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Topic: Yet another heartbreaking incident in Florida

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Subject: Yet another heartbreaking incident in Florida
Date Posted: 3/25/2008 4:36 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Date Posted: 3/26/2008 9:40 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Last Edited on: 2/3/15 5:29 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 3/27/2008 9:30 AM ET
Member Since: 2/16/2007
Posts: 269
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Thanks for sharing this Jessie.

Date Posted: 3/27/2008 9:37 AM ET
Member Since: 9/29/2005
Posts: 3,154
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You know there are times when I feel very hopeful that my son will grow up thinking, knowing and feeling that he will not be judged by the color of his skin or whom he chooses to love and then i see things like this,  and the good feeling starts to fade. 

We just have to keep fighting the fight I guess, it just so sad that we have to at all. 

Date Posted: 4/5/2008 10:13 AM ET
Member Since: 11/28/2004
Posts: 19
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I just want to say that this is really not just a LGBTQ issue.  My best friend and I have lived together for several years and have been friends for over 23 years.  Boyfriends may or may not live with us and they come and go. 

But, without forethought - if she were hurt, I would have the same problem in finding out what happened, or in making medical decisions for her.  We each have a folder that the other is to open with basic instructions if anything happens or we are (hopefully temporarily) incapacitated.  What bills are due, etc.  We've made one another beneficiaries and/or joint owners on some financial accounts so that access to funds would not be a problem.  Also, a medical power of attorney form is available from many attorneys at low cost and specifies what you want done (DNR form or whether you do want them to use extraordinary means to keep you alive).  It also allows you to pick a person (or persons) to make medical decisions for you if you're unable to do so...and you select a person to administer your estate in case of death.  Usually you pick 2 to 3 people, so that if one isn't available...

Finally, I wanted to recommend a book that we found helpful...until the laws ARE changed, you can only do the best you can to work within the existing (inadequate) system: First Comes Love, Then Comes Money: How Unmarried Couples can use Investments, Tax Planning, Insurance, & Wills to Gain Financial Protection Denied by Law, by Larry M. Elkin, CPA.  ISBN: 0385471726

Unfortunately this is an older book (1994), but I think it will help you get started thinking in the right direction.  He also wrote a book called Financial Self Defense for Unmarried Couples (1995), but I haven't read it.  Both titels are available on Amazon.

Just to give you an idea - this is from the back cover:

CPA shows you how to protect yourself and those you love from laws that discriminate brutally against unmarried couples. Learn how to: ensure that you or your partner will win custody of your children in case of death, divorce, or lawsuit; make sure that upon your death your money goes to designated heirs - not automatically to blood relatives; insist your wishes are followed when you suffer a medical emergency, because the law does not acknowledge a lover's opinion as it does that of a spouse; protect yourself from losing money you have invested with your partner in the event of a breakup; save thousands of dollars by determining whether getting married would be a bonus or a penalty at tax time; find out which states have laws that are friendly to unmarried domestic partners.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to make a new post for this title, as it really is a helpful book.


Last Edited on: 4/5/08 10:17 AM ET - Total times edited: 1