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Topic: Ever feel guilty for not joining a game?

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Subject: Ever feel guilty for not joining a game?
Date Posted: 1/28/2009 7:22 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I don't know why but I feel guilty for not joining a couple of games that are up right now and don't have many players.  I'm kind of gamed out between the Virtual Boxes and the swaps.  I really need to send out more books then I receive.  I just feel bad that they don't have many players.  As it is right now I have 2 books to read for games and "having" to read them is making me not want to read them-ya know?

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 7:26 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2008
Posts: 5,773
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I know how you feel Mary, Although I havent been playing games that long I feel like Ive been reading because I have to as opposed to because I want to. and then i feel bad when i dont join someones game. And Ive recieved more then ive sent out . After I finish up with the games Im in I'm going to take a break and start on my huge TBR list so I have more to offer people.

Last Edited on: 1/28/09 7:29 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/28/2009 7:46 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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DH is going on a business trip for 5 days. My goal is to read 10 WL books that week.  It's probably too high of a goal but I have some shortish WL books so I think I might be able to accomplish it although the house will probably look a wreck. 

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 7:55 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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Well, now I'm really glad I don't do games. I have enough to feel guilty about. ;-)

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 8:23 PM ET
Member Since: 1/19/2008
Posts: 14,843
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nope, no guilt.  i play in the ones where i'm pretty sure i'll be able to get a book i want to read, and skip everything else.  plus more than six swaps at a time and i start getting a little overwhelmed.  i also mainly try to play games where i already have a book i've read that i can use.

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 9:17 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I need to put my account on hold and not turn my computer on for like 2months and just read stuff from my TBR.  Then come back on and post and only join games if one of those books works. I 3 over flowing book cases now.

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 9:25 PM ET
Member Since: 8/30/2008
Posts: 2,207
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I'm not a gamer  (or joiner in many ways) and don't feel guilty about it. I belonged to some candle listservs and was kicked out of one for not posting at least one message a day; and was made to feel really guilty about not participating in tart robins in another group. The way I feel about my hobbies/interests is that they are my relaxation and no one should feel guilty about doing something that would put negative pressure on them.  I love melting candle tarts while I'm reading - aromatherapy to go with my escapist reading material - but I was starting to feel resentful of the candle stuff until I realized the problem was "theirs", not mine, so I left the group. I put my bookself on hold periodically here, too; if I know I won't be able to get to the post office on a timely basis, or if the weather's going to be bad for a few days, that sort of thing, plus it takes the pressure off. When one HAS to read something for whatever deadline, that can be the pits - reading should always be a leisurely pleasure.

Date Posted: 1/28/2009 9:58 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,729
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Nope, I don't play in many games anyway.  No more than 2 at a time and only if I can pull something from my TBR pile that fits the game.  Plus, the theme of the game has to interest me and not a lot do.

I was thinking of joining a virtual box but, with the new rules, I'm totally confused again.  I thought I had finally understood how they work but now I don't again so I'm staying away.

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 12:47 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2008
Posts: 311
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I haven't joined a game yet, mainly because the first couple I checked out looked like I needed an advanced degree in calculus to figure them out!  I got about half-way down the list of rules on one and wrote it off.  For me, it was the equivalent of "Take the square root of Pi, multiply that times the inverse of X,  cube that and figure for standard deviation...then you'll get  a book - yay!  :D  Then I saw another where people were getting books, then getting them stolen, blah, blah, back and forth.  That's just not fun for me.  LOL If I want a book,  I don't want to go back and forth playing games...just here's the credit, please send me the darn book!  The funny thing is, I used to love playing board games, etc, but not so much recently.  I guess I'm turning a bit snarky in my aging years! :D

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 1:06 PM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2007
Posts: 2,728
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Wellll...to be honest, the only one I felt guilty about not joining was your Native American swap, Mary!  I had wanted to, and thought I had a book that would work, but turned out it had some damage I hadn't noticed before so I couldn't use it.  I had also resolved to only join swaps for which I could use a book I already had, so it just didn't work out.

Other than that- nope, no guilt.  Swaps are supposed to be fun, and if it starts to feel like a burden to play in them, then why bother?  I don't have the time to join more than 2 or 3 at a time, max- I work FT and can't be checking game status all day long at work.  I think it is ok to have some rules for yourself for what you will play in- otherwise, it just becomes too much of an obligation, and that takes the fun out of it.  I only join the ones where I will get a book I know I will want to read- like the cowboy or Highlander swaps that Dawn does, some of the other romance ones, or cookbook swaps.  Generally I only play the garden-variety elephant swaps- I've looked at some of the more complicated ones, but it was just too much for me.  I did do Crazy Carole's multi-round cookbook swappy thing, and OMG...it was crazy!  SO many books, SO much stealing, and it went on forever!  I came out of that one with some really great books, but not sure I can devote that much time to a swap on a regular basis!

Sounds to me like you're getting a little burned out on the swaps Mary, so maybe it's time to scale them back for a bit.  No need to feel guilty about that.  Then when a swap comes around that you are really into, you can enjoy it.

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 1:16 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 1,131
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I really love the games and learned the hard way to only join the ones where I don't have to go out and buy books that I have no interest in reading.

Just finished one where I got three books that were very high on my WL and did not move very fast and send three that I read to somebody that really wanted them. Win win and it was a lot of fun.

I would like to join more but some of the rules are giving me a headache just reading them so I can't imagine that the actual game would be fun, at least not for me.


Date Posted: 1/29/2009 1:34 PM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2008
Posts: 2,530
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Okay, I'm glad it's just not me that doesn't understand the games and can barely make it through the rules. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me! :p I've heard everyone talk about how much fun they are, & what great books they got from them. Then I go to the games forum & I feel like I'm trying to read a foreign language. 

Last Edited on: 1/29/09 1:34 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/29/2009 3:22 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I skip most of the multi round ones.  I'm kind of sorry I did the category one going now-no offense to the hostess if she sees this.  It's taking forever and I'd just like to mail out my book.  I also skip most of the ones requiring a non-book item.  I would do one with a bookmark or something easy. But not where you have to get a gift of somekind.  I have too much stuff as it is :-)) The PJ one sounded fun but then I didn't like the idea of some stranger buying me PJ's or of giving them my size.

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 4:28 PM ET
Member Since: 7/18/2008
Posts: 1,051
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Nope. I am happy without the games & it keeps me from getting confused with orders. :)

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 4:52 PM ET
Member Since: 8/12/2006
Posts: 1,012
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I'm in my first swap and mainly joined because I have SO many books.  I can see that it is actually costing  me money because I sent out more than I receive.  It's my first time, so it is a learning experience.  The experience isn't bad or anything, I'm just not sure it is the best thing for me.  I plan to play a little longer though.

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 5:37 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
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I checked out the games forum once, but I never took the time to puzzle through the rules. Maybe someday :)

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 5:53 PM ET
Member Since: 6/12/2005
Posts: 191
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I played in a swap once a couple years ago and got frustrated because it took a month to get through the swap. I just joined the chick lit virtual box but they just changed the rules and now you have to give a credit for each book you take out and I don't really like that idea, so I might be dropping out before it even starts! Other than that I don't feel guilty. I spend enough on postage and the slowness frustrates me more than it entertains me.
Date Posted: 1/29/2009 9:34 PM ET
Member Since: 12/3/2005
Posts: 10,700
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I think I overkilled on games.  I was working from  home in December and had plenty of time during the day to keep caught up and ended up joining 19 swaps (see signature line!).  Of course, come January I'm back to work with a VERY demanding client and work 10-11 hours a day (away from home) and only had time to post "I received..." or "I sent..." messages.  This really took the fun out of swaps for me.  Right now, I'm only in 6 or so and some are long ones (which is good for me!).  I have more time to post, more time to read and not be so frazzled about it.


Date Posted: 1/29/2009 10:48 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,729
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Some swaps have pretty complicated rules so I just skip those too.  Another reason I don't join many games.  If it's more complicated than your basic elephant swap, I get confused too. 

Date Posted: 1/29/2009 11:11 PM ET
Member Since: 11/13/2005
Posts: 1,950
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I quit doing the games because I started sending out books before I'd read them so I wouldn't be late! Kinda defeated the purpose.

Date Posted: 1/30/2009 6:08 AM ET
Member Since: 1/20/2007
Posts: 7,052
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I love the swaps, but you're right, Mary, once in a while I feel guilty for not joining a swap hosted by someone whose swaps I usually join.

I try to have a book for a swap that I have read, but I'm not always that lucky, so sometimes I'm speed reading. lol I also used to join every kind of swap and for awhile there I was trying to keep track of the 12-14 swaps I was in on top of everything else. Now I've narrowed it down to only those swaps where I might actually read what I get and am usually only in 4-6 active swaps at a time.

Date Posted: 1/31/2009 1:22 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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Well I ended up joining 2 more.  One of them I realized I had just posted a book that will work and so no pressure there. Book is already read.  The other one I have a book I received in a game that I'm not really interested in and so I'm going to use that one. I will probably try to read it but it's not a big deal to me if it goes out w/o being read and maybe I'll get something I'll like better for it instead.  I'm just not into paranormals that much. I like some but very few. 

Date Posted: 1/31/2009 3:34 PM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2007
Posts: 376
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To be honest, I cannot for the life of me figure out how these games are even played - I keep reading the rules and get so confused I just click away from the page. The rules just don't seem to make any sense to me.

But  please don't explain it to me - it's probably better if I don't know and don't get involved!!!