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Topic: What to do if you don't know whether it's arrived?

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Gavia -
Subject: What to do if you don't know whether it's arrived?
Date Posted: 9/26/2010 8:32 AM ET
Member Since: 12/23/2009
Posts: 198
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I had a book sent to my brother-in-law; it was mailed on September 12.   I asked him to please let me know as soon as it arrived, so I could mark it received.   So far I haven't heard from him.    He's disabled and doesn't always reply promptly, and can't get down to his mailbox himself, but there's a doorman in the building and he has helpers.   I'm going to e-mail him again and ask whether the book has arrived, but what if I don't get a reply?   The cut-off date specified by PBS is Oct. 9.   What do I do if I haven't heard from him by then?   Do I mark it either "Received," so the sender can get credit, or "Lost?"  .

Date Posted: 9/26/2010 10:13 AM ET
Member Since: 9/8/2009
Posts: 613
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I sometimes have books sent to my son.  Knowing there's a chance he'll forget to tell me he received it, I mark the book "received" as soon as the sender marks it "sent," and send a PM to the sender explaining why.  It's a chance I'm willing to take, given the small number of books that actually go lost.

Cathy A. (Cathy) - ,
Date Posted: 9/26/2010 10:16 AM ET
Member Since: 12/27/2005
Posts: 4,124
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I assume you're asking because you've received the first "Has your friend gotten ..." email from PBS. I think you should email your brother again today, and if he hasn't responded by the next email, mark the book received. The sender gets the benefit of the doubt here since you know your brother is unreliable but you don't know that about the sender.

Date Posted: 9/26/2010 11:36 AM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,800
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I use the feature "mail to a friend" often.  I mark them received after a week.   My friend simply is not able to contact me to let me know if it's arrived or not.  I take the chance of never getting the book, but I don't think it's fair for me to make the sender wait for their credit.

Date Posted: 9/26/2010 12:08 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,186
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I really think if you have a book sent to someone who doesn't/can't/won't confirm that the book has arrived you need to mark the book received. Its not the senders fault that you can't confirm it so I would think the risk should be yours. You need to find out or give the sender credit, letting it go lost would be completely unfair to the sender IMO.

Gavia -
Date Posted: 9/26/2010 1:08 PM ET
Member Since: 12/23/2009
Posts: 198
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Thanks, that's kind of what I was thinking.    I think I will forget about e-mailing my BIL again and just mark the book "Received.  That way my BIL won't have to worry about letting me know and the sender gets the credit.  That makes it a win-win situation.