We've discussed in this forum before some stories where the action was just so downright ridiculous it was hard to stand. Well, I just read another one.

The basic plot is about the heroine, pregnant with the supposedly-assinated prince's child. But he's not really dead and reappears to save her from henchman - at which point she goes into labor.

They later have to leave a hospital when she's 5 centimeters dilated because bad guys show up, and she has the baby in a seedy motel. The next day is running around and car chases (and car crashes). By day 2 or 3 they escape the bad guys on a motorcyle.  (I cannot even imagine riding a motorcyle a couple days after giving birth. And, no, the baby wasn't with them.) 

Also about this time she begs him to make love to her - but he ultimately decides it's too soon.  More running (literally) from henchman, car chases, she's shot in the shoulder, betrayal by close friend, she's kidnapped, she fights her kidnappers.  And then all is resolved. HEA

I'm not eactly sure of the timeline, but I think the whole story lasts about 4 days, with day 1 being when she goes into labor.

How does this stuff get published??

Maybe the editors never had a baby.

I read one a few days ago that I had trouble with - hero was surprised to find heroine 5-6 months pregnant because they both thought she had a miscarriage.  Turns out she only miscarried one of twins and she didn't find out for 6 weeks after the miscarriage.  I can see possibly see miscarrying one twin, but wouldn't the OB/Gyn do some checking to make sure a D&C wasn't necessry or something and discover the remaining twin? 

I'm sorry, no woman is begging to get laid three days after having a baby, that's just nuts! Why even include childbirth as part of the story? Seems like the author should have started the story a couple weeks after the baby's birth then let all that crazy stuff happen.

The motorcycle was the part that had me wincing. Ugh - just think about it. Putting pressure on that part of my body at that time?? And anyone remember what your breasts feel like those first few days? I recall feeling like a milk cow someone had forgotten to tend to. Walking hurt, jiggling them was excruciating. Add that symptom to the motorcycle ride as well.

However, now that I consider  the days after I gave birth, my doctor didn't explicitly tell me NOT to deliberately crash my car into a swampy marsh, swim thru the murky water, walk to a nearby farm, and then fly across bumpy country roads on the back of a Harley.

Maybe I was malingering?

Yikes!  I haven't given birth, but considering what my breasts feel like when I get my period and multiplying it is enough to make me cry, not to mention pressure from a motorcycle after stretching to expel something the size of a baby.  That one should never have made it past a draft phase.

Karen - not to scare you off of future children - but it's not just stretching and soreness. There's usually some tearing (and stitches, although she wouldn't have had those with no doctor), so aside from everything else - you have an unpleasant wound down there trying to heal. It can be hard to sit in a car those first few days - especially with the first child. 

LOL, Jo!!  Maybe there is a tiny percent of the population (blessed with superhero-type recuperative powers) who aren't slowed down much by birth--the same type of strength that enables some women to give birth by themselves in the fields and continue working after--and the author was modeling the heroine after one of these.

For the rest of us, this timeline is uh.. unrealistic.

LOL Jo, no worries.  I was just being discreet (for me) as my mother assures me things I find normal to discuss are not fit for public discussion. I'm already planning my epidurals and drug cocktail after Large Animal Reproduction, especially since humans don't fit nearly as well as horses, shudder.  After a few horrifying dystocias and torn cervixes, I was ready to embrace adoption or just getting a dog

you have an unpleasant wound down there trying to heal. It can be hard to sit in a car those first few days - especially with the first child.

Ah yes, the insidious episiotomy.  What a joy that is, especially when the stitches start to draw up - which would have been about the time your heroine was jumping on the back of a motorcycle.  Ouch!  I'd send the author some instructional fanmail:P

Karen - I understand. Some of these forum postings get amazingly detailed (TMI, please!). I figured I was hitting the boundaries (at least my own) with that last piece but I tried not to get too descriptive or into the really gross, yucky stuff happening during the healing process.

Sarah - I'm with you on your comment. I think most women are still contemplating lifelong celibacy then. (You think I'd ever be interested in THAT again?)

And considering the pain and messiness involved - I can't imagine the most callous of guys being interested at that point.

In this book, there was just no way I could get past the "ick factor" to even consider that a hot scene. And I believe I recall that the noble hero refrained from fear it was too soon but wasn't sure about his willpower if she persisted in the idea the next night. Oh yeah - 24 hours is going to make sooo much difference that first week!

In some books, I can sort of understand jumping the gun on the 6 week recovery time a little. All bodies are different. Maybe week 5 is okay for some. But midway through week 1?? No thanks.

Actually, I like the stories with the sweet endings where the couple has had the baby, it's been a few weeks, passions are sizzling, and they've just gotten the "all clear" from the doctor. That last love scene that blends their committment and anticipation and passion. I can buy into that type of storyline.

I was still in the hospital 3 days after giving birth, of course I had a c-section. No motorcycles or swimming was going on for me!

I am just cringing!!!!!!!  And I have never had a baby!!!

My friends who've had natural childbirth actually recovered incrediby fast. (I also had a c-section.) The drugs really take a lot out of you.  Still -- pretty damn implausible and extremely unsexy/unromantic.

I am just cringing!!!!!!!  And I have never had a baby!!!

Me too

I did have a natural childbirth with my youngest, and yes, you do rebound faster than if you have drugs and/or an epidural, but there is NO WAY I would have been doing any of those things within weeks of giving birth!  That author has clearly never given birth.  Begging for sex- ummmm, NO.  There is a reason why they tell you to wait at least 6 weeks!

I'm reading a book now where the heroine gets pregnant & we follow her pregnancy. It is mentioned over and over about her flat breasts and how she can't believe the hero would desire her. The book mentions her growing belly, but her breast never grow in size.

Also, she's been having labor pains all day, and the airlines still let her board a plane.

Why can't these authors research topics better?

I always wonder how some of the junk out there gets published. I mean, I can suspend belief for a romance but not to that extent and especially with such an un-romantic topic!

I was cringing after just reading the in labor and leaving the  hosptial part let alone the rest of it! heck didn't women used to squat down in the field, pop one out, and go back to picking beans or whatever?!

there's a lot of far-fetched stuff..I couldn't finish a harlequin historical because the man almost died from a gunshot wound to the leg, she opened it because of the infection and cauterized? think that's the word..then a day or so later afte rcoming out of a bad fever there's man-on-top nookie marathon. just unbelievable. a werewolf or vamp book I could believe the super-healing stuff but gee whiz! but that labor story has it all beat to pieces!

I actually Googled the author of the book in my post and saw a reference to her new book and how she was excited to combine two of her keen areas of interest: motherhood and love of horses.  She's the mom of two boys. (Her childbirth experiences must have been far different from mine.)

To be fair - her reference to motherhood was about doing anything to protect your child (i.e. in the book, safeguarding their lives and the future for the baby) - not about HAVING the child.

Large Animal Reproduction         I have stopped cringing and I am now laughing my ass off.......

I've never given birth either but, yeah, I know running around is the LAST thing you want to do after that.  I'm all for a little suspended disbelief in a story but that's chucking common sense out the window.

In Wild Conquest by Hannah Howell: a couple of days after being mauled by a bear (yes a bear!) the hero who was on deaths door is fit enough for the man on top marathon. 

I have given birth and I could barely sit on the toilet for days afterwards let alone on a motorcycle.  I didn't want sex for months afterwards. DH ahd to do a lot of begging.

yeah, Mary..my friend who lives for sex(yes pretty much does LOL) .it took her 6 months or so to even wanna *think* about sex after having her baby she swears having the baby did something to her drive.  I don't think she's back to 'normal for her' yet.

Aw c'mon, I can't be the only person who couldn't hold out for the whole six weeks, can I? ;-)