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Topic: Block a sender

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Subject: Block a sender
Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:02 PM ET
Member Since: 6/28/2007
Posts: 1
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I have been a very loyal user/promoter of PBS.  I tell everyone about it and think it's awesome!!!  I've had hundreds of transactions with wonderful people and have been extremely satisfied with the PBS community.

I am a very responsible sender, promptly mailing, recording received books, returning a credit when a book arrived poorly, etc.

I always record the received data into the system (weight, postmark, cost, etc) since that helps PBS with information and ensures the sender gets thier credit.  IF I have some connection to the senders location, I might add a note, but if I'm in a hurry, I may leave this part blank.  Sometimes I add "Thanks" but have gotten in the habit of leaving this blank unless I have something more substantial to say.

Recently, I recieved a VERY rude email from a sender beratting me for not saying "Thanks" when I received her book.  She even added that due to my rudeness, she will Block me as a sender/receiver.   I was appalled by her judgemental, aggressive, and offensive email.

Does anyone know:

1) Can you block senders or recievers?  I found the buddy function, but I'm sure she doesn't want to be my buddy! :)

2) Thoughts on adding "thanks"?  Of course it's polite, but necessary?  Worthy of blocking someone when left off?

3) Should I write her back?  I've thought of many responses but none I feel good about sending yet :)  May have to cool down a bit more first!

 

"Thanks" for reading :)

 



Last Edited on: 8/17/09 1:37 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:05 PM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2008
Posts: 2,139
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There's no way to block anyone on PBS. The idiots who put that are trying to be petty but don't realize how dumb they come off. Most of PBS is done by the FIFO- you have no idea who you're ordering from. You've done nothing wrong in any of this and please continue to be a great PBS person. If you *really* want to get into the Thanks issue, go back and read over some of the long, involved threads about it. People probably won't get too much into it now b/c it's been hashed out so much. I don't write back thanks and prefer not to get them. I would NEVER chastise anyone for not thanking me. I mean, you paid her a credit, she's NOT doing you a favor. Don't write back, just move on and make some more book requests, read the forums, enjoy yourself because PBS is the best and hopefully members like her will weed herself out (the whole Darwin thing).

ETA: If her email to you was truly abusive and rude, feel free to report her to PBS. She's "requiring" you to do something that's not in the rules, and the PBS runners will not look too kindly on that, nor will they like her poor attitude.



Last Edited on: 8/17/09 1:06 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:11 PM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2007
Posts: 2,728
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1) No, you cannot block senders or receivers.  Some people may add people they want to "block" to their buddy list and then tag them, but otherwise there is no way through the system to block others.  Some just keep a list of names of people they don't want to trade with again.

2) Opinions vary widely on this- some are very passionate about the issue (such as the person you unfortunately got).  Personally, I don't care one way or the other.  I don't mind if someone thanks me, but I'm not offended when they don't either.  I look at it as a business transaction, not a personal favor.

3) I would not write her back, but I would forward the PM to the site administrators via the Contact Us link, because abusive PMs are against site rules.  Maybe this person was just having a bad day, but they may just be really unbalanced, and I would not want to engage someone like that.  Forward on the message and let them handle it.

Sorry you were the recipient of such a rude response.  That PM says a lot more about the sender than it does about you though, so just try to keep in mind that it is their problem, not yours.  You did nothing wrong.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:16 PM ET
Member Since: 5/6/2008
Posts: 5,131
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I always say thanks...but never expect someone else to do it. I figure most people have better things to do.

Report her email if you want, but don't lower yourself by responding. This person is not worth it.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:27 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2007
Posts: 2,532
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What a jerk.  Too bad we couldnt all block this sender. 

I would not respond, not worth the time.  Or send it into TPTB. 

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:35 PM ET
Member Since: 2/23/2009
Posts: 112
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Hi Christine,

   I am so sorry you encountered a rude person.  As others have posted ,the issue of saying thanks has been discussed extensively, with people on both sides of the fence.  I, personally, always say thanks, but that's just me.    I have gotten several "thanks', but also plenty where the sender said nothing.  I think the first time I didn't get a "thanks" I was a little surprised, but  certainly didn't get in a snit about it and send a PM complaining.    However I still send them a PM  saying I am glad the book got to them safely and I thank them for my  credit  just like I do the people who did say thanks.    I'm just one of those people who always says  thanks I guess.  It seems like on Swapacd, though, that hardly anyone says thanks.  It is rare that a sender ever thanks me on that site. 

   There is still no excuse for that other member berating you.  Since that section is totally optional you were completely in the right.  Please don't let that one incident mar your perception of the site.   Just continue to do what you feel comfortable with and let her rudeness go.

Geri (geejay) -
Date Posted: 8/17/2009 1:48 PM ET
Member Since: 9/2/2008
Posts: 9,088
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Hi Christine,

I'm with the others.  I'd notify PBS about the rude PM.  Thanks are not required.  I try to say thanks but sometime life gets in the way and I'm lucky to mark the book received.  Sometime I'll write a little note beyond thanks but not often.

The first time I didn't get a thanks I was surprised.  Then I saw all the posts from people who didn't appreciate the "thanks" note.  Others didn't care one way or the other

I just did a quick through the Help Docs and couldn't find anyything about it.  Maybe I didn't search long or hard enough.

The big thing here is the rude PM - now that's not allowed.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 2:10 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
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I know I've only been around here a few months, but Seriously?!?!  There have been whole threads devoted to whether or not people say Thanks?!?!  And people get in a snit over it??!!  I just have so many more snit-worthy things in my life...even in my PBS-life...

I guess I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I always say Thanks.  I'm just a thank-er...I do it all day at work. But I hate getting them.  I'm so excited when I see that I have an unread PM because it could be a great deal, or an invitation to a cool swap...then when I find out it's just a thank you, I'm disappointed LOL!   But I do like getting Thank you's that include a bit about why the sender liked the book.  I guess that's why I have a hard time understanding why people get enraged over this issue, when I am so ambivalent about it.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 2:22 PM ET
Member Since: 4/13/2009
Posts: 285
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Wow, thanks for sharing this, because it never occured to me that I might be offending folks by failing to thank them about a routine transaction. 

I'm a person who is (very mildly) annoyed about getting a PM that says nothing but "thanks" - I've already gotten a notice that the book got there, so why do I need to read another notice that just says thanks?    I seem to get them maybe half the time -  I would have never believed that failing to give them would cause anyone distress.  (For those who are into Myers-Briggs, yes, I'm a very strong "T").

I have sent a thank you note on occasion, but only when there was something special about the transaction (where the sender had wrapped the book with extra care, or added a bookmark, or sent a like-new book),  I guess now I'll start sending them routinuely, because I would rather mildly annoy people like me than hurt the feelings of those who like getting them. 

But that is NO excuse for the sender to be so rude.  I agree with the others' advice to ignore the PM and/or forward it to PBS.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 2:38 PM ET
Member Since: 11/25/2007
Posts: 87
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I agree with Tracy, I get kinda annoyed when I get an email that just says thanks - it makes me paranoid that the book didn't get there in good shape/got damaged, or that I've screwed up.

I'd report the person to PBS.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 3:35 PM ET
Member Since: 6/13/2009
Posts: 433
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I'm with Christa and Tracy on this.

I only send a note if there was something special about the transaction.

Sometimes, I've gotten 'thanks' and sometimes a note - it doesn't bother me either way.  I'm gald that I recieved the book or that my sent book was marked recieved. 

No reason to be rude though.

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 4:10 PM ET
Member Since: 1/4/2009
Posts: 97
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wow how rude-I guess I didn't realize that someone could get that mad about not getting a thanks for sending a book.

I am with Stephanie when I see that I have a PM-I worry that someone is complaining which I shouldn't be since I review every book again before I send it out.  Report the PM tp PBS

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 4:22 PM ET
Member Since: 7/21/2008
Posts: 29
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I have to jump on the bandwagon and agree with everyone else, don't dignify the complaint with a response - except to let TPTB know about it.  I try and say thanks every time, but to be honest only since it is part of the "book received" process.  I always forgot before.  I don't really care either way about getting a thanks, it is nice but not crucial.

It is ironic that someone chose to complain about what they consider bad behavior in that manner - I guess it falls under the "do as I say and not as I do" category. 

Kathy

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 4:40 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,597
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I think it is rather hilarious that she sent you a very rude PM to berate you for your (so-called) rudeness! My goodness, some people's kids!

I don't expect thank yous and I never send them unless there is something special about the book or if it's someone I "know" from the forums and have something to say besides "thanks."

Cheryl

Date Posted: 8/17/2009 4:57 PM ET
Member Since: 7/10/2007
Posts: 170
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If I recall, the big deal was that alot of people were upset about "thanks" PM's since they had to log onto PBS to view them. All you osed to get was an enmail saying you had a PM, not thinkg more to the content. Now that you can see the body of a PM in your email, the " anti-thankers" should be a little more relaxed.

Me personally, I only thank if the book was really well wrapped,or to comment on the great condition ( waited almost 2 years for a cookbook, then just got it in brand- new never even opened!). I guess that makes me a bad person to some. oh well. Maybe my mother just never taught me manners :)

Date Posted: 8/18/2009 12:42 PM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2008
Posts: 129
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I don't need to log into PBS to read my PMs unless they are long.  In the email notifiying me of the PM, I also get the text of the PM.  Since I have this, I rarely read the PMs online.

Myself, I sometimes send "thanks" and sometimes do not.  If it is a particularly nice book or well wrapped, etc, I do. 

Date Posted: 8/18/2009 12:46 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I never say thanks either unless they gave me a deal, posted WL books directly to me or sent me a freebie unpostable WL book.  I couldn't care less if I got a thank you or not.  The credit I got for the book order is enough. 

So don't feel guilty-this person is overreacting. 

Date Posted: 8/18/2009 3:15 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2007
Posts: 1,646
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Personally, I don't usually say thanks for mailing the book unless the person has done something special like a 3 for 2 deal or freebieor posted a book to my WL.  Mailing books promptly when they are requested is something you're supposed to do as a condition of membership in PBS.  I think a thank-you may be a nice touch, but is not necessary.   In fact, I get so many emails that it's sometimes slightly irritating when i get emails that just say 'thank you" for mailing the book since I have to then log into PBS to read an email that doesn't really require my attention. 

Unfortunately, there's no way to block a sender or I would have blocked the people who send me unpostable books and refused to refund the credit. 

That someone would harshly berate you for not saying "thank-you" is beyond the pale, I think.  What you can do, is keep the email in your PBS mailbox and create a special tag that says "do not order."  I wouldn't dignify this nasty person with a response.

Ronda (RONDA) - ,
Date Posted: 8/18/2009 3:47 PM ET
Member Since: 3/3/2009
Posts: 415
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You could cancel the transaction if you notice it is a person you don't want to deal with.  Just need to keep a Thanks / No Thanks list. 

My guess would be I got about 10 thanks out of about 50 transactions.  That would be a lot of people I would have to strike from my trading list. 

My favorite is when a person gets multiple books from me and fills the thanks in on each one, so I get multiple PMs about it.  No biggie, just kind of funny. 

Date Posted: 8/18/2009 5:05 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2005
Posts: 352
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I usually say thanks, but just a plain, puny "thanks" seems inadequate so I usually address the person by his/her first name and say something like "thanks so much for the book" and sign my first name.

And I don't mind if recipients don't thank me.  I must say though that I recently  mailed a excellent-condition, heavy, hardback book (which I very carefully wrapped) to a member who didn't thank me when she received it.  I admit I did feel a little disappointed because it was a heavily wishlisted book, and I spent a bunch on postage through PBS postage to send it to her.  But, it goes without saying, that I would never say anything to the sender who didn't thank me for my efforts.