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Topic: FINALLY, AN HONEST BAR MITZVAH INVITATION

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Subject: FINALLY, AN HONEST BAR MITZVAH INVITATION
Date Posted: 7/6/2009 12:44 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 4,979
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It is with great  stress, emotional and physical fatigue and incredible financial  sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as  our wonderful son
 
Jacob Adam  
 
is called to
the Torah as a Bar  Mitzvah.

Saturday, May 12th - (yes we realize its Mother's  Day Weekend)
Temple Israel
14 Coleytown Road  
Westport, Connecticut 06880

at the  ungodly hour of 9:00 am even though you don't really need to be  there until 10:20am to catch the real action.

If you make it  through the 3 hour service, please skip the kiddush (its
just  cookies and cake) and join us instead for an overly
large  an d ostentatious Kosher (my husband's idea) evening meal, which  starts at 7:00 PM,
(not 8:00 PM.. or you will miss out on  the 2000 canapes).

Birchwood Country Club  
25 Kings Hwy S
Westport, CT 06880
(which we had to join  just for this event and
you would not believe the  initiation fees)

You will be in the presence of lots  of
boisterous and expensive entertainment
and  60 to 70  unruly pre-teens wearing expensive dresses, funny  hats,
fake bling and brand new white ankle socks...
as well  as 80-100 middle aged+ adults, some balding, some with bad toupees,  most will be professionally coiffed, designer attire galore, lots of  REAL bling, and most "tootsed" to the nines.  At least 1/3 will  be hormonally challenged and some will act stupid while under the  influence.  Some will not even know where or who they are.   Some will complain about the food. Blah Blah Blah.  

Please have the courtesy of  showing up if you RSVP that you are attending, or you will be billed  for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.  Please RSVP as soon  as you get this and not a day before the cut-off date.  I can't  take the stress.

The  gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account  number.  "Off the top of your head" gifts
and Gift Cards  are a waste of your time and ours.  

Hope you can make it!   Lisa and David  Miller
 
Dress: Black Tie optional
Theme: 007  James Bond

BYO yarmulke.   I don't have the strength.

Date Posted: 7/14/2009 1:20 PM ET
Member Since: 10/20/2007
Posts: 1,680
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LOL.    How true!!!

Date Posted: 8/5/2009 2:12 AM ET
Member Since: 2/18/2009
Posts: 132
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Loved it!!!
Date Posted: 2/2/2010 11:06 PM ET
Member Since: 1/4/2008
Posts: 389
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=0)  Hee, hee!

Date Posted: 7/3/2010 11:37 PM ET
Member Since: 4/2/2008
Posts: 70
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That was great! My husband and I conduct services in the retirement community where we live. The rabbi comes once a month, and I read that when he was there. Absolutely everyone enjoyed it. And the rabbi emailed me to request a copy he could read to his regular congregation!

Mimi

Date Posted: 10/26/2011 2:07 PM ET
Member Since: 5/9/2008
Posts: 1
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I was wondering if I could send this out as my son's invitation?  This is wonderful!

Date Posted: 12/13/2011 11:24 AM ET
Member Since: 1/29/2007
Posts: 131
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I am so sorry that I didn't have the 'chutzpah' to send an invitation of this ilk to my three childrens Bar[t] Mizvahs.  I bet my kids would have liked it for their children's Bar[t] Mizvah.

Date Posted: 1/5/2013 3:06 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2007
Posts: 426
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Well as someone who is doing an adult bar mitzvah in a few months I am SO going to ask one of my rabbis if he would let me send out a version of it.  :)



Last Edited on: 1/5/13 3:07 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Subject: Bar Mitzvah
Date Posted: 1/9/2013 11:18 AM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2013
Posts: 1
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Well it just shows lack of Jewish education, the more Jewishly and religious a person is the less of a party

Date Posted: 11/24/2013 7:09 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2007
Posts: 426
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Then I must be a heck of a religious person Harold as my bar mitzvah is now over, I just had a huge kiddush and that was it.  No party.  One gift from the Reform congregation, two cards, that was it.