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Topic: Wow! Rude swapper re: Requestor Conditions

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Subject: Wow! Rude swapper re: Requestor Conditions
Date Posted: 1/23/2010 10:47 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 47
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Two wish list books in the same series have been posted to me, one at a time.  The first one was rejected for my conditions with "'cannot meet requests."  I actually misunderstood this to mean that they weren't able to mail the book for some reason, but now its clearer that the second book probably also was from the same person.

The second book, listed yesterday, came back with the same rejection for my requestor conditions:

Sorry bought used. . .already wrapped. . .I don't do well with demands for USED free books that I'm swapping. . .so when there are conditions I deny reject, esp. when it's a newer in demand book.  Might want to change your conditions.  I will always reject.

 

Okay, if I was incredibly demanding, I could see some sense in that response.  But here are my conditions verbatim:

 

Please deny my request if the book is smokey smelling - I'm sensitive to the smoke!

Also, please wrap the book in a way that it is waterproof.  Our new mailman doesn't always close our mailbox!

Thanks so much!

 

I'm probably over annoyed at this person's wording (I wish I would have gotten more than her name before the request was canceled.)  But does that seem incredibly rude to anyone else?  I certainly could care less if it's used - I've traded more than 600 books on this site in the last 4 years - I certainly expect it to be used - I wouldn't be surprised if it was barely postable!   Perhaps I'm overreacting, but I'm wondering how many other she's choosing not to mail to because they have conditions - reasonable or not!

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:08 AM ET
Member Since: 8/15/2007
Posts: 3,044
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I would send to you. Your conditions are very reasonable.

I think they were a bit rude by saying that you might want to change your conditions. Just like you can't really tell them they should stop denying RCs, they shouldn't tell you not to have any. From what I understand some people deny RCs on principle. I agree it's slightly annoying since you aren't asking a whole lot, but maybe it will catch up to them eventually when they can't get a credit for a book or two because they've denied everyone. ;)

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:23 AM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,495
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I think your conditions are pretty clear and reasonable also.  Sounds like you ran into someone that just flat out rejects all RCs no matter what they are.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:25 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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You're probably talking about someone whose single sense of empowerment in life comes from denying RCs on PBS.  Pretty sad when you think about it and more a cause for pity than annoyance.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:26 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 47
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LOL, I never thought of the fact they might run out of credits... 

I've honestly never had someone refuse to mail to me because I ask people to not send me smokey books.  I've had refusals because they were smokey (and I was so thankful that they paid attention!)  It's sad, but in the past few years it's gotten to where I have to hold my breath if people are smoking near the mall entrance or I have an attack.  I can't imagine trying to read a full book with smokey odors emanating from it, and I don't want to try.

 

I think I'm probably being petty about it the message.  It's such a silly thing, but it annoys me to no end.  LOL

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:45 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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Well, you seem to be handling it better than they did:P  From the tone of the message, I'd say your RC really got (as my mom used to say...) her "bowels in an uproar".  Likely her books don't meet many RCs to begin with, which is why she's so angry and defensive about them.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:02 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,187
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Might want to change your conditions.  I will always reject

Yup, 'cause she's the only one you'll ever be able to get books from so you better just change your ways! Your RCs are perfectly reasonable, though some people don't like the subjectiveness of smell RCs. I wouldn't worry about a snotty denial like that. Let hertake her books and her crankiness elsewhere.

eta: and if both books were from the same member, her crankiness just cost her $$ since denying your RCs just sent those books to the WIsh LIst FIFO lines and most likely two different people. Karma :)



Last Edited on: 1/23/10 12:04 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:19 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2010
Posts: 36
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Just last week I had to reject a RC for non smoking.  The person explained they have a condition which causes them to have a reaction to even residue on objects.  I wanted to send the book because I am a non smoker and did not detect an odor but the book was in the hands of others and how was I supposed to know if it had been exposed to smoke?  What are we supposed to have on hand to test our books - some kind of breathalyzer?  The RC I find most offensive are those wanting like new hard cover book for as they state in their RC- " they will be kept in their own personal library on display ".

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:31 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 47
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Mary - I would completely understand if someone was unsure their books met my non-smoking thing, and I totally appreciate when someone is unsure and they choose not to send it.  For me, the third-hand smoke usually isn't a problem, but if it's strong enough, it is.  There's no way for me to detail that, so I just put what I had above.  I assume whoever mails the books will smell it and if it isn't obviously smokey to them and they send it, then it's probably not going to be obviously/strongly smokey to me, either.  And there have been times when it smells lightly of smoke, and I just assume they couldn't smell it and air out the book - no big deal.

But I totally understand people who would rather be safe than sorry - I'm the same way! LOL.

 

Kim, lol, thanks for saying that.  These were both books that looked like good "boredom" books - not something I'd pick up in the store or really, really want, but something worth reading for the PBS price. :P

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:33 PM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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I thought her response was incredibly rude.  Also, I doubt that person sends out a lot of books if they reject all requests that have an RC.  Personally I think you should consider yourself lucky.  It seems to me that you dodged a bullet.  Imagine how that person would have responded if there was a problem with the book!

 

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:41 PM ET
Member Since: 2/18/2009
Posts: 6
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I also have the condition about smoking and have gotten responses from people that say it is a used book. I know most books are used, but the question is that does it smell like smoke.

 

I understand someone rejecting a book that has too many conditions. I do that myself. I remember one person saying that he wanted his books in perfect condition, because all his books were perfect. That is too much. So I rejected it.  

 

I don’t think your conditions are unreasonable. I think there are two extremes on this site: the ones that don’t like any conditions and those that have too many. But thankfully most people are reasonable and understanding.

 

And I wouldn’t change your conditions, because then you wouldn’t get a book you couldn’t read.

 

I also got rejected to day with a response saying the book was used. I’m going to look over my condition to make sure it makes sense. 

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 12:56 PM ET
Member Since: 3/27/2009
Posts: 25,000
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I don't do well with demands for USED free books that I'm swapping.

 

Well Candice,

You can analyze this person to pieces or you can file this under W for Weirdo and move on. I'd recommend you doing the latter.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 1:41 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 47
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TomeTrader - true, but it's Saturday, which is cleaning/unpacking day (from our recent move.)  I'd rather analyze the weirdos. :P  Any excuses will do....

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 2:01 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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Your RC is perfectly reasonable, Candice...this member was definitely rude and if she keeps up like that, she won't have anybody to send books to.

I usually don't give a reason when I decline books with RC...I figure the person will know it was because it didn't meet the RC in one way or the other. I confess I decline those that are too long after I got one with 5 paragraphs and another one with 10 bullet points...it's not my job to verify that my book fits 10 conditions! (I always think the person will find something wrong with the books and mark it RWAP. :)

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 2:04 PM ET
Member Since: 3/27/2009
Posts: 25,000
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 but it's Saturday, which is cleaning/unpacking day (from our recent move.)  I'd rather analyze the weirdos. :P  Any excuses will do....

 

LOL, I love your honesty.  I love analyzing weirdos too instead of getting things done.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 3:32 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
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I think people who blanket deny all RCs are just shooting themselves in the foot, but that's their prerogative. Based on the attitude of that message and the fact that she claimed the book was free, I wouldn't want to receive books from this person. I wouldn't be surprised if the thing didn't meet posting conditions either. This is based on the "free USED book" comment, not the denying of RCs, because this seems to be a common attitude among those who don't bother to adhere to the condition guidelines of the site. It sounds to me like your requestor conditions did their job and you dodged a book that you wouldn't have been happy with, I'm just sorry they had to be an a-hole about it.



Last Edited on: 1/23/10 3:33 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:04 PM ET
Member Since: 1/13/2005
Posts: 2,317
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I don't do well with demands for USED free books that I'm swapping

Evidently they're also not doing well with the construction of English sentences, nor with courtesy or common sense.  Sorry they were so rude.  Your conditions are clear to me and perfectly polite, and I would send to you without a problem.  BTW, what were the books?  Maybe someone here is planning to post them.

Date Posted: 1/23/2010 11:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2008
Posts: 91
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I too think you dodged a bullet. As Liesl said, people who emphasize the "used" aspect of book swapping are more likely (not always, of course) to have books that don't meet PBS' guidelines. Otherwise they wouldn't be so defensive about it.


One of my wish-list requests was turned down because of my "please wrap in plastic" RC. The person only left "XX" in the explanation, which annoyed me even though I know it shouldn't. I don't know if I'm more annoyed about the "XX" or the refusal of my RC. I guess it's better than the snotty one that Candice got!

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 12:05 AM ET
Member Since: 9/27/2008
Posts: 370
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I think people get too worked up about them.  If I get an RC I don't think I can meet, I decline and move on.  I don't have any RCs, but if I did, I would expect that not everyone will be able to meet them and that I need to exercise a bit of patience because I might go through more than one, perhaps several, swappers before I find one that has a book that meets the RC.

It doesn't really matter how unreasonable an RC might be, though if it's really weird, that's always good for a laugh on the discussion boards.  But, the RC is what the reqeusters wants and it is the requesters right to have an RC.  And it's not my place to judge if the RC is too demanding.  Only to determine if I can meet it or not. 

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 5:45 AM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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Agreeing with Kim, "You're probably talking about someone whose single sense of empowerment in life comes from denying RCs on PBS.  Pretty sad when you think about it and more a cause for pity than annoyance."

And also with those who have suggested the possibility that the books may not meet postability guidelines.

Other than the disappointment of not receiving your wishlisted books (and a reason to procrastinate on housework)...this one isn't worth getting your panties in a bunch ;)

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 3:37 PM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2009
Posts: 160
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Going to throw my 2 cents out here.  While I agree your RC was perfectly acceptable, as a smoker (who doesnt smoke in her house) when I see anything regarding to smoke that ends with an exclamation point or two ! for some reason that just kind of torques me.  No idea why, maybe its because it makes me (the smoker) feel like some kind of nasty class of citizen because I happen to smoke, but as I said thats just me.  I do know that I dont have that reaction when the request is phrased without the exclamation point.  Guess I'm weird haha. ;)



Last Edited on: 1/24/10 3:39 PM ET - Total times edited: 3
Subject: reply
Date Posted: 1/24/2010 5:48 PM ET
Member Since: 9/7/2009
Posts: 25
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Honestly I have no conditions and I have been rejected just because I live in Hawaii!  I don't care how long a book takes to get here if its something I really want to read I will wait for it. No I don't think your conditions are bad. In fact I don't blame you at all for being upset!

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 6:54 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 47
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haha, luv2cook - I can see what you are saying.  The exclamation point, though, is more a bad forum habit of mine to try to convey friendliness and enthusiasm than to make any smokers feel bad. :)  As you can see, I ended almost all my sentences in my conditions with it...and now that I think of it, it kinda looks dumb. LOL 


But if someone put two exclamation points in a row - !! - that would strike me as insincere and pushy, too. 

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 7:40 PM ET
Member Since: 11/17/2008
Posts: 1,133
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Honestly I have no conditions and I have been rejected just because I live in Hawaii!

Rejected because you live in Hawaii? Good grief! It doesn't cost anymore to ship to Hawaii than to any other part of the U.S., and you can drop the book in the mailbox the same as you would a book going anywhere else.

Date Posted: 1/24/2010 11:20 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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Mail to and from Hawaii can take longer, Media Mail especially can take 3 to 5 weeks to arrive.  Rather pathetic reason for members to to decline books tho

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