Discussion Forums - Questions about PaperBackSwap Questions about PaperBackSwap

Topic: Friend requests

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Friend requests
Date Posted: 5/8/2014 10:58 AM ET
Member Since: 4/28/2009
Posts: 9,886
Back To Top

Do you ever get friend requests then send a PM to 'chat' before hitting the "select" or pass button?

 I have about 10 requests where I sent a PM introducing myself  after THEY sent ME a friend request.  I let them know how I use my friend list (usually only to ask a question once a year or so -- sometimes about the state they live in regarding plants or critters, or to ask if they've seen a certain movie).  But never have I heard back.  I figure if they are really interested, they will PM me.  So those requests hang in limbo.

Many of the responders say they wanted to "friend me" due to my forum posts.  Some also live in FL or share common interests with me. I was a gold key member the first year it was offered so some requests were just because they wanted more gold key friends.

Date Posted: 5/8/2014 12:36 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2010
Posts: 4,316
Back To Top

I let anyone add me to their friend list.  As for chatting with any of them, I have probably talked to roughly 8-10 out of the over 200 on my list.

Date Posted: 5/8/2014 12:52 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,484
Back To Top

I have all my friends tagged.  I'm sorry, I want to know why you want to be my friend before I accept the request.  Unfriendly of me. 

I get all these blind gold key requests.  With over a page of friends, it has become hard to actually find folks for games.  Or those tasty bookshelves I want to find. 

Date Posted: 5/8/2014 1:42 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

I have it set to auto accept and then pay very little attention to my friends lists. I don't really care why someone wants to buddy me as it doesn't affect my account in anyway and it's not something I want to think about or deal with.

Date Posted: 5/8/2014 1:48 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 10,040
Back To Top

I auto-accept all friends. I don't care why people want to friend me. And, I send friend requests for all different kinds of reasons. All of those reasons have to do with books or bookshelves. I've never friended or unfriended someone because of forum posts.

I've mostly only chatted extensively with friends that are also in games with me.

PBS isn't like Facebook where the notion of "friend" actually has meaning. "Friends" in PBS is just a way to make a list of people that you want to remember for some reason. Without needing to keep a Post-It attached to your computer. They don't know anything about you that random members don't know unless you choose to configure your account that way, which I'm guessing that 95% of people don't know they could do, and the other 5% don't do it.

Last Edited on: 5/8/14 1:52 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 5/9/2014 10:07 PM ET
Member Since: 9/22/2010
Posts: 3,405
Back To Top

I sometimes check out my "friends" to see what percentage of similarity they have with me.  All are under 40%. Sometimes I actually check out their bookshelf and wonder how our similarity could even be 10%, as their books are so very different than mine.

I have occasionally asked "why friend me," and I usually get "because you live in my state." I guess that is as good a reason as any. 

Perhaps some people just like to 'friend' other people, or hope I'll request a book from them. I have looked at their lists, but I can't remember requesting a book from any of them.

I remember why I accepted the first person who 'friended' me. It was because I was tired of going to my profile page and seeing "Thomas F. doesn't have any friends."  smiley


Last Edited on: 5/9/14 10:07 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/10/2014 1:09 AM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2010
Posts: 4,316
Back To Top

I don't send friend requests so people will order from me.  However, I do happen to like adding friends so that they may (hopefully) have multiple WL books that I own so I can ship more than 1 at a time.  The more friends I have, the more likely this will happen.

It's not the only reason, of course.  I love making new friends too.

Date Posted: 5/10/2014 12:02 PM ET
Member Since: 9/25/2008
Posts: 4,452
Back To Top

I never commuinicate with the people on my friends list. I auto accept friends so never think anything of it. Sometimes I will add someone who sends me a book or I send them a book if it seems we read the same types of books.

Date Posted: 5/10/2014 12:38 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
Back To Top

I found when I added a message to the top of my profile asking folks to introduce themselves before asking to be my friend, the number of random unknown friend requests dropped dramatically.

Jeanne, you don't have to leave those requests in limbo -- feel free to decline them.  I'm really against folks who spam friend requests solely to improve their gold key chances, so I decline the random folks.  Sorry if that makes me antisocial. angel

Date Posted: 5/10/2014 6:02 PM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,804
Back To Top

I have never ask anyone why they wanted to be my friend, here or in real life.

I don't have so many friends that I don't have room for another one.

I seldom use my friend's list on here. 

zeke68 -
Date Posted: 5/10/2014 6:48 PM ET
Member Since: 10/30/2008
Posts: 2,810
Back To Top

I usually accept any friend request, but I will look at their profiles to see why they are friending me.  Most of my friends are either people from other swapping sites or those with an interest in post-apocalyptic (PA) stuff.


Date Posted: 5/10/2014 9:15 PM ET
Member Since: 5/18/2007
Posts: 13,221
Back To Top

I don't have so many friends that I don't have room for another one.

I don't allow just anyone on my friends list but I don't question them either. I just make sure that I either know them or of them from somewhere - or maybe they live near me.

I do agree with the above sentiment and it reminds of when I first moved back to California for a new job. After being there about 6 months I was asking someone about her garage sale hunt methods in looking for books - she was an avid Amazon seller and made some good money with some great rare book finds. I thought it was interesting so I asked if I could tag along with her one day. She said, "Oh sure but just so you know, I don't need any new friends." I was struck by her comment because who can have too many friends????? I felt sorry for her actually with that way of thinking.

So you never know, that person you accept a friendship request from might become your new online bff! yes


Date Posted: 5/10/2014 10:07 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,631
Back To Top

I have it set on auto accept and rarely look at my friends list.  I don't want to be bothered with it.

Date Posted: 5/10/2014 10:58 PM ET
Member Since: 5/1/2010
Posts: 372
Back To Top

I use my friends list for people I want to keep in mind in the future because they have similar book tastes as me.

But if they friend request me, I check out their profile or books first!

zeke68 -
Date Posted: 5/11/2014 8:38 AM ET
Member Since: 10/30/2008
Posts: 2,810
Back To Top

So you never know, that person you accept a friendship request from might become your new online bff! yes

Funny, Susan, I met my actual BFF online.  After I thought he was an obnoxious jerk.  smiley

Date Posted: 5/11/2014 3:02 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2010
Posts: 4,316
Back To Top

I met some of my best friends online!

Date Posted: 5/12/2014 6:10 AM ET
Member Since: 11/18/2010
Posts: 6,741
Back To Top

All my friends are people I chat with here on the forums or I've traded with in the Book Bazaar.  I noticed the other day that I have, I think, 3 friend requests of me pendin', but they've been there a while and I don't recognize any of them.  Whenever I make a friend request, I send a greetin' in a PM. 

Date Posted: 5/14/2014 7:42 PM ET
Member Since: 3/20/2006
Posts: 229
Back To Top

I auto-accept friend requests here.  My first few friends on PBS were people I knew in real life, but now most are people I have never met nor even chatted with online.  I post a lot of WL books so I prefer to have Gold Key friends who can jump the line -- or help me jump the line when they have WL books to post.