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Topic: Worst Covers Ever

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Subject: Worst Covers Ever
Date Posted: 9/6/2009 9:22 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
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I think we need to post some of the worst covers we've seen.  I don't mean just cheesy bodice rippers or those fugly computer generated one, but ones that make you say "WTH?  Who ever thought this was a good idea??".  Here's one I saw that just made me shudder (you must click on "larger" under the pic to fully appreciate the badness):

Dancler's Woman (Silhouette Desire, No 822)

 

Date Posted: 9/6/2009 9:41 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 808
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Dawn, I won't tell you that, despite the cover, Dancler's Woman was actually a pretty good book.

I've got a raft of category titles that are reflective of who was hot in Hollyweird at the time they were published. Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Burt Reynolds (w/mustache).

 

Date Posted: 9/6/2009 10:39 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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I hate the old HP covers with the men who look like someone's grandfather. 

Date Posted: 9/7/2009 4:47 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,545
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Check this one out.....This guy looks like he just smelled something realllllllllly baaaaaaaad.  I suck at the link thang so here it is.

http://www.paperbackswap.com/book/details/9780373617777-The+Empath   

Date Posted: 9/7/2009 5:33 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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When u look real quick this one looks likes he's giving the finger.

http://www.paperbackswap.com/book/details/9780505523112-The+Bewitched+Viking+Wink+a+Kiss+1

Date Posted: 9/7/2009 6:46 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2006
Posts: 14,634
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yep I have one that looks like that first cover you posted and it was popular esp on the silhouette desires..might even be the same model an it was a pretty darned good book once I quit looking at the cover LOL!

I still hate this one every time I see it   http://www.paperbackswap.com/book/details/9780373079919-Get+Lucky+Tall+Dark+Dangerous+Bk+9+Silhouette+Intimate+Moments+No+991 

it's one we've mentioned before..big tough fit navy seal looks like the pillsbury doughboy!



Last Edited on: 9/7/09 6:49 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 11:04 AM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 2,937
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I'm laughing out loud at all of these, especially the last guy.

I love this series and am so happy that they replaced these covers with hot guys. I just couldn't imagine this guy as my hero, not if he had to suck in his gut like that.

Sawyer (The Buckhorn Brothers) (Temptation, 786) :: Lori Foster

And look at how many people are wishing for the doughboy in the last post!!!!!! What's he sitting on? They could at least have put him in a chair instead of plopping his big butt on a footstool.



Last Edited on: 9/8/09 11:07 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 11:19 AM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2006
Posts: 5,498
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Ugh!! What did they do to Sawyer??!!

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 11:19 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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I love this series and am so happy that they replaced these covers with hot guys. I just couldn't imagine this guy as my hero, not if he had to suck in his gut like that.

Not to mention that he has no neck and looks like he's about 16:P

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 11:45 AM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
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Oh, these are too funny. I can't believe the "big (literally, I guess), tough Navy Seal who is apparently used to women swooning at his feet..." lol - he looks kinda like comic book guy in costume.

Here's him in the Large Print version...he's better looking but it looks like he's sitting on the toilet lol http://www.paperbackswap.com/book/details/9780373048212-Get+Lucky+Tall+Dark+and+Dangerous+Bk+9+Large+Print



Last Edited on: 9/8/09 11:47 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 1:05 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2008
Posts: 311
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This is too funny.  I remember reading Sawyer... and Get Lucky and thinking how glad I was that I was using a bookcover.  It was still hard though, keeping the image from the front cover out of my head while reading the book! 

Here are my candidates:

This one just cracks me up.  It looks like they're careening down a hillside after rolling a couple of times.  And whose hand is that on him, anyway?  That doesn't look too much like a woman's - and if it is, how could she reach him from that unlikely position! http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/imageviewer.asp?ean=9780373791224

This one gets the ewwwww award for all time:  http://www.jasminejade.com/pm-6329-25-dementia.aspx

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 1:14 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2006
Posts: 14,634
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gosh he DOES look like he's having a tough time in the john! unfortuately there are 3 books in brockmann's tall dark and dangerous silhouette series that weren't reprinted or as widely available and that drove up the desire to have them to complete the series. I had no idea they reprinted that one!

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 1:28 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 2,937
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ok Lynn, first of all, I'm not even sure of what I'm looking at in that cover. I saw that online or in a store and said, "What?"

And the eww of all time....Oh...My...Gosh... who could carry that book around????

Is this where I ran across the smuttiest covers of all time??? There were some that left NOTHING to the imagination..let me see if I can find one. There was one more explicit than this but you definitely get the idea.

Skin on Skin

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 1:44 PM ET
Member Since: 8/21/2005
Posts: 989
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OMG, all of these pics are cracking me up!!!

I won a contest for a free ebook and a starbucks gift certificate. The author also emailed me a refrigerator magnet with the books cover on it. My DH saw it and immediately said " What the h*ll kind of books are you reading?!!" He thought the "hero" in the hat was a pic of the female actress Sean Young. LOL, i feel bad for making fun of the Author's cover since i won something from her but the Hero on the cover does look a little too feminine to me.

http://www.cobblestone-press.com/catalog/books/midnightbride.htm



Last Edited on: 9/8/09 1:45 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 1:57 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2008
Posts: 311
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Yep Jenny, not too much left to the imagination there!  There was another one not too long ago at Jasmine Jade (Ellora's Cave) that *didn't* leave anything to the imagination - at least until they caught it and did some photo editing!  It was a Jory Strong book called Zoe's Gift.  When it was first offered, it showed the guy's very large and erect "member".   I thought I was seeing things at first, so I enlarged it <rolls eyes>, and sure enough it was!  LOL Believe me, there was enough detail that you could tell the artist had obviously worked at it.   I couldn't help but laugh my head off, wondering how that had gotten through the approval stage and final cut without somebody noticing.   I bought the e-book version - which had been edited, but wondered if at least some of the printed ones went out with the whole shebang.  By the way, I'd post the link here but it's still pretty suggestive and I can't remember if this is an 18 and older site!  If you check the book out at JJ, it was the guy sitting down.  He was sitting but something else was standing!

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 3:00 PM ET
Member Since: 12/29/2008
Posts: 1,388
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These are cracking me up! I love it!

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 3:30 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 2,937
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Lynn, I'm just about crying other the cover. I'm picturing you "enlarging" the, um, "whole shabang."

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 4:26 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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Hmmm, I don't usually read f/f but that one Tanya posted looks like it could be pretty hot! ;-)

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 4:31 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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OMG, how unlucky can poor Lucky get? Not one but two gawdawful covers! I think the art directors took the title a bit too literally...

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 4:53 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 2,937
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Despite wedding a beautiful bride, all Jed wants is the land rightfully due him. And to find out if Carrie's father killed his own.

 And all Carrie wants to find out is if Jed is really a dude.
 
(This last line must have accidentally been left off the back cover of Tanya's book.)


Last Edited on: 9/8/09 4:53 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 5:11 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2008
Posts: 311
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"Lynn, I'm just about crying other the cover. I'm picturing you "enlarging" the, um, "whole shabang." "

Yep, I was just about laughing so hard I was in tears myself.  It was quite the shabang!  Oh and since I happen to love Jory Strong, it was a good book as well. :)

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 5:15 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2008
Posts: 311
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Oh, and Tanya - that's hilarious! It's like which one's the bride?  :D  YOu know what I just realized?  The "guy" looks like Princess Stephanie of Monaco when she was younger: http://www.genealogy.com/famousfolks/graphics/psmonaco.jpg



Last Edited on: 9/8/09 5:21 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/8/2009 5:33 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 808
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OMG! The text editor now has TOOLS!

I was going to comment about the Get Lucky cover... it reminded me of Patrick Laboryteaux (Bud) in the TV series JAG. Not an intrepid hero type!

Now, my candidate for worst cover ever... it's an old bodice ripper, Sweet Obsession by Kathy Jones. It's hard to see in the online pic, but she is staring off into space, her face expressionless. Date rape drug? Or is she dead? EEEEWWWWW!

Colleen

Date Posted: 9/8/2009 6:10 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,545
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This one just cracks me up.  It looks like they're careening down a hillside after rolling a couple of times.  And whose hand is that on him, anyway?  That doesn't look too much like a woman's - and if it is, how could she reach him from that unlikely position! http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/imageviewer.asp?ean=9780373791224

Lynn,  What is going on in this picture?  I am stumped.


Date Posted: 9/8/2009 7:51 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
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Apparently she's a contortionist. Yikes!

ETA: I'm still cracking up over the whole "careening down a hillside" thing, it really does look like that! How that cover got to print I can't even guess!



Last Edited on: 9/8/09 7:57 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
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