I've been there. I'm feeling pretty good now thanks to prozac. My son says prozac steels your humanity and I've also worried that it would affect my writing, which it has. Im I still me. I'm not sure.
Here comes the darkness again, stealing in so softly, it's almost imperceptible at first until it decends upon me like a toxic black fog blanketing me in suffocating silence and bottomless sorrow. Like a dark cloud that rains on only me for weeks at a time, I can't shake it and nobody understands. mother says You have nothing to be sad about; you are too self-absorbed; She can't comprehend. Leaving the house, I don an inscrutable mask. so strangers will have no inkling of how I suffer nor ask questions I can't answer, but look closely and you will see the reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks that betray me. Even the sky looks overcast, colors duller and muted, reflecting my mood. Nameless, faceless spectres haunt my waking hours as I stumble through a fog of desolation going through the motions of life. No one can see that I'm bleeding on the inside. The night brings no relief I can't sleep and lie in bed tormented by demons of fear, unable to let myself relax, lest something terrible happen. I rise in the morning more exhausted that when I lay down. I stare into the abyss, paralyzed by dread, yet unable to look away. There's no escape since the demons are of my own making I need you to wipe away my tears, smile, tell me everything will be alright, and hold me like you'll never let go. Thaw this icy heart and chase away the demons, if only for a little while. |
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Comments 1 to 7 of 7
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