I pmed a member about some books posted on her shelf that I was interested in getting for my 8 yr old niece. we have been going back and forth for a few days now in  pm's about this. i pm'ed them because i have a limited number of credits right now and was hoping they would say yes to a deal. I would love people's advice on the situation. here are the pm's.

Mine

Hi Member,

I was looking at your shelf and found 5 books that i would love to get for my niece for her summer reading pile. i was wondering if you would be willing to do 3 credits for all five of them deal. please let me know thanks.

Molly

the books i am interested in are:

Happy New Year Julie 
Julie Tells Her Story 
Meet Marie Grace
Meet Rebecca
Rani In The Mermaid Lagoon

Their Reply:

I also have Meet Julie. It's just not listed. If you want that one, let me know. I'd do 6 books for 4 credits.

Molly's reply:

she has already read meet julie and i have it posted to my bookshelf so i would just like the 5 please. just let me know what kind of deal and i'll order the books from your shelf. thanks.

their 3rd reply:

Would you be willing to request all four American girl books, and I'll send Rani in the Mermaid lagoon along with the Wellspring of Magic, Sheltie the Shetland Pony and a Terrier in the Tinsel?

Thanks!

Molly's reply:

i really just want the 5 books i meantioned please.

Their 4th reply:

Would 4 for 5 work? If so, please request 4 of them and I'll send all 5.

Thanks!
 

Molly' Reply

i only have 3 credits and no money in my budget to purchase any at this time so i can only offer 3 credits. sorry.

their 5th reply

Well, I don't have many credits either and my kids' request list is long...

How about pick three American Girl books and I'll include Rani for free.

Molly's reply

i just talked to my niece and asked her if she could choose only 4 of the 5 titles i had asked about from you she would like the 4 american girl titles and could do without the disney book. would it possible for me to order 3 of the american girls books and get the 4th one as a freebie? please let me know. thanks.

their 6th reply

Ok, I talked with my girls and looked at your bookshelf. I can do all 5 for 3 credits...would you be willing to do Meet Felicity, Meet Samantha, and Hoot for 2 credits? please request the books and i'll send.

Molly's Reply

okay i ordered 3 of the books.

i am in the process of cleaning out excess stuff in my home  so i need some time to find the mentioned books. i cleaned out a lot of books a few months ago and have to see if i still have the books you mentioned. 

their 7th reply

Are you willing to do the 3 for 2 I mentioned? if so i'll send the books you want.

 so my question is what can i do. it seems to me like they agreed to the deal which they didn't have to and are now saying that unless i send them books in a deal they will not send the books i asked about even though i had already ordered 3 of them with credits. what would you do?

I'm looking at the place where she said, "I can do all 5 for 3 credits...would you be willing to do Meet Felicity, Meet Samantha, and Hoot for 2 credits? please request the books and i'll send"

It looks as if she first agreed to do the 5 for 3, but then, perhaps after looking at the books she could find, asked if you would do 3 for 2.  You responded to her okay on the 5 for 3, but didn't say no to the 3 for 2.  She's looking through her books and is hoping you'll want the books she's actually finding in the boxes rather than the ones you requested.

My suggestion would be to send another note saying something like, "Thanks so much for looking!  I'm cancelling the three books I ordered (for now) so that if you don't find them, my orders won't be passed on to other members as single orders.  If you find the books soon, please let me know!"  I might wait a week, but then would feel free to order them from somewhere else, and I'd shoot her a  nice PM if I did order them from another member.

Molly, I would take a step back and regroup.  

I would cancel the order of 3 books.  I would see if I still have the books they want.  Then I would pm them telling them I cancelled while I look for the books and will get back with them.    I would promptly search for the books and get back to them quick.  

Unless she's already accepted the 3 books you ordered, I'd probably just cancel the order entirely.  You are correct that she didn't have to accept the book deal, but it sounds like she is only wanting to do it if you give her a deal too.

I would just back out & maybe go to the Book Bazaar & ask around to see if anyone else is willing to do a deal for you on books you want.  You never know, someone else may be willing to give you a better deal than you were asking that member for.

After reading over your messages, I am extremely confused over what was agreed upon and what wasn't... and it seemed like you are too. I would cancel the books you ordered until you have exact clarification of what is going on in this trade.

In general, when I decided that sometimes I was going to ask people for deals, I also decided that I was going to say OK if people asked me for deals as well. (Doesn't have to be the same people).

So, I'm not sure if the issue is that you don't want to do a deal in return or if you can't find the books, but if it was me, I would try to find the books and do the deal.

Is it particularly nice that she wants an exact tit-for-tat? Perhaps not, but on the other hand, apparently you can both walk away from the deal happy.

In any case, I am not sure you have any recourse here to force her to send the books ... deals are outside the purview of PBS and the only regulations are that you come up with an equitable arrangement between yourselves, and then honor the agreement made. But even with regular credit orders, a sender can change their mind at the last minute, and so can someone sending a deal.

I think since you asked her for a deal it is totally fine that she asked you for a deal too.  If someone asked me for a deal then wouldn't give me a deal on their shelf I'd not want to deal with them. I'd go find the books posted on my bookshelf and give her the deal.

Wow Molly! You are one Patient lady. I'd have bailed at the third exchange. I'd follow Patty's suggestion. This seems likely to keep getting complicated. 

why oh why is she listing books she doesn't even know if she still has?????

Ok, I talked with my girls and looked at your bookshelf. I can do all 5 for 3 credits...would you be willing to do Meet Felicity, Meet Samantha, and Hoot for 2 credits? please request the books and i'll send.

my Reply 

okay i ordered 3 of the books.

IMO, it probably looks to the other member like you agreed to the reciprocating deal, it does to me. She asked the question and your next reply was okay and then you requested the books (not that you requested the books and then the reciprocal deal was put forth as a deal-breaker).

Your choices appear to leave the requests out there and see if they follow through with the deal to you even if you don't follow through with the deal to them and risk just getting the 3 books for 3 credits; find the books they've asked for and give them the deal they've asked for; or cancel the books you've requested and walk away from the deal.

no the books meet felicity meet samantha  and hoot are the titles she asked me for. i have been cleaning out and donating books in the last few weeks/months because i had over 2,000 posted on my shelf. i needed to make some space so i donated a few boxes to a local elementary school and some to my local library as well as other places. i said i don't know if i still have them because in my rush to clean my books out i don't know if i forget to take them off my shelf. i cleared out  over 1,000 books. and i am still going through the rest. i just don't want to say for sure i have them and then come to find they are ones i got rid of and forget to delete/remove from my shelf.

Molly, I misread your original post.  So she is wanting to order some books from you, as well, as is asking you for a deal?  Sounds like a reasonable request.  Hopefully you can get back to her in the next day or two.

I'm with Heidi. It was little hard to keep up with who said what. I'd lay down my bottom line of what I want and what I'm offering and ask if it's acceptable, if not just move on. I've done a lot of deals in the Bazaar and there has never been a lot of negotiation involved, one or two messages usually takes care of it. 

I'd search through my books and see if I had what she wants and let her know one way or the other.  At that time I'd also ask if she wants to go through with her deal or not.  In the future, I'd keep my books in some type of order so they're easy to find.  I put mine in alphabetical order by author, so that all series books are together.  I have several boxes of books, but they're always easy to find.  Good luck!

I think if shes giving you a deal , it would be nice to give her one as well.  I would never ask someone for a deal and then say no to their asking for one.