The book begins: "Many years ago I was married to a man who shouted at me, 'I do not give you the right to raise your voice to me, because you are a woman and I am a man.'... Now I am married to a man who is a partner and friend...It is a continual source of pleasure to talk to him...But he doesn't always see things as I do, doesn't always react to things as I expect him to. And I often don't understand why he says what he does." And with that, I was hooked. It is a fascinating book, written by a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, yet it is not pedantic, but lively and interesting throughout.
From the cover, a blurb from The Washington Post: People are telling Tannen that the book is saving their marriages. What she is saying is that men and women grow up behaving in such profoundly different ways, and seeing themselves connecting to others in such profoundly different ways, that the two sexes are really trying to communicate across two different cultures.
Tannen has not only a marvelous ear for the way people participate in real conversations, but she is able to express her analysis of this communicative interaction in a teachable fashion. This reads in a chatty manner to convey earnest advice to improve relationships.
A readable, penetrating, and sometimes sobering account of the differences between the way men and women think that goes a long way to clear up the often frustting barriers to communication between the sexes.
This book stimulated many interesting and important discussions between my wife and I on the ways men and women communicate, especially how their communciations are different. It was a real help to us.
I took courses from Tannen in graduate school, and the book is outstanding in making gender differences in conversational styles understandable. What we say and what we hear and what we mean are not always the same thing. She is an excellent writer.
I feel like it's a good book with great references. It let's you open your mind to the other side of how others may think. It will help my relationships in all aspects of my life. If you are having trouble with communication, this book is for you.
I read this book when it first came out which was before the Men are from Mars books.
I was like reading about my husband and me. This woman has really paid attention and I was amazed at the eyeopening things she brought up that made me slap my head and say: Why didn't this occur to me? Sure answers a lot of questions and anyone with a communication problem, not just in their marriage, should read this one.
The author is a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, but she is writing for a general audience and the book is lively. Her field is effective communication, after all. She has a great ear for the ways women and men talk and the ways they do or do not listen.
If only I could remember the contents of this book when I'm communicating with my husband! How many times would I like to tape our conversations and have us both listen to what we said and why we meant, but we can't even do THAT together :-) Still, her book is invaluable for giving insight into the problems oc communication and miscommunication . . .
From Publishers Weekly
Georgetown University linguistics professor Tannen asserts that misunderstandings between the sexes often arise because women like to connect emotionally in conversation while men prefer to impart knowlege. "Tannen examines the functioning of argument and interruption, and convincingly supports her case for the existence of 'genderlect,' " said PW. Author tour.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.