By: BARBARA D. (TINKER) + 6 more
Date Submitted: 1/8/2007
Last Updated: 1/8/2007
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 64
Rating:

MAMA ARE YOU THERE? SHE TURNS AND LOOKS THROUGH A VACANT STARE.IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE MY OWN SWEET MOM NO LONGER RECOGNIZES ME. A VERY HOPELESS FEELING TO WATCH DADDY TRY DEALING WITH EVERYDAY LIFE WITHOUT HIS DEAR FRIEND AND WIFE.SO MANY TIMES AND THINGS TO SHARE AND SHOW HER JUST HOW MUCH WE CARE,BUT ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A VACANT STARE.

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Comments 1 to 4 of 4

Jim H. (Pecos45) - 1/9/2007 12:10 AM ET

Tough one.

IONE L. (zaneygraylady) - 1/9/2007 9:46 PM ET

I can relate. One week my mother knew me and the next week I cut my hair and she didn't know who I was.

Brenda O. (brendabreweroliver) - 6/10/2008 5:42 AM ET

Sad, very sad. Good poem. Brenda O.

Anne V. (bibliophile11) - 8/9/2008 10:14 PM ET

What about adding some more line breaks? The lines run together quickly in this format. I think you could really add to the feeling of being left and lonely by creating more space around your words. It will make your readers pause and really appreciate all the intensity you're using for this piece. Nice work. ^_^

Comments 1 to 4 of 4

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