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Topic: called "petty" for wanting credit back

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Subject: called "petty" for wanting credit back
Date Posted: 6/18/2008 3:18 AM ET
Member Since: 6/16/2005
Posts: 103
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I received a book with obvious water damage and emailed the sender for my credit back citing its unpostable condition. The sender said they received it that way from another PBSer and that I was being petty wanting my credit back!  I replied that it wasn't petty, it was the rules-no water damage, and that they should have done the same thing when they received it in that state. I feel like more and more people either don't read, or worse, don't bother to follow the rules-just pass the bad book along to the next person. Why should I spend a credit for a book I'm going to end up unable to swap to get a credit back? The petty adjective really irked me!

T. -
Date Posted: 6/18/2008 6:11 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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I would be irked too, Wendy!  It is definitely NOT petty.  I could think of a few adjectives to describe someone who sends out water damaged books and thinks that is is A-OK.  

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 7:09 AM ET
Member Since: 12/19/2005
Posts: 5,091
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You're not petty, you are just following the site's rules.  Mark the transaction as not resolved and bring the PM to the attention of the PBS team.  They should know about things like that.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 9:03 AM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2007
Posts: 2,690
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on one like this I would PM the person and let them know you are going to mark it "Not Resolved" and you will forward their PM to TPTB since they won't return the credit and called you petty...give it a little time 24-48 hours and then do it but, I've found that usually (not always) spurs them on to do the right thing.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 9:20 AM ET
Member Since: 6/4/2007
Posts: 2,941
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I've heard this excuse before.  I had one so bad the pages were turning black on the bottom two thirds and not only was that the way they supposedly got it and accepted it but they "found it to be in highly readable condition for a USED book" as if somehow "used book" and "garbage" are equal concepts.  Calling you names is just the best defense they have for being caught breaking the rules.  I agree with Christy, that you should go to the transaction archive and with the "was this problem resolved?" button select No the requester refused to resolve the problem.  The purpose of the guidelines is to make sure you get books that you can repost for a credit so that the Swap can continue if that's what you choose.  Leaving you no choice just because you happen to believe in the rules violates the spirit of the entire site. 

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:24 AM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2005
Posts: 7,977
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Last Edited on: 5/17/10 9:23 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:54 AM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2007
Posts: 16
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"The sender said they received it that way from another PBSer and that I was being petty wanting my credit back!" Wow, this is what I heard yesterday... instead of 'petty' though I was accused of lying! Hugs to you Wendy! You did the right thing :)

Last Edited on: 6/18/08 10:54 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/18/2008 11:36 AM ET
Member Since: 9/24/2007
Posts: 453
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I'm a conflict avoider, but I did buck up recently and mark a water damaged book rwap and ask for my credit back. 

Why?  Because those are the rules and if you don't call people on it they will keep doing it.  If people don't want to follow the rules then they have a number of other less strict sites they are welcome to post books on.

BTW, I was very polite in my pm and said I was sure it was a simple mistake.  The sender did return my credit, though didn't return the pm, which judging by what some people get might be a good thing!

If I goof up and send a bad one (can happen to anyone!) accidentally then I definately want the chance to make it right.

You did the right thing. 


Date Posted: 6/18/2008 1:49 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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I'm sorry you had such a negative experience.  I hope you did report the PMs to the site owners, as Sara is right in stating: Because those are the rules and if you don't call people on it they will keep doing it.

Hang in there.  The rest of us don't think you're petty :-)



Date Posted: 6/18/2008 2:12 PM ET
Member Since: 7/5/2007
Posts: 2,159
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I had someone tell me they checked with R&R to make sure I didn't have a history of "damaging books to request the credit back" on them.

No... I just realized that if I'm going to be reposting books, they better arrive in repostable condition (barring miscellaneous acts of USPS during transit).  Telling me that they arrived like that when you got them doesn't alleviate you of the responsibility to ensure you're posting a book that adheres to the posting guidelines.  I've found damage to some that I didn't catch when I marked them received.  They're now sitting in my unpostables pile.

It's a used book site, yeah.  I get the used part.  But the site has posting guidelines that apply to everyone, not just the people who are responsible to follow them. 

I hate conflict too, but some people see that little bit of water damage and think that it's unnoticeable enough to get away with.  I actually have two books that I received early on that absolutely should NOT have been posted on the side... mildew!  But I was young and unexperienced, excited to receive books.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 3:36 PM ET
Member Since: 11/29/2006
Posts: 1,676
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I had someone tell me they checked with R&R to make sure I didn't have a history of "damaging books to request the credit back" on them.

Are you serious!?  That's just nuts.  I can't believe the excuses people will come up with to try NOT to take responsibility for their own actions.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 3:53 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
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That is nuts but I must say that when I got three water damaged books in a 30 day period and marked them all RWAP I worried that it would look bad on me that I was getting all these damaged books.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 5:36 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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I gave someone a nuetral feedback on BOB once because one of the books was water damaged. I was called petty and accused of damaging the book myself. (why I would do that is beyond me) I didnt initiate the conversation she saw that I had marked it as nuetral and commenced to browbeating me. I eventually told her that if she continued to pm me about it I would report her to TPTB and she stopped. Just amazed me that I wasnt the one to contact her she contacted me but kept saying i was being petty and that I wanted a credit. I never asked for a credit I never asked for anything. Well except to be left alone.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 5:50 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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Considering all the really bad weather in the country right now - I imagine there will be some weather related damaged books coming for most of us.  Too bad.  The people who keep on circulating the bad condition books -whatever the damage might be - don't seem to realize that the system is set up to be self-regulating and to "shed" the bad books as they age and wear down while in circulation.  No book lasts forever...especially in a circualting system. The public library cuts out their books in way less bad condition than ones I've seen here. Sometimes I wonder why the library bothers to buy paperbacks in the first place because they are so susceptable to damage.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 6:30 PM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2006
Posts: 9,333
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People who are coming from sites where you list the condition of your book, and choose a price, don't always immediately understand the importance of the PBS Book Condition Guidelines.  The ONLY way FIFO (first in/first out) can work -- and it's such a great system -- is if we all agree to a certain minimum book condition.  The "no water damage" rule is part of that minimum.  That way, as long as I'm okay with the minimum PBS condition*, I can just order a book without having to wade through a bunch of descriptions, and I know it's going to cost me exactly one credit.  And whoever has been waiting longest to mail that particular book gets to do so.  The system hinges on our mutual agreement to abide by the conditions, which is why it's vital (not at all petty) to mark a damaged book "received with a problem."  Without that option, I don't see how the system would work at all. 

My daughter thinks everyone has a superpower.  My husband's is the ability to intuit solutions to electrical & mechanical problems.  My brother's is the magic ability to grab the check when we go out for dinner.  And maybe mine is to avoid conflict.  But this is so important that I just close my eyes and do it.

Given that, I also understand that someone who doesn't "get" the system yet may be dealing with hurt feelings when she's wrapped up a book she loves -- ah, yes, water damage... remember that great canoe trip? and ink marks all over the pages... wasn't Junior cute at that age?... -- only to find that it is not acceptable.  So, like Sara said, I strive to be as friendly and gentle as possible in my PM.  But I always PM.

*If I'm not okay with the minimum, I can add Requestor Conditions

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 6:45 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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Great post, Patty P.  You said what I feel.  You must be one of the really great members here and that's why I'm comfortable here.  I'm like a kid in the candy store and pockets full of money.   I currently have sent out all pending books, and I keep checking in to see if anyone wants more - and they don't - yet.   I have a TBR pile that would reach to the ceiling twice if I could stack them that way so getting more books probably isn't wise.  I'd be reading except my eyes are giving me allergy trouble, and I can read the computer posts quickly unlike trying to read a book.  Otherwise - my eyes are like trying to see through a waterfall.  I'm wiping my eyes after reading every post.  I hope this stops soon!  ;D

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:18 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,497
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They're trying to justify sending you a water damaged book by calling you petty for wanting the credit back.  If they can blame you, then they don't have to admit they made a mistake and shouldn't have posted the book.

Don't let the sender make you feel bad at all.  Everyone should mark damaged books RWAP and request their credit back.  Maybe then everyone would get the idea that books not meeting the posting guidelines shouldn't be posted!

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:40 PM ET
Member Since: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,756
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I hate to seem dumb but I don't know what BOB is or where you rate people. Do they get a copy of it if you rate them?


Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:43 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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BOB=box of books. Since there are no credits involved in box of books theres a rating system on it and yss they can see the rating you give them.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 10:55 PM ET
Member Since: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,756
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Thanks Chris I had just thought about what BOB meant and was coming back to say I really did know but you beat me to it with your fast answer. I guess I will know who to ask a question of if I'm in a real hurry.

Date Posted: 6/18/2008 11:19 PM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2008
Posts: 91
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Wendy, you are NOT petty! If she refuses to follow the basic PBS guidelines by not posting water-damaged books,  then she is the one being petty and nasty about your request for a credit refund. Just because she got the book from another PBSer doesn't mean it's ok to put it back into the system.

I agree with the others- she is trying to distract you from the main issue by calling you names. Please do mark the transaction as unresolved and forward the PMs to the powers that be.

Date Posted: 6/21/2008 6:03 PM ET
Member Since: 8/31/2007
Posts: 29
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I was so glad to find this forum.  Until recently I have received most books in very good condition...then I received two books in one week that were terrible...one had a broken binding, at least part of which was probably caused by the frontispiece as well as the last page have been ripped out,  one corner of cover (hardback) was chewed away, etc.  The paperback had definite water damage, smelled musty and is very marked-up.  Needless to say, will be unable to swap.  I did not send message to sender because I did not know what kind of response I would get and do not like confrontations (so I'm a coward, what can I say, but I know some people can be very rude and vindictive).  Just like to know how others handle this kind of situation.

Date Posted: 6/21/2008 6:29 PM ET
Member Since: 8/2/2005
Posts: 405
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Wendy it certainly isn't petty of you to expect other members to follow the same basic rules all PBS members must follow. I know it's the devil in me, but I would have PM'd them back to tell them no, I'm not being petty, it's *you* who are being irresponsible and rude.

Why do folks feel that it's okay to pass the buck when they get a damaged book? I just cannot how folks can be so rude and discourteous to their fellow book lovers. *shakes head in disgust*


Date Posted: 6/21/2008 7:44 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2007
Posts: 1,305
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It would be nice if everyone would follow the rules, here and in life in general. People think rules only apply to others, never them and if you call them on it then you are the one who is wrong. It's getting bad all over. Follow the dang rules people and if you break them don't blame someone else!!!!

Date Posted: 6/21/2008 10:55 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
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I would check to see if that book actually did get to the sender via a swap on here. I have not got alot of books from here compared to others, but so far I have had no issues with condition of the actual book, just the wrapping paper problems.

It is the easiest thing to say, "oh it came like that" then to own up and say you broke the rules.. Its the whole, if they can do it, so can I mentallity. 

As for libraries and paperbacks, they buy them because they are alot cheaper then hardbacks and some books only come in paperback.  They do get trashed but they are easier to replace and usually require less processing.