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Topic: I feel assaulted How do I proceed with this????Edit and nother???

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Subject: I feel assaulted How do I proceed with this????Edit and nother???
Date Posted: 10/14/2010 12:03 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2009
Posts: 10,070
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Thank you for sending me this book. But I will have to ask you to return my credit as there are multiply problems with it. There are pages falling out of the book begining with page 67-81. There are also a few torn pages and stains across the top of several pages. This book is therefore not a postable book. Your prompt attention in resolving this matter will be greatly appreciated. If you have and questions you can ask them in the question forum or search the help documents.

I Feel Assaulted by this response

Sorry, you've picked the wrong person, to make all these outragious claims with . There was nothing wrong with that book, all pages were intact, there were no torn pages, and no stains on it. Yes, it was a used book, that hd been read severa times.(I had received it from another PBS member)
My history with this club, will verify, I don't list books in bad condition. You can asl, anyone I've sent a book to.
On top of that, I carefully wrap, and send books out as quickly as humanly possible, There is no way, this book could have susstainted the damages, you say, in shipping, so in my humble opinion, you have lied.
I stand by my book was in good condition, and I will not refund your credit.

OK I sent it to contact us having never done that before.  Do they respond back to you if so how?   what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a response?

 Should I respond back? 

Last Edited on: 10/14/10 3:50 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 10/14/2010 12:11 PM ET
Member Since: 2/21/2009
Posts: 2,925
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Mark it unresolved and move on? You may want to use the "contact us" button as to the PM though...I'm fairly  sure that calling members liars is inappropriate conduct.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 12:16 PM ET
Member Since: 2/25/2010
Posts: 388
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I would mark it unresolved as well and report it to TPTB.    That was an uncalled for response.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 12:20 PM ET
Member Since: 1/30/2009
Posts: 5,696
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Well, this person is clearly a jerk, but is it possible the book came from someone else?  i.e. it timed out, they never marked it sent, but mailed it anyway?  I might check to make sure.

If the book did come from this person, I agree with Jodi - mark it unresolved and move on.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 12:40 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,210
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Are you the receiver or the sender? I cannot tell from the dialog if you sent the first section or the second. If you are the receiver, there is nothing to be done but mark it unresolved and move on, the Team will not become involved. 

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 1:16 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 10,045
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Offer to post pictures of the damage. And then let her know you have a excellent reputation as a receiver of books and she can ask anyone who has sent a book to you to prove it.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 1:48 PM ET
Member Since: 7/12/2010
Posts: 4,177
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All was well until the liar part, which could cause some problems.  There are more subtle ways to call a person a liar without coming right out and saying it.


Date Posted: 10/14/2010 3:15 PM ET
Member Since: 9/8/2009
Posts: 625
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Janice, the fighter in me wouldn't be able to let go of that one.  I would probably respond:

Attached please find a link to photographs of the book you sent me that will evidence the damage I originally stated.  After you have the opportunity to view the damage that made the book unpostable, I trust that you will adhere to PBS guidelines and return my credit to me.  As for your history with PBS.... It is neither here nor there, given that this transaction had a problem. 

It is perfectly permissable for the recipient of a book to contact the sender regarding condition issues and I addressed the issue respectfully.  Your responsive accusation that I am lyiing is a personal attack and inappropriate.  I have contacted the PBS team to alert them of your behavior and have also sent them photographs of the subject book.

I would also add my hope that the fleas of 1000 camels infest his/her armpits, but I would hit "delete" before sending.  LOL 

Crikey, why do people need to be nasty?  I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 3:24 PM ET
Member Since: 7/13/2005
Posts: 5,201
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"I Feel Assulted by this response"

Assulted?  What is assulted?  Can't find it in the dictionary.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 3:27 PM ET
Member Since: 1/23/2009
Posts: 3,041
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I would advise against sending photos to the PBS Team. I did that once for a problem transaction and was asked never to do that again because they do not open attachments and become directly involved in problem transactions.

I would agree with the others that you should let them know that the other member accused you of being a liar. They might have a chat with the other member about that, but they will not choose sides as far as the RWAP goes.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 3:30 PM ET
Member Since: 2/16/2006
Posts: 1,956
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Assulted?  What is assulted?  Can't find it in the dictionary.

Clearly she meant "assaulted."  Give her a break! Thank goodness you don't have to be an excellent speller to be a member here (otherwise I would have been kicked out years ago.) ; )

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 3:43 PM ET
Member Since: 8/12/2010
Posts: 335
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If she honestly feels the book went out fine then I don't really have a problem with most of her response (I'm pretty thick skinned myself) but the assault bit was very odd and I would be kind of pissed about it. I mean, you didn't hit her or throw the book in her face or wait for her in an alley so it's an inappropriate thing to say.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 4:03 PM ET
Member Since: 12/31/2009
Posts: 3,995
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If nothing else, I would have been upset by the sheer crushing number of commas she sprinkled throughout her response. Jeez, that was fun to read.

Anyway... I personally would respond back with a simple "Upstanding member or no, the book arrived damaged and is unpostable. I'd like my credit returned d by XXX or I will mark it unresolved. Please do no respond, as I don't think I can stomach any more commas right now."

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 4:25 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
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Mark it unresolved and move on.  IMO you're being too sensitive to the response, and the sender clearly does not intend to return the credit.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 4:27 PM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2009
Posts: 1,411
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Lisa > LOL, crushed to death with commas :D

Janice > That liar bit is uncalled for. As others have said, I would contact the PBS team to let them know about her comment. They won't become involved but at least they can mark her account for rude behavior and maybe even have a talk with her.

As for resolving this, it sounds like you won't get your credit back, even if you offer to send pictures. I'd send her pictures, perhaps even say that you're letting the higher powers know about her accusation, and give her a deadline to refund your credit. If the deadline passes with no refund, then mark it unresolved and move on.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 4:29 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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I am with Caviglia on this...can you please make sure that the book actually came from the person you contacted? She seems to feel so strongly that her book is in good condition that at least you should make sure you actually received the book from her and it wasn't from a cancelled transaction - meaning, that somebody else got your request first, mailed the book and then forgot to mark it mailed and your request went to this second person.

If you confirm that she indeed sent the book, then you should do as others have suggested. Mention the condition rules and which rules this book didn't fit, ask for your credit back again with a date where you expect it or you'd mark your condition unresolved. I'd also point out that being rude to other members will get her in trouble with the PBS Team (quote rule.)

If she doesn't refund your credit, just move mark it unresolved and move on. I can understand you feeling bad about her response (assaulted is a bit strong though) but sadly some people really don't know how to deal with a bad transaction without getting defensive. Just accept that sometimes you may have to interact with these people, treat them how you would like to be treated (hopefully this would be a lesson for them) and try not to take it personally. After all, it's not as if they know you.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 4:32 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,632
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I would respond back with "You are the liar, here is a link to pictures of the damage to the book.  Please return my credit by XX or I will mark this as unresolved" and leave it at that.  The PBS team will not get involved.

Date Posted: 10/14/2010 5:41 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 36,873
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wow-  just wow

Date Posted: 10/15/2010 2:00 AM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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I wouldn't insult the sender back, you might wind up regreting it.

Date Posted: 10/15/2010 2:31 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 36,873
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Date Posted: 10/15/2010 7:09 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I would drop it and getg on with my life.  The credit isn't that important. 

Date Posted: 10/15/2010 7:12 AM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2007
Posts: 2,015
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Last Edited on: 2/3/15 1:36 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Cathy A. (Cathy) - ,
Date Posted: 10/15/2010 9:54 AM ET
Member Since: 12/27/2005
Posts: 4,150
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You'll get a response to your feedback message via email. The response time varies, but it can take several days. The message on the top of the feedback screen says to wait something like 48 hours, but it can take longer. Since this is not an emergency and they are not going to help you get your credit back, there's no reason to send another feedback message to follow up.

The only thing you really have to complain about here is that the other person was rude. You don't get to complain about him not refunding your credit. Members do not have to refund credits if they believe their books were postable when they were mailed. People do disagree about these things sometimes and the site owners will not decide who's "right" in these cases. What they will do is tell this guy not to be rude in his personal messages any more. A stranger calling you a liar in a private message doesn't really qualify as "assault", so it's really not likely that anything else will happen.

Your only response to the other member should be to wait for 1 week after you asked for the credit back and if you haven't gotten it by then, just mark the problem as unresolved. Do wait out the week, because sometimes people change their minds after sleeping on it. If you mark the problem unresolved too early and he gets another email about the situation while he's still thinking about it, then you're just going to irritate him all over again and make it that much harder for him to back down and refund your credit.

Date Posted: 10/15/2010 10:51 AM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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Mark it unresolved and move on.  IMO you're being too sensitive to the response, and the sender clearly does not intend to return the credit.

I disagree.  If the receipient hadn't included the accusation of being a liar I would agree with you.  But, this site consistently warns us to refrain from any personal attacks, on the forum and in transactions.  Calling someone a liar is a personal attack, there's no way around that.  So, the OP should definitely contact the team aboutthis.  They will contact the recipient and talk to them about their personal attack. 

I really do wish that there was some way we could access the history of a member to see how many RWAP's they have had, how many books have gone lost, etc.  That would give us more control over who we choose to do business with.  I'm betting that the rude member has a history of this kind of behavior.  She can easily say she has a stellar reputation since there is no way you can access her record on the site nor can we contact members who have done business with her.



Date Posted: 10/15/2010 12:26 PM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2009
Posts: 1,411
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Even if it turns out that the book came from somewhere else, it was still uncalled for the member to accuse her of being a liar. The member could have kindly suggested that the problem book came from a different member and to double check it.

Accusations are not fun to get in a PM. In one problem swap I received, the sender told me that I must have opened the package too roughly and damaged the book myself. Even through she phrased it nicely and certainly didn't call me a liar, it still ticked me off to no end. But that was a credit I simply had to let go of and just marked it as 'unresolved'.