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Topic: What have you done for your relationship TODAY

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Subject: What have you done for your relationship TODAY
Date Posted: 1/14/2009 10:12 AM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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I have tried to make my relationship #1 I have done little things like make a favorite dinner or breakfast. I have watch a movie  that was not my type. Went on vacation to some place that I wouldn't have picked and then loved it !!  I think some time we take our partners for granted. We forget to say I love you,give a hug & kiss before leaving for the day. When Do we start saying NO  to others and giving our partner more of our time. When is the last time you and your partner really talked about your life goals???

So What did you do for your relationship today??  Wouldn't it be nice if we could do something everyday...

Date Posted: 1/14/2009 3:04 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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we can do something everyday. my Lady and i take at least 2 hours a night before bedtime and talk or cuddle or watch tv or play wrestle... we NEVER leave the house without a kiss, hug and an i love you. i think we are so close because other than our kids, no one comes before one another... not work, not inlaws, not friends... no one comes before each other. we cook dinner together almost every night. we clean house together every other day... we take turns taking kids to school or picking them up... we wear one another's clothes just so we can smell one another's scent... i sleep with her pillow in the early mornin since she leaves for work before i do... she wears my cologne cause it reminds her of me...

i had gone to take my state registry exam... and i wore a shirt sprayed with her perfume.. and when i would get nervous..i would pull the shirt up over my nose and deeply inhale and automatically relax.

we update plans weekly on house remodeling plans. we figure out bills each week and discuss ways to pay them in order to give us more breathing room in between...

it's not hard to be close and stay close in a relationship... it's not. especially when both partners are accepting of one another's shortcomings and 'triggers'. i wish everyone was as happy as i am with my partner... of almost 6 years.

and i don't love her as much as i did when we met.... i love her more.

 

Date Posted: 1/14/2009 5:39 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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I offered to go and watch her play basketball! (and I hate sports).  She said no because she wants to go out afterward and I can't stay up past 9pm

Date Posted: 1/15/2009 11:30 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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LOL Jessie!

I've had dinner ready the last 2 nights when DH has come home. He's started school again and goes until 5:15 every evening. On M, W, and TH I am at work and he has to come pick up son then go home. Then make dinner, play with son, bathe son, get him in bed, relax and try to find time for homework. I've made sure all he had to do when he got home is reheat dinner. I'll try to do this at least 2 nights a week (when he has classes at the main campus - 30 minutes away) to help out. . .

The two nights he is later picking up son (from my work) is the two days I'm busiest so sometimes finding time to make dinner before I go to work (3pm) is hard but I think it's worth it. I know when I've had a busy long day I appreciate it when he does something extra for me. . . I think he appreciates it too.

Date Posted: 1/16/2009 4:56 PM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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I'm trying to keep our dog & the 2 foster dogs quiet while she takes a nap, and believe me, that's not easy to do with these dogs.

Jessie, actually it's pretty cool that your relationship allows each of you to do your own 'thing'.  Both DP & I, in our past relationships were with ppl who were emotionally needy.  Now we find it strengthens our relationship to be able to sometimes do something w/o the other.

Date Posted: 1/17/2009 9:53 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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I agree Mary! It's SO important to have your own life.

Date Posted: 1/19/2009 3:06 AM ET
Member Since: 5/13/2006
Posts: 2,157
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What a great question!  I can't answer because the dogs are going crazy....

Date Posted: 1/25/2009 8:58 AM ET
Member Since: 9/20/2005
Posts: 7,478
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L and I have been tied to each other's hip (so to speak) for close to 22 years!  There have been so many great times and so many "no so" great times, but the one thing that has worked really well for us is our total commitment to each other.  We don't have a license or law that holds us together, we hold each other together!

We are guardians to her two neices (ages 17 and 14) and we are mamas to our birthdaughter (age 6 and 3/4).  We were without kids for the first 15 years of our relationship and had a ball with each other.  Today, we still have a ball with each other but with a few stragglers..LOL!

She cherishes me and I worship her.  We laugh just about everyday and talk sometimes until the wee hours of the night (usually until 11:00pm) about what is going on and what we need from each other.  I am just blessed to have such a beautiful (inside and out) woman in my life.  I love to iron her clothes, make her a cup of coffee at 5:00am when she jumps in the shower before work and love to make her poached eggs for breakfast on Sundays.  Some might say I am smitten...FOR SURE!!!

My life is a BLAST!

Date Posted: 1/26/2009 9:32 AM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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Kathi, you are blessed in soooooooooooo many ways. I too am like you, iron the clothes  and make the tea. We will celebrate our 9th anniversary on Feb,14th. We are taking the week off for vacation and cuddle time....AWAY can't wait!  I thank God every day for this wonderful partner. She is a wonder gift.

Date Posted: 1/26/2009 1:13 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Erin - how sweet that your anniversary is on Valentine's Day!

I do all the laundry but she puts away her stuff.  I think tonight I'll put her clothes away for her as a surprise so she doesn't have to worry about,

Date Posted: 1/27/2009 6:13 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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I find it is the little things that mean the most to both of us. Making dinner, doing dishes, love notes.

Date Posted: 1/27/2009 10:34 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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Erin I feel the same way. Sometimes its frustrating because I do something extra around the house to show my love and appreciation. DH is the opposite - needs grand gestures....Although now that he has to stay at home some evenings with DS while I work I think he understand the little things a bit more.

Date Posted: 2/3/2009 8:21 AM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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It is all in your perspective right???  I came home from work, the house was cleaned and the wash almost done :)  Of course the bathrooms are mine :)  It was a wonderful gift.

Date Posted: 2/3/2009 10:52 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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I didn't kill him.....We had a huge fight on Sunday that we haven't really resolved. He comes home from work being the biggest smartass. I so could have killed him but I didn't. That means something, right? lol

Date Posted: 2/4/2009 1:41 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Sarah - that definitely means something!

Date Posted: 2/5/2009 2:42 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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Ok Partners Valentine's Day is 9 day form today!!  What are you doing next Sat to make sure you partner feels LOVED???  We will be on vacation int the Poconos for a cuddle week!!

Date Posted: 2/6/2009 12:22 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Oh, fun Erin!  We're not doing much of anything.  Greta has been so busy so I told her that I just want to spend the day together - I don't even care what we do!  Plus we're trying to save money with the baby on the way so no physical gifts, just time:)

Date Posted: 2/6/2009 1:09 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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We're like Jessie and Greta - just spend the day together. I told hubby if he wanted to get me something to do something for me. I gave him a couple things I'd like done around the house, told him I'd like to sleep in, maybe have breakfast made, things like that.

We'll probably get a few movies and I'll let him pick them all. Then I'll make whatever he wants for dinner.

The only time we do gifts is birthday's and our anni.

Date Posted: 2/6/2009 7:05 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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I believe TIME is the most important gift we can give to our partners!!!

Date Posted: 2/8/2009 4:03 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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I think you're right, too, Erin.  EVeryone is so busy and sometimes it's hard to even MAKE the time. 

Date Posted: 2/8/2009 5:13 PM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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On the 14th, I'm performing in the Vagina Monologues in the evening.  We really aren't doing gifts, but she really likes to watch me perform the various parts of the monologues, so I think that is a pretty good treat for her. lol

I did go out & get her a 16gb stick drive because she's getting into writing again, she was really tickled that I got it for her.  Plus I hid it under a cute notepad inside a plastic craft box.  Told her the notepad was for keeping notes when she thought of things for her stories & when she lifted it up out of the box, she saw the stick drive.  Just the look on her face was a big gift for me. :-)

 

Date Posted: 2/9/2009 11:27 AM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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Mary how sweet!!! =)

As most of you know I'm pregnant. I am so freaking tired it's ridiculous. . . For the last month or so I've been asking DH to let me sleep in on Sunday (I worked Saturdays in Jan). Well he finally let me sleep in last week. So yesterday (Sun) I let him sleep in. Then I kept J busy while he did his homework. I also did 98% of the cleaning around the house.

I've been trying really hard to make things easier on him since he's in school. I cooked dinner every day last week before I went to work. The most he'd have to do is reheat it. He didn't say a word. So yesterday I asked him if it helped. He said "Yeah I guess so". It is so frustrating with him; the more I do to help him out the less he does and the more he expects from me. . . I don't think he realises how tired I am all the time; how much growing a baby takes out of you. I've been trying to grin and bare it but sometimes I just want to strangle him. I so wish men could be pregnant.

Vent over; sorry.

Date Posted: 2/10/2009 7:31 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,085
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Sarah , May I suggest the 5 love Languages book to you. I think you will find it helpful. I drove myself crazy with doing thing that didn't matter to my partner because I thought it was what she wanted.....I found out not So !!!  It is a good book and you can both read it and enjoy it. Let me know if you get it I would love to hear what you think.

Date Posted: 2/11/2009 11:17 AM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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I've read half of it...I don't remember why I didn't finish. I might look for it and pick it back up. Hubby wont read, esp something like that. Thanks for the advise! =)

Date Posted: 2/11/2009 12:28 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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I just made Greta a slideshow of pics from our 2 weddings and of our pets, our house, and ultrasound pics:)  And I got her a super sweet card.

Mary - I miss performing in the monologues for v-day!  Good luck with the performance!

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