I did not realize until I started reading this book that the focus is on mothers and adult daughters, not adolescent daughters! But since I have a mother and I am an adult daughter, and one day my daughters will be adults, I decided to read it anyway. I soon realized that nothing in this book applies to my relationship with my mother -- apparently my mother is perfect! Hopefully I've gleaned enough insight that will stay with me though for when my daughters are adults. All in all, it was an interesting read.
I gave this book as a Mother's Day gift to my mother, my mother-in-law, and my two sisters. Deborah Tannen manages to identify so many of the issues that turn into conflict between mothers and daughters, and explains how to reframe these issues so that there can be understanding instead.
The author, Deborah Tannen, writes regarding communication between mothers and their teenage and adult daughters. The stories and insights hit home while giving the reader many chuckles. One line from the book: "Daughters might find ways to involve their mothers in their lives without compromising their independence, and mothers might find ways to be helpful other than giving advice and protection." There are sections that are repetitive. Tannen points out over and over again what the problem is in the communication between daughters and mothers, and wait till the very last chapter to give tidbits of advice, like silence is golden. Read the first couple of chapters, then skip to the last.