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Topic: Being Too Sensitive???

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Subject: Being Too Sensitive???
Date Posted: 9/25/2008 5:45 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2008
Posts: 27
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Hi All:  I need an honest opinion.  Someone requested a book I have posted...this is what came up as the RC: 

"As far as my paperback preferences go, nearly new or gently used please... it's a real bummer when the spine and covers are ripped or broken and pages start to fall out while reading."

Now, I have a real problem with this message.  Why would I post a book that was in such bad condition?  Is this person just assuming that most people here post damaged books?  It feels a bit insulting to me that this person feels he/she has to "remind" others that it is wrong to try and pass off unreadable material.

So....am I being too sensitive?!  I am aren't I??


Date Posted: 9/25/2008 5:53 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,225
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Yes. The RC is not directed to you specifically so don't take it personally. Most of us think it is a no-duh! issue that crappy books not be posted, unfortunately not all members are that way. Some think that as long as you can read it, they can send a book in any condition. I don't think the requester is assuming most people do that, just trying to stop the few that do from sending him/her books. The RC could have been worded a little softer, but I would say that person is getting frustrated and that is coming through in the RC. If you have a book that meets the conditions, send it and show the member that not everyone posts bad books.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 5:58 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Last Edited on: 11/8/08 8:26 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:06 PM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,805
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Yeah, a tad sensitive since it's not directly to you!    This is the way I look at it - the requestor has the right to have ANY RC they choose.   I as the sender will read them and then send or NOT as is my choice.        I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:08 PM ET
Member Since: 5/5/2008
Posts: 515
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That seems like a pretty polite RC to me. I do a double-take when I see an RC that mentions not wanting books that clearly aren't postable (I got one today where the person asked for "no excessive water damage"!), but I always figure the person has gotten a bunch of bad books in a row.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:08 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,602
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I think I would probably decline too. Both "nearly new" and "gently used" are such subjective terms. I mean, I know what *I* mean by those terms but I have no idea what SHE means.

oops, I didn't answer your question either. LOL I never take RC's personally, so I think maybe you are being a little sensitive...It wasn't directed specifically at you--but just as the requestor has a right to set whatever conditions they want, I have my right to refuse them, too.


Last Edited on: 9/25/08 6:10 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:10 PM ET
Member Since: 3/6/2006
Posts: 3,070
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Yep, too subjective, I'd decline as well.
Subject: Being Too Sensitive???
Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:40 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2008
Posts: 27
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Thanks for the reality check!  I knew I was being exceptionally touchy about it.    I guess it just never occurred to me to post a book in a condition that I myself would find objectionable!  I'm over my snit and I'll accept the request!LOL



Date Posted: 9/25/2008 6:52 PM ET
Member Since: 1/25/2007
Posts: 6,567
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I'm pretty sensitive myself and honestly I too would feel a little offended. That's just the type of person I am. I'm WAY to tender hearted. Things that are not directed at me upset me still. I mean why would they think I'd do something like that you know?

I see you have decided what to do, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone here with being touchy about thing. ; ) My husband will come home in a bad mood and I'll feel like I'm a bad wife for not having a "happy" home for him to come home to. lol

Also I'd be a little worried with them wanting "like new" books. Like someone else said what looks "like new" to me may look USED to them.

I usually contact a person when they have RC like that. I tell them something like "I accepted your request after looking the book over, but honestly I'm a little worried. The book looks great to me and I wouldn't mind getting it,  but worried that you may see something I don't. I tried to find a few flaws, but didn't see anything. I'll send the book out soon and let me know when you get it."

Most of the time they write me and tell me not to worry that it will be ok. But, I've had a few very PICKY requestors and it does upset me when someone accuses me of sending an unpostable book. There goes my tend heart again. ; )

Hope things work out well and don't feel bad about being too sensitive. It just shows we care even though we may CARE too much. lol

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 8:33 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2007
Posts: 1,051
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I wouldn't be offended, and would decline. It's all about a book. There's bigger fish to fry.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 8:38 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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I've seen RCs that struck me as offensive, but not that one. Still, "nearly new" is pretty subjective and I might decline on that account.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 9:33 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I wouldn't be offended but I would decline.  It's not directed at you personally.  But it does sound like this person would be picky.  I would worry that they would find one minor flaw and mark a perfectly postable book as RWP.  I would decline with a polite "my book meets PBS guidelines but the requestor sounds like they want a new book"  or something like that.  But don't take it personally. Everyone that person orders a book from is getting that RC not just you.

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 10:58 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2007
Posts: 2,550
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Don't let it bother you!.  While that RC is, to me, kind of subjective, I think its worded pretty nicely!  It sounds to me like someone has had a run of bad books! 

Be as sensitive as you want!!     ')

Date Posted: 9/25/2008 11:06 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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Anita, when you see RCs like this, just try to keep in mind that the person who wrote this has had problems in the past with getting books in that condition.  99.9% of the time the reason members have RCs that mention books that are falling apart, ripped covers and broken spines is because they've gotten books in this condition from other members.

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 7:18 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2007
Posts: 663
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Are you too sensitive? Yes and no. It's not unusual for me to have the same reaction when I read some RCs. This is one I received recently:

"Prefer books in good condition and not bent chewed up or water stained and pages missing. Books should be treated with much respect."

My first thought was, what about me? Don't I deserve some respect, too? But then I calmed down, accepted the RC, and mailed the book. I received a very nice thank you message yesterday, which made me glad that I ignored my first reaction.