The Eclectic Pen - Wild Rose


By: Mary Rose C. (DreamersOftenLie)  
Date Submitted: 8/19/2009
Last Updated: 8/23/2009
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 92
Rating:


  "Wrapping seeds in soil
Lulling them to grow
Shielding them from bitter winds
From early frost and snow

So all will rise as fragrant herbs
A temptress for the tongue
Searing in a melting pot
Their scents oozing into one

Yet from the sweet rosemary
Intrudes a weed contrary
A wild rose stands alone

Refusing to drown
In home's choral sound
She leaves comfort to claim her own



Please review, critique, and give advice honestly and generously :)

P.S. - Someone suggested that the last 3 lines don't fit and end a peaceful, joyous poem on a depressing note. i'd appreciate feedback on this matter especailly.


The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Mary Rose C. (DreamersOftenLie)

Member Comments


Leave a comment about this story...




Comments 1 to 3 of 3
Jesse (EddyKrueger) - 8/20/2009 2:34 PM ET
I liked it, and I would love to see you keep posting.
Mary Rose C. (DreamersOftenLie) - 8/20/2009 11:13 PM ET
thank you...i'd love to keep posting this forum seems very supportive
Claudia R. (BrokenWing) - 8/29/2009 11:15 PM ET
Wanted to share this poem by Goethe with you. It has a folk-song like quality. Yours reminded me a bit of this. Rose on the Heath (translated from German--not by me) Passing lad a rose blossom spied, Blossom on the heath growing, 'Twas so fair and of youthful pride, Raced he fast to be near its side, Saw it with joy o'erflowing. Blossom, blossom, blossom red, Blossom on the heath growing. Said the lad: I shall pick thee, Blossom on the heath growing! Blossom spoke: Then I'll prick thee, That thou shalt ever think of me, And I'll not be allowing. Blossom, blossom, blossom red, Blossom on the heath growing. And the lusty lad did pick The blossom on the heath growing; Blossom, in defense, did prick, 'Twas, alas, but a harmless nick, Had to be allowing. Blossom, blossom, blossom red, Blossom on the heath growing.
Comments 1 to 3 of 3