There was a lot of pink staining (like someone spilled kool-aid on it, except no liquid damage) on the sides.  I told the person I didn't want my credit back, cause I planned on keeping the book anyway.  She wrote back and said:

"I received the book in that condition and looked into it. The rules say that page edges can have marks on them as long as they don't bleed into the text." 

Which I was pretty sure was wrong. I consulted with Live Help and they agreed with me.  So here's my dilemma (keeping in mind that I really, really hate confrontation and I'm actually nauseated right now).  Do I reply back to the sender (maybe copy/paste TG reply) just to let her know she's wrong?  Or do I let it go since I don't even want my credit back?  I'm leaning towards forgetting the whole thing, except gosh darn it, I was right!  Hmph.  Opinions, please.  :)

I would probably leave it alone.  I have responded hastily one time and I regret it now.  I'm assuming the book is readable.

Yeah, it's readable, which is also why I didn't ask for the credit back. And it's a WL book so I could easily list it as an unpostable on my profile and it would probably be easy to get rid of. I guess mostly I kind of resent her telling me that staining is ok.

Let it go.   She isn't going to agree with you so why prove you are right?   At this point that's what it's all about.   If I were you, I just wouldn't want to worry about this any longer.

Crystal,

  I really really hate confrontation, too. I would let it go.

But on the bright side, you were right, and now we know it too! At least ease your mind knowing that :)

PS, I <3 your Puss in Boots avatar.

Thanks Dawn!  He's my favorite character in the Shrek movies.  Which make Shrek 2 a little better for me than the first one (we will not discuss Shrek 3, blechy)

I guess I just needed to be talked down.  LOL  I'm much calmer now, and I think I will let it go.  I just tend to get mad when people do stuff like that to me.  But, *breathe*, in the end it's not a big deal, esp since I don't need my credit back (boy am I glad I didn't ask for it!)

I think I might have sent her an "FYI for future reference" and include the info you got from Live Help.  If she thinks it's ok then she might send another one, and that person might not be as nice as you are.    Pat

Crystal, could the pink stain have been a pink highlighter?  If there was no water damage, it probably wasn't kool-aid.  And pink highlighter on the edge of the book (I believe) is okay to post.

I would do what Pat did and gently warn her that stains aren't postable and she might start rackign up the RWPs.  I had a long time member send me a badly stained, cleaved book and said it was "ok because she got it from PBS that way".  I sent a polite PM saying that just because she was willing to accept an unpostable book without complaint doesn't mean she can pass it on to another member. 

Puss in Boots in my wall paper.

I'm with Pat and the others.  She should be told...it's not fair to the rest of us that try so hard to send out the best books.

Well, at this point I think  I would just leave it alone. However, I would have asked for my credit back to begin with. I really, really hate the mentality here (and in society in general) that "the rules don't apply to me":(

Debs, if it is pink highlighter than they took that highlighter and scribbled all up and down the side, from front to back and all across the top in a completely random manner. It's too much to be just a remainder mark.  It also doesn't seem to be "regular" enought to be highlighter.  I would assume with a highlighter you would have straight edges to the stain, even with the scribbling. I know it wasn't kool-aid, that's just what it looks like (ya know, completely random pink blotchiness).

I thought about just copying and pasting the TG pm to me with a note like: Just FYI so you don't get any more RWAP swaps about stains. I consulted with a TG about the stain and here's what she had to say.  "Message from TG..."  Maybe I'd add that she may not agree with me, but I'm just trying to save her the stress of another potential RWAP. 

But again, that's where my hatred/fear of confrontation comes in... :)

Crystal,

My advice has really nothing to do with the condition of the book. But if confronting someone makes you this uncomfortable and stressed, don't do it.  Keeping a book in bad condition is far better than getting sick over it. I am (well, was) the same way -- I would literally not be able to sleep because I kept thinking over and over about what I should write to the other person. I enjoyed a tremendous sense of relief when I simply made it my "policy" NOT to argue about things like this.

Confrontation is really overrated.  We rarely get satisfaction since the other person seldom will take responsibility or apologize. We just upset ourselves. So, my advice -- read the book, donate it to the library or post it on Title Trader (where you can describe the condition) and relax.

I know, some people feel it's our "duty" to correct wrong doers in order to protect others. But our first duty has to be to ourselves and our own health. If the other person keeps doing this, eventually she'll come across someone who enjoys confrontation!

Take it from me ... life is WAY too short to lose a minute of enjoyment worrying about this type of situation.

GrannyGamer (Barbara)

Barbara is right about your health.  What you are really talking about here is a $3.45 credit. Since you have already done what you need to do - let it go.  I assure you that should this person do this again - she'll find someone who will confront her.  It's nice for those who can do it - do it.  It does help the PBS system to educate other members in order that the quality of books stays high.  But it's not your nature.  Let it go.

Ruth

If it were me, I'd have sent a nice note linking to the PBS guidelines on staining and letting her know what I discovered.  She may very well have believed what she said and still believes it.  To me, its not a confrontation but a conversation and actually YOU doing her a favor.  I mean, she's going to continue to get RWAP on her books if she doesn't understand the rules. 

But I certainly understand letting it go, not everyone sends their unacceptable meal back either.  Tis what makes the world go round. :)

Lauren