If read rationally and with an open mind, this book is an excellent guide to a good marriage. However, if you decide before starting that Debi is recommending women be doormats, that's all you'll get from it. Read what she WROTE, not what you ASSUME.
This is the most practical, helpful book I have ever read about the role of a wife. Learn how to make your marriage beautiful!! If you know there's something missing in your relationship, but you can't put your finger on it--this book will really help you evaluate your beliefs and make changes that will make your marriage glorious.
I am reading this book and loving it. It's value is above books available today on the topic. As a Christian woman with a grown family I see the errors I've made and clearly the value of the attitude of a wife toward her beloved. I found my copy at a nearby thrift shop for $.25, but I value the copy far above the cost. This book is hard to find - not because it's filled with error and untruth -- but because it is invaluable to the woman wise enough to heed. RECOMMENDED for any wife old or new.
This book is a great help to any wife to have a better marriage. God created Eve to help her husband. Her role as a wife and mother is all about what God created her for. Women are told that they have to do everything, work, family, household, careers. But using the Biblical model their main role is to take care of their husband. Try reading to the Bible and find out yourself.
As I read this book, I see great things for my marriage and home as our good Lord changes me and directs me to the way everlasting. I am realizing now, after praying so much for my husband, that I am the one who needs to change. Not by my own strength either, because that will never work. LOL :o) Our Bibles are really a written manual on everything from our personal relationship with GOD, our marriage, our children, our homes and how we treat everyone around us. I am so grateful to GOD for revealing so much to me in these past few months and for what He is willing to show me as I continue to search and seek His Kingdom and perfect will for my life. I am also grateful to the Pearls for allowing the Lord to use them in such an amazing way. If God's scripture and truth scare you, I do not recommend this book, but for those of you seeking God's truth, this book is packed with scripture, direction and our dear Lord's truth.
I don't even know where to start. Awful awful AWFUL!! So much scripture taken out of context or personal opinions that are said to be 'biblical.' I had to force myself to finish this book, and I can't even begin to count the problems I had with it. If you're looking for a good book on the topic of Christian marriages, keep looking - there are plenty will do you much more good than this one!
James L. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
Helpful Score: 4
As a Christian woman I am conscious of trying to be a Godly wife and mother. I also believe that God puts in each of us, including women, an ambition for the purpose of creating desire and leading us to God's purpose in life, and yes, outside of our husbands. Many denominations use old testament scripture to guilt trip women into only "serving" their husbands and telling them all other desires are evil. In many cases I have seen this lead to a husband's very subtle psychological abuse of his wife and the wife allows this because she has been taught a twisted version of Scripture. This book is by FAR and away the worst offender of this dynamic I have ever read. I hope that no women reads this book and gets "scripture bullied" into submission for the wrong reasons or swallows their God given talents or ambitions out of fear. I would give this book a rating of "BOOOOO" if it were available.
jmpowers reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
Helpful Score: 3
This book was an interesting read but it was peppered with some questionable perspectives and Bible quotes/interpretations. I do believe it gave me a better understanding on how to be a better help meet and how to try and please my husband in the role that I was created to fulfill. However, I do feel that this book lacks majorly in some areas.
I do have experience in the fact that I am a christian woman who follows pretty stict biblical tradions, whom had serious marital issues early on. By the grace of God, my marriage is absolutely wonderful now. I do agree that love, submissiveness, gentleness, kindness, meekness, etc... will get the job done, even when your husband is acting like a school-aged, immature boy. Ask me how I know.
Love wins them over. It takes two people to fight therefore, if you are "killing them with kindness" and loving them anyway while not fighting back they have nothing to argue with.
During my own marriage, while seeking help through our minsiter's wife, the same things kept coming up...be kind, love him, be longsuffering, pray, read your bible. All of this is in God's word. His word never fails. The answers can be found in God's word and they will never steer you wrong. The same things are true today as they were 2000 years ago. He never changes and his word never changes. I say seek him there and always reference the Bible to get the correct meanings and answers when reading christian books. Often times, you will find that the quotes have the essence of what is written in the Bible but it is often used in another context. Don't just rely on man/woman for all of the answers.
Overall, I did enjoy the book. I am only 28 years old but I am a bit old fashioned in my thinking (I believe just as the Bible tells me) and I do believe in tradional roles. The majority of the world does not believe the same way and will be completely offended by this book. I believe my marriage will be better after reading this because I will be more aware of the ways that I can "go the extra mile" to become a better help meet to my husband. I thought that this would be a book that I could recommend to others when I fist started reading it but, I will not be recommending this book after reading more.... It does have some very valid points but it also has some questionable things that could very well confuse someone who is not secure in their faith and beliefs.
I enjoyed reading this book. If you want to learn practical ways to become a better wife this book is a good place to start. I was definately challenged in some areas of my life. I appreciated the author's words of wisdom.
Crystal P. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
Helpful Score: 2
While this book gives the apparence of being a good Christian book, it is full of hypocricy and nasty language (what kind of Christian would call someone a "hussy"!?). Scripture has been twisted to fit the Pearls' beleifs (did you know that they blame an abused woman on the WOMAN!? and Debi Pearl sent a pregnant woman back to a husband who tried to KILL HER WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE!?!).
PLEASE people - do not think this is the inspired Word of God - the ONLY Inspired Word is the Bible (and Michael Pearl, despite his beliefs, is NOT the only person to "ever get it right").
Do some reasearch - some Google searches and stuff - before you get this book. There are some gems in it, but there is a LOT of bad things that just make this book BAD!
Please, lovely Christian ladies, do not read this book and think it's from God. Do your research...and this is true for ANY book, not just this one, but I know that your reseach will show you that this book is false.
I say all this having read the book and doing my own research - I found a fantastic blog about it just by google searching (I won't post the link here, but anyone can message me and I'd be happy to provide it!). I am a Christian woman, a Keeper at Home, and a Helpmeet (which, by the way is ONE WORD not two!) to my dear husband.
The author is very "strict" for lack of a better term, straight forward and real. Oftentimes I got a bit lost in her scripture explanations but better related to actual stories/emails/letters. I liked it in the beginning but by the end I was very overwhelmed and felt like I didnt measure up to this woman's standards at all and felt I was somehow failing as a wife and mother. I have heard good reviews from this book and her many "fans' are a testament that her methods do work. This is just my opinion.
Anna B. (annaruth) reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
Helpful Score: 1
I was given this book shortly after I got married several years ago. I read it and tried to take in the good and spit out the bad. I think that there were several things in the book that were helpful and useful. There were several examples that are designed to stick in a young bride's mind that help make a wife think about her attitude and treatment of the man she has chosen to spend her life with. I especially think that having a grateful attitude towards your husband, as Mrs. Pearl mentions throughout the book, is excellent advice.
However, I think overall the book was not that helpful and portrays wives as little more than "accessories" in a husband's life. Mrs. Pearl's view on a wife's role is very ingrained in old fashion rhetoric about a wife being meek and humble rather than being a true partner. The final straw for me was the story about her husband attempting to help her with the garbage, missing the dumpster, then walking away embarassed while Mrs. Pearl cleaned up his mess. That's doormat behavior in response to arrogant male behavior and after that it was hard to stay open minded. There are better marriage books out there.
To call this book sexist is to call God sexist, because the Pearls outline principles found in the Bible. Some of it is hard to follow, because our natural human desire ISN'T to submit, obey and swallow our pride. We are like that from childhood. But a woman who is ready to give her life and heart to God and follow His biblical model for marriage can, using this book as a sort of modern guide to help navigate through our culture's language, myths, modern circumstances and expectations, find a glorious marriage on the other side. Just follow the saying "Eat the meat and spit out the bones." Use the Bible as your guide to whether she has the best advice or not in each situation. God Bless, and enjoy!
J. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
I think you have to check your sanity prior to reading this book as this is a "chew the meat &spit out the bones" type of book. What she lays out as a wife's obligation and position is spot on but the way she goes about doing it is borderline offensive. But she's right about it and not many popular books are going to tell you to quit being selfish and serve your husband as the bible says to, with reverence and greater honor. If you are secure in the Lord and in your position as a woman of God, this concept and Debbie's obnoxious comments shouldn't offend. Read this prayerfully.
Sheri L. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
I loved this book! It saved my marriage! My husband and i were divorcing 9 mos ago. It was not what i wanted. A friend of mine recommended this book to me. As i was reading it i thought this is a book about repressing woman to submit to their husbands Im not doing that!!! Then i realized that my worldly way of thinking is what got me in this position. So i started applying the book to my marriage. Guess what it worked! God really does know best and when you trust and obey him things are good! I recommend this book to all my friends! Debi is like that friend that tells you the truth even if you dont wanna hear it!
This book as some very good information in it HOWEVER, there are some little bits of poison scattered throughout. For instance, to say that God pushed a woman into madness because she was unsubmissive and being the spiritual ruler of her home is just WRONG!! If God made every woman who did this insane, we'd have millions of insane women in this world! The pride and arrogance of the Pearls came through strongly as well (I speak from first hand experience--not just what I've "heard" about them). A woman who is firmly grounded could get some good stuff from this book (though if she's firmly grounded she probably already has most if not all of this), but I would strongly recommend against giving this book to new or weak Christians.
Sarah N. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
This is one of my favorite books of all time, and the best book I've read on the subject. Debi Pearl is an intriguing author and this book read like a novel rather than a book of intruction, which it is. She is very thorough and covers almost every possible subject. This isn't just another marriage help book with the same old advice, it is a beautifully written marriage manual, second only to the Word of God. Every wife should read this- they, their husbands and families will be blessed!
This has been one of the most influential books I have ever read. Not always easy to hear some of the information as I was raised in the feminist era. Has improved my marriage ten fold! Have given away countless copies to friends who are now calling and telling me it has affected them in the same way. A must read for any Christian wife!
When I first began to read this book, I felt Debi Pearl was advocating women to be doormats. As I prayed for God's direction, I began to realize the reason I felt this way was because society, as a whole, places women in a sinless cocoon. Men are always the problem always to blame, and always take the flack; while women, on the other hand, is never to blame and never the problem.
As I read this book, peppered with Biblical philosophy, I realized that I am not perfect. As I look at my husband in his fallen state of humanity, I see that I am also in a fallen state of humanity. He loves me as I am, so I need to love him as he is.
Debi does not condone abuse, adultery, rape, or any other such like. She does condone being the wife that the Bible teaches me to be. With an open heart and a realization of my sinful state, this book has been a great help in my marriage. No longer do I judge my husband by my standards, but I hold myself accountable to these standards.
Thank you, Debi, for writing such a controversial book that gets to the heart of the matter...as does the Bible!
Carissa H. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
This book has saved my marriage time and time again! I pray that every wife reads this book at least once. This book may go against a lot of things you think, have learned or been told...but it all lines up with the Bible. It will make you laugh and cry at the same time : ) Debi Pearl is a wonderful example of a God fearing, submissive, humble but strong willed wife. She is so easy to relate to and is also a great teacher. She has much to teach our generation about what God says about marriage and how to have a wonderful marriage beyond what you can even imagine!
If you read this book and open your heart to God's word you WILL have the blessed marriage the good Lord intended you to have no matter your situation (or husband)!
Courtney B. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
I love this book so much, I've read it twice already! I imagine myself sitting down over a cup of coffee as Debi Pearl shares her wisdom and experience from the Bible with me. I appreciate Debi's direct approach and lack of flowery fluff! She gives many practical applications. Debi covers every aspect of marriage and such a wide range of situations that you will see yourself in these pages and be given real answers through God's Word. She doesn't shy away from the toughest situations, continually refocusing our flesh back to what God wants, not what the world says. If Debi were my neighbor, we'd be friends and she'd be a great support and encouragement to me to continue growing as a wife into the helpmeet God created me to be!
Lois W. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
This book teaches you the biblical perspective on marriage. It goes counter to what our culture teaches - but our culture also promotes divorce. It is an excellent book full of stories and examples to help make your marriage better. It does not focus on changing your husband - that never works anyway. It is on changing your outlook, what comes out of your mouth, and, though I hate this part,submitting to the head of your household. This resource has completely turned around a few marriages in my church. If you can follow through - this is excellent stuff.
I read this book as part of a women's Bible study. It over all a good book. Very conservative. Most advice in the book was good It had a couple of suggestion I disagreed with, but the only perfect book is the Bible. I would recominde this book it uses KJV scripture to back up the advice in the book.
Even after growing up with Godly parents who love each other, being trained to be a Godly wife, and attending a Christian college, I have never truly found my true calling as a wife and help meet towards my husband until reading this book. This book has inspired me and trained me through God's word on how lead my life in my created essence; to be my husband's helper. Thank you Debi Pearl!
This book is a guide to help wives relate joyfully to their husbands. Based on the Word of God, it contains truth. I found it helpful in my marriage and obtained additional copies to share with others. I would certainly recommend this book.
This book is life changing for me. I can't believe how "easy" it is when I follow God's ways and then the way my husband responds once I am complying with His holy word on marriage. Things have been so much better since I've been reading this book. I'm still not done, but when I finish the book, I'm going back to re-read it again. I need these God-breathed lessons engrafted into my heart so I am forever changed - and hence my marriage is forever changed to display the glory of God! Praise God for inspiring Debi Pearl to write this book.
A 50 year old woman in Wisconsin
The chapter on the three types of male personalities are great! That really helps you see why your man reacts to things the way he does, why some things bother him and other things don't. That chapter is worth the price of the book.
The main drawbacks that I have found among the women I know that have read it is that the book implies fast results and that one person can turn a bad marriage glorious. Fast isn't always going to happen when you or your husband have intrenched bad habits or hurt feelings to overcome. It also takes two people to make a mess of a marriage and good behavior from one does not always mean a trouble free or glorious union. But for the basic well meaning couple who just doesn't always communicate well or women who may be weeding out feminism this book is worth your time, as long as your believe that the bible is God's true word.
Deanna W. reviewed Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover how God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious on
I can see how you would either love this book or hate this book. I LOVED it because I was ready to receive the message. If your ready to focus on YOUR God given role as a wife and NOT your husband's role, then this book is for you. This books inspires you to be the woman God wants you to be no matter who or what type of man your married to. I also highly recommend The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. It's more along the lines of a biblical study guide to help you be the woman God wants you to be from an author who was trained as a counselor in biblical principals, but doesn't have all the letters and stories to illustrate a concept like this book has. Even if you don't completely agree with Debi Pearl, I say use good judgment and take all the valuable gems from this book you can. My marriage is very noticably better and different since I applied the principals taught in this book. If submission and respect towards your husband is a problem because your holding in too much anger in your heart than I recommend looking into The way of Agape by Nancy Missler at www.kingshighway.org.
Debi Pearl has a lot of God-given wisdom from her years of walking with the LORD to share with other women. This book has some hard-to-hear truths (hard for some of us wives) for us -- and I think it's very worthwhile reading.
The Pearls (both Michael and Debi) distort much of scripture and raise the man in a relationship to a "sinless" level while women and children are sinful. Debi advocates staying with a man even if he is beating his wife and children, has raped his children, states that if he has an affair is is the wife's fault because she isn't being submissive enough, etc. Through proof-texting, Debi and Michael Pearl take the true plan for a Godly marriage and distort it to an abusive one.