Book Review of uncharted terriTORI

uncharted terriTORI
reviewed on + 62 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 7


It took me a while to hop on the Tori Spelling bandwagon. I was never a fan of hers during 90210 and didnt care to see her movies or give her a second thought, really. Then her reality show came out and two of my girlfriends (LibraryLove being one of them) talked about how much they loved her and how funny she was on her show with her family. So I sighed heavily and watched an episode of the show. I was surprised to find I actually liked her! Toris wit and humor cracked me up and her sweet relationship with Dean was endearing and cute to watch.

So naturally I stayed on the bandwagon and read (and loved) both of her first two books, sTORI telling and Mommywood. I loved how candid she was and how much she shared. My mouth dropped while reading of her mothers neuroses at her first wedding, and I couldnt imagine having a mother as neurotic as Candy Spelling.

While the show has fallen down my favorite list, I still wanted to read the newest Tori book. But I was so disappointed with this one. More than one chapter detailed events that have aired on the show (stale material, anyone?) and I felt like the book makes Tori Spelling look like a freak-show. I mean, really. The woman is afraid of EVERYTHING and quite frankly, thats exhausting to read about over and over. She (admittedly) lives her life in fear of anything and everything that could happen in a given day. I rolled my eyes more than once, thinking Get a hold of yourself, woman.

Toris obsession with other world mediums is out there. She consults psychics (even gifting visits with them for loved ones) and has voodoos performed in her home and on her person. Feeling she had an evil spirit within her, Mama Lolacombined cornmeal, dried beans, vegetables, and chopped-up yams. She added gin and Florida water, a cologne from the nineteenth century thats still popular in South American and Caribbean cultureschantedslashed my clothing into strips. She goes on for an entire chapter about this experience and it leaves me (the reader) wondering why this wasnt a private event that she refrained from publishing?

Reading about her going to her mothers for a Christmas party convinced me she is JUST like her mother. Once portrayed to be a loony tune, Candy Spelling raised a daughter just like her. Communicating through Candys assistant, Tori plans to attend a Christmas party at The Manor, the obscene Spelling private residence. Reading about Tori getting ready for this was unreal. She went to Papyrus to get their fanciest gift wrap paper for the hostess gift she was giving her mother. When curling her hair, she writes, How would my mother react? Would she think I was too old for long, loose curls? Would wearing it up be more lady-like? While picking out her outfit, she writes I started with redbut then I got nervous about wearing red because I didnt want my mother or anyone else to think I was trying to steal the show. I must have tried on a total of eight dresses. I mean, listen, I get that there are perfectionists out there, but this is exhausting. No wonder Tori winds up in the hospital, literally sick to her stomach with stress and migraines on more than one occasion. She drives herself crazy!

I am disappointed to post a negative review because Ive been a fan for a while. But this book paints Tori Spelling as a self-obsessed, neurotic, spoiled and materialistic wack-a-doodle. Definitely not my favorite of her books. Though she was still funny in her writing, the craziness far outweighed the comedy. Maybe next time?

2.5/5 stars