DH is out of work. I am dealing with secondary infertility. Taken together, these things constitute the first real trial in my happy, sheltered little life.

We both have taken a conscious decision in the last couple of weeks to just turn it over to God and let what happens, happen. I have to say, I feel much less frantic about life since I've done that. But, I also feel irresponsible. I am still worried, I am still stressed, but I am trying to believe that it will all come right in the end. But I also feel that somehow this is irresponsible, maybe a little bit stupid, and the only people who can fix this are ourselves, and I should go back to being frantic about things because at least that shows it's on my mind, right?

How does everyone else deal with the exercise of faith? When it is actually a work-out and not just a phrase to say?

Stepping out in Faith by turning it all over to God = a good thing!

Faith does not mean you are being irresponsible UNLESS your husband is sitting at home not looking for work and you are going out and spending lots of money. 

Question:  will worrying and being frantic get your husband a job or bring in more money...will it remove the infertility problem?  I would hazard to say that your answer will be no so, keep praying about and go on with life.

Guess I'm a little clueless but, not sure I understand the secondary infertility?

I'm not one to believe that "God" dabbles in my affairs, but having experienced infertility (Primary) for years, I know how wearing it is on your soul.  Taking a break and letting go for awhile is probably a good choice.  Good luck!

I agree with Christy that it isn't irresponsible unless "turning it over to God" means that your husband sits home and doesn't look for a job, all the while you continue your previous standard of living without looking for some way to cut back on expenses. 

Being frantic doesn't make things better, it doesn't "fix" anything.  It can be difficult to stop punishing yourself when things go wrong, but I think it's the right move.  Relax, focus on the practical things that you can control instead of the things that you can't, try to take things as they come, and hope for better.

No, he is looking for a job, and I have started to look as well. And the only money I spend is on PBS postage, ha ha! It is just really, really difficult to let go.  I like to think of myself as always in control or able to take a hand in something if I need to, and here I am faced with two situations that I can do absolutely nothing about. It's very odd!

Christy - Secondary infertility is when you already have children but are having problems conceiving again.

Alex,

I heard this along time ago and it really has helped me.  This is in reference to giving things over to the Lord and leaving them there. 

There was this man with a clock and it wasn't working and he tried and tried to fix it.  But, he wasn't a clock maker and didn't know how to make it work.  But, he kept trying and finally got frustrated enough that he sought out a clock maker.  He took his clock to this clock maker and explained the problem.  He then left the shop and in a little while got an idea that no, he could indeed fix the clock and he went back to the clock maker and took back the clock.  When again he realized he couldn't fix it , he takes it back to the clock maker.  This goes on several times and still the clock is broken and the man is really frustrated.  So he ends back up at the clock maker.  Finally, the clock maker says to him, "I cannot fix your clock if you will not leave it with me. Now if you want it fixed,  leave it with me and it will get fixed"  The man had to finally make the connection, that he was not the clock maker and he knew absolutely nothing about all the parts and how they worked.  And if he really wanted it to be fixed he would have to leave it there and trust the clock maker who was in the business to fix his clock. 

Alex, look up every scripture you can about being anxious.  Also, verses with the word trust in them.  These 2 words, the Lord has lots to say to us about.  Trusting the Lord, is like the man trusting the clock maker.  God knows all the ins and outs and he knows every person and situation.  And everything absolutely everything has a time period.  Ecclesiastes 3 whole chapter will testify to this.  When my oldest had a heart attack at the age of 21, as we were driving to get there, I read Phillippians 4:6 and 7.  Listen to these words and let them sink in for you. 

Phillippians4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing  by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

V.7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I had peace through that whole ordeal.  My mind was at rest and my heart was still.  God's word is truth and life, he will never mislead you or steer you off course.  But, you must do what he says to do, to get the results that will be right for you. 

I'm don't have any religious faith, but sometimes when you've done all you can, you just have to let things go.  As people, we can only control so much, ya know?  There are times when so many things are going wrong at once and I just have to tell myself to do the best I can and let the rest work itself out.  I can't will things to happen....they either will or they won't.  It can be very freeing to say "this is all that I can do....the rest I have to leave to chance/god/etc."  Sometimes it's the only way to unburden ourselves from all the stuff we've been carrying around. 

One of my favorites, along the same line...

 Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

Robert J. Burdette

ETA:  Sorry, I can't fix the wonky format.

Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest has a reading (July 4th) that addresses this that really helped me in a time of worry in my life.  The scripture he cites is Psalm 37:8  "Do not fret - it only causes harm".

Here's a couple of excerpts:

"It's easy to say, 'Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him' (Ps. 37:7) until our own little world is turned upside down and we are forced to live in confusion and agony like so many other people.  Is it possible to 'rest in the Lord' then?  If this "Do not" doesn't work there, then it will not work anywhere.  This "Do Not" must work during our days of difficulty and uncertainty, as well as our peaceful days, or it will never work.  And if it will not work in your particular case, it will not work for anyone else.  Resting in the Lord is not dependent on your external circumstances at all, but on your relationship with God Himself.

.....Fretting rises from our determination to have our own way.  Our Lord never worried and was never anxious, because His purpose was never to accomplish His own plans but to fulfill God's plan. 

........Have you been propping up that foolish soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God to handle?  Set all your opinions and speculations aside and "abide under the shadow of the Almighty" (Ps. 91:1).  Deliberately tell God that you will not fret about whatever concerns you.  All our fretting and worrying is caused by planning without God."

Thanks everyone! I'm still working on letting go, these quotes do help.

Learning to let go is a process, not an event. I still can't keep my grimy mitts off some things, but I have learned that things will be what they are whether I make myself sick worrying about them or not.

Corrie ten Boom said something like this: Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.

I have learned, painfully, that I cannot change events or other people's reactions to things. I have learned not to pray for a specific thing to happen, but to pray for the courage to do what must be done, to face what must be faced, for grace to help me find the good in any situation. Events are not in my control. My response to events is within my control.

I have also learned over a long lifetime that things tend to work out to be exactly the way they should be, although it may take years to see it.

Lester said:

I have learned, painfully, that I cannot change events or other people's reactions to things. I have learned not to pray for a specific thing to happen, but to pray for the courage to do what must be done, to face what must be faced, for grace to help me find the good in any situation. Events are not in my control. My response to events is within my control.

Wow, Les, that's great!  I may have to print that out and hang it on my wall. I'm a chronic worrier, and anything I can do to change my thinking...no matter how small...really helps.