Search -
Colonial facts and fictions, humorous sketches, by Mark Kershaw
Colonial facts and fictions humorous sketches by Mark Kershaw Author:John Milne Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: ADVENTURES WITH A BOOMERANG. I Had a boomerang given to me when in Brisbane. I have got it yet. If the troubles it has caused me, and the troubles it has in s... more »tore for me, do not bring me to an early grave, I have the intention of passing this specimen of aboriginal workmanship on to some fellow I don't like. By the same messenger I intend to send him the address of a respectable undertaker. If you. have a deadly hatred for a man—if there is a man who has insulted you, called you a liar and a thief, converted you and your family into paupers, blasted your hopes for this world and the future—just ask him, when he goes to Australia, to bring you a boomerang. Tell him you would like a good big one—a fighting boomerang, lie will either be dead or imprisoned before he gets back. My boomerang is a fighting boomerang. It is made out of very hard wood. At both ends it is pointed. The edge of it is like that of a sword, and it is shaped like a young moon. My troubles with this thing began in the streets of Brisbane. It would not go in any of my portmanteaus, so I tied it on the outside of my bag. The bag then became like a double-ended ram pointed at both ends. The first notice I received about my double-ended ram was from an old gentleman against whom my bag happened to bump. ' D—n it, sir, what's that ? You've torn my trousers,' said he. I apologized, and felt very mean. I shall never forget the way in which that old man glared through his spectacles, first at me, then at his trousers, and then at the double- ender. The last look decided the course I should take. I might charge him. After this I tried to be more careful, and got on pretty well until I reached the station. At the ticket-office I found myself in a crowd, and, the persons behind pushing me, drove the double-ender in...« less