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Topic: catch more flies with honey

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Subject: catch more flies with honey
Date Posted: 9/26/2008 2:01 AM ET
Member Since: 8/3/2006
Posts: 3
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I think some people need to remember that.. I have a 100% satisfaction rate with the books I send out.. I always am careful to send books in condition I would want to receive them in and I always check to make sure nothing is wrong before I package them up.  I recently sent one that I flipped thru not just to check but I was also trying to decide if I wanted to post it b/c it hadn't been read yet and it was purchased by me brand-new.  It was in like-new condition before it left my hands.. Well I packaged it up and sent it with pbs postage (as I do all the time because I live in the country and don't always feel like running to the post office).  I got a pm from the receiver that basically accused me of using that form of postage because she felt I knew the book was damaged and wanted automatic credit rather than waiting for her to click that she received it.  This lady doesn't know me from Adam, and rather than taking on a pleasant tone - like this is the way I got it and how can we work this out - she accuses me of being deliberately dishonest.. well she must not realize that pbs leaves it up to me whether I give the credit back..  first of all I know the condition I sent the book - excellent.. and second of all you aren't going to get compromise out of me by acting like a jackass right off the bat.. so when you do get a book that is damaged - don't be so quick to assume the sender sent it that way deliberately, and even if you think so, you get more flies with honey than vinegar - so be sure not to be ugly and disrespectful. 

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 5:47 AM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 8,435
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Very good points and so true. The majority of people are very nice and respectful here but as with everywhere, there are also some who take advantage to get what they can get. The last shipment I received, I was thoroughly disappointed with, for many reasons, but the way I look at it, it cost me about 3 bucks. I learned a little from it(I hope) and compared to everything else life throws at us on a continuous basis, this was small potatoes. Don't sweat the small stuff they say.

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 6:03 AM ET
Member Since: 11/14/2005
Posts: 1,442
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Wow, that stinks, Courtney, and I am so sorry this happened to you.  Very unfair, indeed!!  If I were in your shoes, I would feel exactly the same way. 


Date Posted: 9/26/2008 9:55 AM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Last Edited on: 11/8/08 8:28 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/26/2008 10:30 AM ET
Member Since: 1/10/2008
Posts: 345
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Well, aside from the fact that her argument doesn't make any sense --


I haven't been asked to refund a credit yet, either, but knowing myself as well as I do, I think I can honestly say someone who approached me like that, in the situation you describe, wouldn't be getting a credit back from me under *any* circumstances.  I much prefer to "play nice" -- but if you want to be a jerk, I can rise to that occasion too.  Oh, and bring a lunch, because it will be a long day.  ;-) 

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 11:20 AM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2005
Posts: 7,977
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Well, aside from the fact that her argument doesn't make any sense --

It doesn't. If she gets a book, she has to mark it received. Even if she marks it RWAP, the sender still gets the credit. Using DC postage from here doesn't change any of that.

So it doesn't make any sense that someone would pay the extra postage even if they knew they were sending a damaged book. They're getting a credit on receipt either way, and only get a 'benefit' from the insurance as an (sometimes) early credit or if the book goes lost.

And if the book goes lost, the requestor gets her credit back as well.

So I don't know what it the world she was thinking. Maybe she's mixing up book sites? I don't belong to any of the others anymore, so have no idea what they're doing there.

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 2:32 PM ET
Member Since: 8/3/2006
Posts: 3
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She did get the book - and marked it received with damage from sender.. it's kinda crazy that one would be first to assume that I did the damage.. or sent it damaged.. it reminds me of the old saying that usually the one quick to make accusations is the one guilty of committing such acts.. so that speaks volumes to me..

Kris - you and I are a lot alike - if you act like a jerk, all you are going to get from me is resistance.. I told her that she could just as easily be trying to get books without paying the credit - just as she is accusing me of sending damaged books on purpose.. that wouldn't be my first thought - but  I wanted to show how I could jump to conclusions just like she did.  Lol then she tried to say that she had 80-something credits and that proved that she couldn't possibly want to scam for books, but there are plenty of filthy rich people in the world that do miserly things and squeeze a penny so hard that abraham lincoln screams.. so her arguement still didn't prove a thing.

I would say to anyone else that regardless of what you might suspect - when approaching the sender remember - be polite, people are more likely to cooperate.. and don't always be quick to assume the worst of people.. while it sometimes can be true - often it is not.


Thanks to everyone that commented :-)

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 2:50 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2007
Posts: 2,164
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You know, you might consider PMing her - politely, after all, don't stoop to her level - and say something like, "The book that I sent was brand new when I bought it and I never read it.  I am sorry to hear that it was received in poor condition.  I can only assume that it was damaged by the post office.  Even so, I might have considered giving you your credit back, but frankly, I was put off by the way you approached this situation.  Therefore, I will not consider a return of your credit."

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 2:54 PM ET
Member Since: 9/2/2006
Posts: 4,110
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Makes you wonder if it hadn't had DC if she would have ever marked it received at all?  Her statement seemed to indicate that a less than favorable book wouldn't be marked as received.  I have to agree with the sender here, in fact I always give the benefit of the doubt the only time I would ask for a credit back is for an ARC or damage that had to be obvious to a sender.

Date Posted: 9/26/2008 3:00 PM ET
Member Since: 1/24/2008
Posts: 36
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My goodness.  I never knew my instant credits were my bald-faced attempt to scam the system!  :)

Date Posted: 9/27/2008 8:30 AM ET
Member Since: 8/3/2006
Posts: 3
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Lisa, my last reply to her was basically like you said - only I didn't even mention the credit... I'm not sure if I was quite as polite as you,  but pretty close :-)

I was wondering too about being marked as received - seems that violates the policy.. so perhaps she has a record of handling things that way..

Too bad there isn't a button on here where we can block people - rather than trying to remember the names.. so just in case they try to pay us back by pulling something else..

Date Posted: 9/27/2008 10:40 AM ET
Member Since: 3/6/2006
Posts: 3,070
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That really stinks!! I'm sorry that happened to you....