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Topic: Need some advice

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Subject: Need some advice
Date Posted: 11/9/2008 8:30 AM ET
Member Since: 12/10/2006
Posts: 5,577
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My Best friends 16 year old nephew just came out. My best friend, me and his cusion have told him that we love him no matter what. His mother thinks this is just a faze(Spelling?) and his father, if he finds out will disown him. My friend is worried about his emotional well being as far as family not being accepting.His mom is living with friends brother, and brother wants nothing to do with it. Doesn't want it discust. The brother has 4 children and doesn't want them exposed to this life style. Anyway, my friend is looking for ways to let the nephew know, that it's alright to be who you are and love who you want to love. She's also wondering how to make the mother realize that this just isn't a faze. Any words of advice that I can pass on would be great!

 

Thanks so much.

Date Posted: 11/9/2008 8:39 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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the only advice i can give, is stick with him through thick and thin. he will have a lot to overcome. kids these days seem to think it is "cool" to be gay... i see so many young girls at my daughter's school sayin gthey are bi... and they aren't. it's just a way to fit in, or be cool, or just to plain shock folks. if this is who he is inside and out, he will need patience and a thick skin. outside of those who think it is "cool" there will be a lot of hatred, abuse, cold shoulders, heart aches, etc. he will have to endure teasin, possibly being beaten up... i went through it all... as an adult. so the best anyone can do for him is to be strong and supportive for him. be there when he will need them the most. be there when no one else is... even the kids that think it is "cool."

as for the mother, she will either accept him as whole..or she won't. nothing anyone else can say or do will change that. hopefully once she sees he is the same kid she has always loved... she will still love regardless of what she says... hopefully she will welcome him with open arms. but don't expect it to be overnight. it tooks years for my mom to come to terms with it... and now... she would kill me if i screwed up things with my girlfriend. mom loves her to death. i came out in 1999 to my mom... i have been with my girlfriend since 2003... so... 4 years of mom being distant.