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Topic: Does your family support homeschooling?

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Subject: Does your family support homeschooling?
Date Posted: 5/30/2008 4:58 AM ET
Member Since: 10/5/2005
Posts: 453
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Just curious what other people are finding. My side of the family are ALL active homeschoolers, and we do things together with our children. My dh's side are strong public schoolers, and we always feel like we are getting the twice over whenever we are around them, which is not as often as it was before my children were school age.


Subject: Not at first.
Date Posted: 5/30/2008 9:10 AM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 422
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Last Edited on: 1/19/09 8:26 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/30/2008 9:23 AM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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My side of the family is all for it. My husband's side chooses to ignore it. They won't mention anything to do with school at all.

Last Edited on: 5/30/08 9:24 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/30/2008 11:04 AM ET
Member Since: 9/14/2005
Posts: 5,499
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My side has always been very supportive.  My parents did their research at first, but it was always just as an information gathering for them....not because they thought it was a bad decision.

My DH's side of the family is more convoluted.  His parents are mostly supportive, but a couple of my SILs are quietly opposed.  Both are polite and would never think of being rude about their disapproval, but it's definitely come up in conversations over the years that it's not a decision they're comfortable with.  I believe they all were hoping that we'd wise-up at some point and see the light, but are still waiting for our moment of clarity.  ;)

As long as people are polite and don't preach to us, I'm all good with them not approving.  It's their right and I'm the first one to defend their right not to approve.  But again, don't preach because I don't preach that everyone should be homeschooling.  

Date Posted: 5/30/2008 11:28 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 163
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We're very lucky.  Most of our family, on both sides, is fine with hs.  The only exception would be my sister, who one time complained to my mom that our children weren't social enough when we visited her.  Her daughters are super social, walk up to any stranger and be best friends social.  Our children are different ages and have very different interests.  I mean, how social is a boy supposed to be when his girl cousin wants to play Bratz dolls? 

Date Posted: 5/30/2008 4:50 PM ET
Member Since: 10/26/2005
Posts: 438
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Last Edited on: 12/10/08 12:09 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/30/2008 9:18 PM ET
Member Since: 4/12/2008
Posts: 10
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Most of our family is supportive, and few are just polite.  My mother immediately started sending books from her church bookstore!  My mil still asks (we pulled my daughter out of public school last year), "Are the kids home from school today?" when she calls during the week and hears them in the house. 

I feel the most judgement from our neighbors.  We live in a sprawling development.  We are by  schools with good reputations and parks, so most folks here chose the location based on those.   We rarely get pointed questions, just a frosty reception.  The thing that bothers me the most, though, is if I'm in a group of parents at a park someone will bring up, out of the blue, that we are a homeschooling family.   Sort of like, "Ha ha, what Leslie just said was funny, she homeschools her kids."  What's that all about?

-- Leslie


Last Edited on: 5/30/08 9:20 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 5/31/2008 10:24 AM ET
Member Since: 10/2/2007
Posts: 120
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My family is 'polite' about it but secretly (my brother had beaten around the bush) believe we're ruining their future, which cracks me up because both of his sons have dropped out of school at 16!!  And he's worried about my kids!

Date Posted: 5/31/2008 7:24 PM ET
Member Since: 8/13/2006
Posts: 126
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I only have one bad apple in the family that disapproves (and that is from both sides), BIL and SIL.  Funny thing is, they don't say anything to me, just to my MIL and kids.  In fact, they won't even come anywhere near our house.  I guess she feels that since she is a teacher's aide, she is an expert in education and the benefits.  Nevermind that Tennessee public schools are just about the worst in the country.

Well, sorry for getting on my soapbox.


Date Posted: 5/31/2008 8:31 PM ET
Member Since: 4/11/2007
Posts: 1,640
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My parents are very supportive.  My sister thinks I'm ruining my child.  I don't think she against homeschooling, I think she just against ME homeschooling. My MIL is somewhat supportive, but probably thinks we won't continue through high school. 

We have no family nearby so there is no one dissenting to our face.  Most of the comments I hear from my sister come through my mom.

Date Posted: 6/3/2008 4:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/17/2006
Posts: 349
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My family was all for it, but our friends were not.  We been homeschooling our grandson since the day he was born. He is 7 years old and the results have changed their minds.

Date Posted: 6/13/2008 3:29 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2007
Posts: 3
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My family is mostly okay with it, since both my cousins have homeschooled their kids at some point.  My brother thinks I'm ruining their lives, they will never learn to live in the real world, and they aren't learning anything.  My son isn't learning, and I probably should have left him in elementary, but then I would have ended up medicating him into behaving decently.  I'm always second guessing myself, so I just don't talk  about it with family much, until my brother catches my 10 year old not knowing his times tables or some such thing and then I look like a moron who can't even teach my kid the basics.  Makes me want to send the boy home with his uncle, since they are carbon copies anyway!  Hard headed loudmouths, the both of them!

Date Posted: 6/23/2008 11:07 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 8
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My adopted kids all have special needs so my family watched me struggle with schools and teachers for a few years and then when I found this online homeschool program they were all for it. 

Date Posted: 7/6/2008 12:01 AM ET
Member Since: 7/1/2008
Posts: 2,835
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There were a lot of raised eyebrows and concern about socialization from friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors, but the proof is in the pudding. The results changed their minds. My brother was really opposed, and now is a convert. His boy is going to be educated at home.

But I do know what an earlier poster means when a child comes out with something that sounds really ignorant. Eek! LOL.

One thing I learned from a long time home educator: name your school.  It stops a lot of idle chat and ignorant opinions. "Where do you go to school?" "The Darwin Academy." The boys' favorite response: "Oh, I have heard of that one, but isn't is a real expensive school for brainy kids?" "Yes, sir!" they said.

Date Posted: 7/12/2008 11:10 AM ET
Member Since: 12/8/2006
Posts: 29,785
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I just got my card to start homeschooling, but I've been talking about doing it for a while and I've had a lot of support about it. Everyone seems to be on the lookout for books and other resources I can use, and everyone has said they'd be there to help if I needed it. I have been totally shocked by it all!

Date Posted: 7/15/2008 9:04 PM ET
Member Since: 12/16/2007
Posts: 13
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Both sides of our family are full of public school teachers.  Some are supportive, some think I'm a freak.  My grandmother keeps telling me to move to a better school district.  There's nothing out of the ordinary about our school district that any other could "fix".

Most of our family has been able to see the results.

My mother is surprisingly supportive for now, but she can't grasp the idea of homeschooling through high school.  Then again, she can barely grasp the idea of emailing, so how can I expect her to understand the full capabilities of the internet?

Date Posted: 7/17/2008 2:38 AM ET
Member Since: 7/6/2006
Posts: 184
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My mom's dead, and my dad is ok with it.  My sisters can kiss my tail.  My husband's family thinks we are all freaks anyway, but I will tell you who the freaks are.

I must just be in a mood tonight, because frankly my first response was "I don't care what they think, they are all idiots anyway."    I'm the only one of all of them to have went to college.  My husband didn't go to college, but he makes more money than any of them do anyway. 

I liked school, so sometimes I would like my child to have that experience and not be so alone.  Oh we've got a homeschool group but it has just fell apart as gas has went up.  Everyone's so far out.  The secular group is spread out and only meeting once a month - the religious group here won't have us, so we're just home alone most days.

My neice wants to homeschool and has a child that is so terribly epileptic - he's nearly died 4 times now, and really, she needs to homeschool that child and wants to, but my sister is like "She can't homeschool she doesn't have any education."  She has a high school diploma and she's a heck of a lot smarter and better read than my stupid sister (who's been in jail twice for stealing, and probably should have been in jail a lot more than that if the truth was known.)

Bleh.  Who cares what any of them think?

Last Edited on: 7/17/08 2:39 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Subject: Families
Date Posted: 7/17/2008 10:59 AM ET
Member Since: 7/12/2007
Posts: 57
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My sister is homeschooling her four kids and one of them is off the Baylor next year on a full indoor/ out door track scholarship. It is precisely because she was homeschooled that she was able to train as she needed to win this scholarship. The other three are doing remarkabley well. This is great stuff to help reinforce hoe it can work on my husband's side of the family.

Mostly the concern is about socialization-like I'd want my son to be socialized by a bunch of kids who have no values to speak of and have him taughgt things that are contary to the truth?

I usually stop the socilaization questions by pulling out the list of activities provided by the umbrella organization.

What can they say?



Date Posted: 7/23/2008 7:44 PM ET
Member Since: 7/17/2008
Posts: 4
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We are getting ready to start our tenth and f inal year of hsing. (sniff,sniff) My 13 y o and my 17 yo are both seniors this year. Dd could have graduated by now but had health problems. Ds is a super brainy kid. Both sides of our gene pool, think we are stupid raising stupid kids and refuse to admit to us hsing. Bite me in the shorts, I say. I don't waste any sleep over it. They are being foolish. The key to learning at any age is keeping a open mind. Of course I have rubbed salt into a open wound so to say since I have been taking alternitive health classes. We plan on moving soon so I will be able to set up my own business. Both sets of parents will recieve for Christmas gifts, scapbooks of our new house, our new jobs, our new life. Guess I am in a mood tonight too!

Date Posted: 7/24/2008 3:50 PM ET
Member Since: 4/5/2008
Posts: 2,783
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This will be the very first year we will be putting our son in a virtual school (yes, I know not exactly a homeschool--but to most people that we tell it is one and the same for them).

My parents were NOT thrilled.  In fact, my mother got a bit worked up about it and my son who was in the other room I am sure heard because he seemed a bit sad after that when I went to check on him.  The way it sounds they not only don't think he will do what he needs to, but that I will either.  (thanks)  I am not sure where that is coming from because I am a pretty goal-orientated person and wouldn't jeopordize my sons education. 

My mother made the comment to my son that they were going to buy him some new things for school "but since he isn't going to school" they aren't going to.  My son then felt very let down and asked "what if I go back to ***ley school?"  The response was they would wait and see if he did after this year.  I am still mad about it, but remained calm when explaining that he is "going to school".  Don't get me wrong, it is totally their perogative whether they wish to buy him something or not.  My issue is not with that.  It is "why did she have to say anything then?"

Sorry guess I am ranting (and this happened days ago).

Anyway, we haven't gotten any comments from my husbands side of the family yet, but we emailed them the news and haven't yet seen them.  They tend to be more supportive with things, but not sure considering there are traditional public school teachers in the family.

Date Posted: 7/25/2008 10:48 AM ET
Member Since: 4/16/2008
Posts: 849
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I found this thread interesting because my sister homeschools.  Everyone on my side of the family wishes she would put them in school.  Her two boys are 16 and 17 and have no friends at all but my boys.  It is my sister and her two kids all day together.  My boys are very active and we just can't see them all that often.  Her boys actually told my kids they would love to go to school but would never tell their mom that.  They come to my boys' sporting events and just fall in love with the whole thing.  She always tells me my kids are so much smarter than her kids because they get all these awards and are in National Honor Society and such.  Tell you the truth it breaks my heart.  Her boys have absolutely no idea how to survive in the real world.  They also have the social skills of kids much younger.  My 14 year old has outgrown the 16 year old.  Hope I don't get tomatoes thrown at me!

Date Posted: 7/25/2008 2:36 PM ET
Member Since: 4/5/2008
Posts: 2,783
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I am sure like most things Kimberley, one gets out what one puts in.  I am sorry that your sisters boys don't feel they can speak with her about their desires.  Open communication between parent and child is important in any situation.

As to the sports, there is no reason why they couldn't be involved in sports or other activities that interest them especially at their ages.  This can be done through the community as well as through school.  Perhaps your sister is not aware of that and you could find a non-confrontational way to bring it to her attention.



Date Posted: 7/26/2008 8:47 AM ET
Member Since: 7/25/2008
Posts: 5
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I'm so blessed to have family that supports me. 

Date Posted: 7/26/2008 11:57 AM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2007
Posts: 1
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Totally cool! I had no idea we had our own section on here!:) My family has home schooled for aproximately 27 years. None of my grandparents would have chosen home schooling, however they have always been supportive of my parents' decision.

Date Posted: 7/27/2008 4:54 PM ET
Member Since: 12/20/2005
Posts: 3
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I am lucky in that ALL of my family live in other states far away.  I see them once a year, if that often.  So their opinions about my life are pretty much a non-issue.  My husband's only family nearby is his mother, and she is very respectful of our choice although she doesn't fully "get it".  She'd never say anything bad about it though and tries to be supportive.