I'm looking for some well written gay sci-fi/fantasy for a friend for xmas, any suggestions?

Thanks in advance!  :)

China Mountain Zhang by Maureen McHugh

Swordpoint by Ellen Kushner

the 4th book in the Ukiah Oregon series by Wen Spencer,  Dog Warrior (needs the previous books though)

You are asking about men, right? 

I think maybe M John Harrison?  He's gotten the Tiptree award at least.

I know Marion Zimmer Bradley wrote a gay circus novel way back in the 70's.  The Catch Trap. 

Some of Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar are.

I know of one openly gay SF writer, but he writes about straight men.

Carnival by Elizabeth Bear.  Does it have a sequel?

Thanks!  That's a great starting place!  :)

And yes, I'm mostly asking about men, but if there's some outstanding sci-fi/fantasy written about women it wouldn't be turned down.

http://www.lambdaliterary.org/awards/previous_winners/paw_2004_2005.html

http://www.lambdaliterary.org/awards/current_winners-2007.html

There are links from these to other years.

Lambda awards are often small press., which can be harder to find.   The other post were all mass market releases. 

http://www.spectrumawards.org/

Easier to navigate than Lambda site.

Lynne Flewelling's Nightrunner series is good.

I would highly recommend Tangle, a collection of short stories edited by Nicole Kimberling. 

http://www.blindeyebooks.com/tangle.html

and

The God Eaters, by Jesse Hajicek

It can be read in its entirety for free at the author's site:

http://chartreuse.studiowhippingboy.com/g_e_index.html

but it's definitely worth buying your own copy!

Other worthwhile reads are:

Expendable - James Alan Gardner

Orphan's Quest - Pat Nelson Childs

Nightrunner series - Lynn Flewelling

Warchild, Burndive, Cagebird - Karin Lowachee

Thanks everyone for all the great suggestions so far!  Please do keep them coming, I've still got xmas and a birthday to shop for!  :) 

I first encountered gay/lesbian characters in SF/Fantasy in Marion Zimmer Bradley's novels, especially Darkover novels. I know some people have criticized her because they think she didn't go fair enough in accepting homosexuality because her characters tended to be a bit angsty about it, but that rather appealed to me as a teenager. In particular, The Forbidden Tower and The Heritage of Hastur have men who have relationships with other men (though not exclusivevly), and the three Renunciate books (The Shattered Chain, Thendara House, and The City of Sorcery) feature lesbians. She also has a collection of short stories titled Lythande featuring a woman who must disguise herself as a man and has relationships with women -- at least, I think it's implied but not ever made explicit, and it might only be that she is attracted to other women but cannot act on that attraction because she has to maintain her male disguise. I'm not sure. It's been a while.

Other than that, Sarah Monette's series starting with Melusine features a gay male protagonist; her novel A Companion to Wolves with Elizabeth Bear has a society that relies on men having sex with other men (it's companion animal fantasy, and all the humans in the wolf pack are men, but unlike Anne McCaffrey, who skirted the issue, the logical conclusion is brought to the forefront of the story).

And while it's never made the primary focus of any of the novels, Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Legacy series features the following religious credo: Love as thou wilt. Which means, anything done in love is sacred, so in Terre d'Ange at least all forms of relationships are accepted. The main character in the first three, Phedre, is raised to please both men and women in the combination brothel/temple that is Cereus House, and while her love interest for the series is a man, she is very strongly drawn to Melisande and has two sexual encounters with her. I couldn't say for sure, but I think that there are actually more sex scenes with female patrons than male patrons in the novels.

And still on Jacqueline Carey, her new novel Santa Olivia, which is her first foray into sci-fi, features a lesbian protagonist.

That's all I've got for now.

I have the book Echelons End: Planet Fall on my shelf. It is the third in a gay sci fi series. There is a pretty good review and description on Amazon about it. You might check that out.

That's great!  Thanks eveyone, and I continue to be interested in the subject - Christmas and birthdays happen at least twice every year!    :)

My favorite SF author is Melissa Scott. I love her books for their outstanding stories and writing, but it also happens to be true that they all contain gay and/or lesbian characters. Indeed, you'll be hard pressed to find a definitively heterosexual character in them. (There is one, but she took me a while to find.)

When I met Melissa, she told me that after she'd published her first SF novel, she was on a panel discussion at an SF convention and mentioned something about her lead character being a lesbian. An audience member became outraged and demanded that the character couldn't possibly be a lesbian, to which Melissa responded that as the author she would know... but the audience member refused to believe it and was very angry about it. Melissa explained that ever since then, she insists on writing in a sex scene for her gay characters in every book, just so nobody can claim they're straight! :-)

Anyway, while I recommend all of her books, my favorite is Dreaming Metal. Another standout is Burning Bright. 

There is a new blog aimed at queer SciFi.  The Outer Alliance.  Just starting.   Lots of writers listed as members.

http://outeralliance.wordpress.com/

ETA new link feature.  Woo.

ETA2   How about this to cut and paste

www.outeralliance.wordpress.com

Thanks!  :)

I always love a good sci fi romance and some of the best come from J.L. Langley in my opinion. I have all but... 2 of her books.

Without Reservations is probably my favorite. Gay werewolves - does it get any better? And her werewolves are the good kind... ya know the kind that shift into actual wolf form on the full moon rather than a hairy, ugly, half wolf/half man

With Caution is another great one from the same universe as Without Reservations but it's a separate story and you don't have to read the first one at all to follow this one. Different characters, different relationship

Langley also has two other sci fi romances that I haven't read yet if your friend is more into the sci fi military type rather than mystical creatures

On the lighter side of scifi & erotica:

My Fair Captain Author: J. L. Langley
The Englor Affair Author: J. L. Langley
Hot Cargo Author: Nicki Bennett, Ariel Tachna
Vintage Bujold Ethan of Athos Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

ETA:  Your siggy line mentions fantasty, these come well recommended:
Cethe by Becca Abbot
The Archer's Heart by Astrid Amara