I recently lost my husband.  I am young with two young children and am having a hard time dealing with why God would let this happen.  We were both Christians, went to church, were involved, etc.  I can't imagine His plan for taking my husband away from his 2 preschool aged children, and from me.  Deep down I know God loves me and I know He is in control; however, it is really hard to understand right now. 

I would like to renew my faith and restore my relationship with God.  I just don't know where to start.  I was hoping that someone would have some first hand knowledge of a good devotional that they have used.  I would like to get back into the Bible, but I am lacking the motivation.  Hopefully there will be a devotional out there than can help me get back in the Bible while also helping me through my pain.

Thanks!

I wish I could point to a book that would give you the answers, but I can't.  As a recent widow myself, I have found that about the only book that really holds the answers is the Bible.  

One verse that I've held onto tight is this:

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughing and your lips with rejoicing." Job 8:21

I was not sure I'd ever be able to rejoice again but it is slowly happening.

I have the book "When God Is Silent" by Charles Swindoll that brought some peace to my heart.  I'd be more than happy to send it to you, no credit needed, if you PM me your address.

God will and is blessing you.  I know that's hard to see.  It helped me to remember that I had more with my husband than many women ever have. I was blessed that he was put in my life and that I had the great joy of loving him.

My dad died when I was 3 and my sister was 1, so my mom went through what you are going through.  But I wouldn't say do as she did because just in the past few years has she been able to talk about him nicely.  She never grieved properly, so she seemed to only say bad things maybe in hopes we wouldn't ask questions.  She in the past couple of years has actually started little stories about him, but it's been 20 years!  I'd plead with you to remember your husband and talk about him with your kids.  I REALLY missed that growing up and I would love to know more about him.

Anyway, John Piper has some awesome books and you can even read them online or download them for free.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1600_When_I_Dont_Desire_God/

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1929_When_the_Darkness_Will_Not_Lift/

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/2439_Suffering_and_the_Sovereignty_of_God/

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/2422_The_Roots_of_Endurance/

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/2441_The_Misery_of_Job_and_the_Mercy_of_God/

Hi Audrey,

I have thankfully not been through what you have, but I certainly feel for you. There is a book called Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul and I think they have one out for the Widowed also.Maybe these would help since they are stories of  real situations and perhaps you could find one you could relate to and gain some strength from.  You sound like a really brave person and you still have that seed of faith in your heart because you wish to restore that relationship that you once had with the Lord. God Bless You.

 I like Joyce Meyer's way of explaining things. Her books are easy to understand and get to the point. I would suggest two of hers:

WHY GOD WHY (just a little book but is helpful)

HELP ME, I'M ALONE: Trusting God in Times of Loneliness and Grief.

God bless.

C. S. Lewis has a book called A Gried Observed. It's not a devotional, but it is about how he struggled with God after losing his wife to cancer.

Our church, and several others in the area, hold "Grief Share" classes.  I know they have a devotional that goes along with the circicculum.

www.griefshare.org

Thank you to all for your thoughts and suggestions.  My children and I remember and talk about my husband daily.  We try to reflect on good memories that we had with him.  Though it is hard, I really want my children to know and remember what a wonderful father he was and everything that he did for them.  I just hope that as time passes, the memories won't fade too much.  I am heartbroken at the thought of their memories fading. 

To the person who posted about CS Lewis A GRIEF OBSERVED.  What an amazing book.  CS Lewis just had such a genuine gift for putting words on paper.  Wow. 

Cozette--Charles Swindoll is another amazing man.  I listen to him a few times a week on the radio and he is a wonderful teacher. 

Of course, the book that I turn to the most is the Bible, but I have found some other books that have been helpful.  I have read a few on the list here.  For anyone else suffering from loss, a book that I have found particularly comforting is THE ONE YEAR BOOK OF HOPE by Nancy Guthrie.  Her words really touch my heart.  The book is a devotional book and also offers some more in depth study at the end of each day if you would like.  I highly recommend it to anyone who has suffered a loss.  I'll have to check out the CHICKEN SOUP books.  I hadn't thought of that yet. 

Thanks for everything.  I know that with God's guidance and love we will get through this--I just need all the help I can get right now!  :)

Audrey - I am so glad you came back to us.   I have thought about you so often and wondered how you were doing.   You are right that God will get you through this.  But - that doesn't mean there isn't a lot of hurt and grief along the way.   I just put One Year Of Hope on my wish list.   I am still struggling to find my way.  It's a long ole process.  May God hold you in His hand as you go through this awful time.

I lost my mother the end of August.  A dear friend told me about a book that she & her mother both read after her dad passed away in Feb.  She said the book really blessed her & her mother.  Her mother (in her 70's) has been busy doing things for others & the Lord after reading .  This friend was so moved by this book that she bought one for me and mailed it to me.   I haven't read it yet, but hopefully will this week while I'm off work.  The book is called  Within Heaven's Gate by Rebecca Spinger.   It's a small paperback of only about 125 pages.