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Topic: a delicate question [warning: TMI for some due to medical issues]

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Subject: a delicate question [warning: TMI for some due to medical issues]
Date Posted: 12/31/2010 11:54 AM ET
Member Since: 2/19/2009
Posts: 8,646
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My stepson who recently came out as gay has been experiencing some unpleasant intestinal issues including rectal bleeding and hemorrhoids.  He saw my gastroenterologist, who I've been seeing for years, and told him "everything" about his "persuasion" [these were his words to me].  The dr. wants him to have a colonoscopy.  He's only 22.  Is it possible that these problems could be due to his sex life?  It is so disturbing to think so.  Of course we support his decision 100% to live however feels right to him and makes him happy. 

Last Edited on: 12/31/10 11:55 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/5/2011 12:52 PM ET
Member Since: 10/19/2007
Posts: 28
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There are actually lots of things that can cause this to happen, including things as simple as diet, most of them fairly routine and easy to treat.  It's fairly unlikely it is caused by his sex life, although not impossible, and certainly this can have an effect on his future sex life. Good for him for seeing a doctor, many people just ignore symptoms in that region and hope they go away.  A fantastic book to learn more about this would be The Ins & Outs of Gay Sex by Dr. Stephen Goldstone.  He goes into medical information that is both sex-related as well as common problems even straight people have to deal with.  It's a really easy and informative read.  Kind of an awkward gift to give to a stepson but every newly out gay man should have one.

D. B. -
Subject: Yep
Date Posted: 10/27/2012 7:22 AM ET
Member Since: 9/4/2006
Posts: 43
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I had a friend in college who was an out gay male. He had really painful anal fissures with infection etc related o his sex life. They were a serious health problem for him.
Date Posted: 10/29/2012 10:10 PM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2009
Posts: 2,016
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Nora, I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to your stepson. While it is certainly possible that rectal bleeding and hemorrhoids can be related to his sex life, there can also be many other possibilities.  Based on the information you have mentioned (and this is not a request for more), we don't know if he engages in receptive anal intercourse. Not all men who have sex with men do so, and some women [and heterosexual men] do. However, I'm glad that he feels comfortable to discuss this with the gastroenterologist. 


Date Posted: 11/14/2012 5:10 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
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I doubt strongly that these things are caused by his sex life. If anything they are probably issues he is prone to for some other reason that may possibly be exacerbated by his sex life.

Date Posted: 12/1/2012 12:37 PM ET
Member Since: 12/6/2006
Posts: 15,061
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One's Diet plays a major Role, and as it is straining while having bowel movements is usually what causes this issue in Males.

Perhaps during bowel movements, increased force is required to force stool through the tighter sphincter.

Also, Stress can be a Factor.


Lastly, it is also true that not all Gay or Gay/Bi or Gay/Heterosexual Male Couples include Anal Sex in their Sex Lives.


Finally, a Gastroenterologist is usually the first Doctor to be seen, but a Proctologist is the Specialist for prolonged Issues.

Last Edited on: 12/1/12 12:38 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 1/9/2013 6:59 PM ET
Member Since: 7/20/2007
Posts: 19
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*Time for a SECOND opinion, find a gay friendly doc*.  There should *NEVER* be a question whether a diagnosis is based on medical necessity or homophobia.  Don't do anything medical until you get a second opinion!!!   Don't ever allow someone else's personal bias impact your or your stepson's health care.   Go to a gay friendly doctor!!!   Best of health and luck, your stepson is lucky to have you and your open accepting mind.  Take care...


Date Posted: 3/13/2013 12:15 PM ET
Member Since: 8/14/2008
Posts: 3,574
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yea, but Laura, he only recomended a colonscopy, which is pretty much the first thing ANY doc is going to recomend for any complaint like that - they are going to want to SEE what they are dealing with so they can make a diagnoises. My doc recomended more fiber for, well, essentially the oppisite problem - liquid, urgent stools - and a fiber bar for breakfast greatly improved the problem. But I still need a colonscopy.