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Topic: GRRRRRRRRR - this ticks me OFF!

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Subject: GRRRRRRRRR - this ticks me OFF!
Date Posted: 9/12/2010 7:18 PM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2007
Posts: 52
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I received a book that clearly did not meet PBS guidelines.  The binding of this book is falling apart both at the top and the bottom of the book.  In addition to that some of the pages are water damaged AND the first few pages are actually falling out of the book.  I followed the suggestions that PBS recommends when received a RWAP....I even copied PBS's suggested text for my PM to the sender.  Here is what I said to her:

Thanks for sending the book. Unfortunately there is a problem. The book you sent me, "Love Walked In"
does not meet the guidelines for posting on PBS. The binding is torn and multiple pages are separated
from the binding. This problem makes this book unpostable by site guidelines, and I won't be able to swap
the book again. The guidelines for posting are found here: http://www.paperbackswap.com/help/help_item.php?id=205

I would like a credit refund, which can be accomplished by clicking Give Refund in your transaction archive
on the Request Details page for this swap, and I will be happy to mail the book back to you if you will provide postage.

Please let me know if you are willing to do this.

This is the reply I received from her:

Just so you know I will give you the credit back just to get rid of you. I think you are absolutely RIDICULOUS! I received the book like that and wouldn't you know, I read it just fine and never complained about it to the person who sent it either. I know there is no way you will enjoy the book now....let me guess, your going to throw it away without reading it.....that's what you should do if the credit is refunded! You should not get to read the book and complain about it's condition (which is still easily read...with no missing pages!). No, I will not pay to have it shipped back to me ( I already read it, duh!!) Sorry I don't have all the time you have on your hands to critique the books I receive and send. I have 4 little kids at home who are more important to me and worth my time. Sorry for trying to be helpful and sending you the book. It's people like you who ruin the experience of paperbackswap.

I am really just shocked at this rude and inappropriate reply.  I am glad she refunded my credit but GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am well within my rights to ask for the credit back and it pisses me off that I get flamed for this.  SHE is the one who did not follow the rules.

This isn't the first time I have had this happen.  Thankfully I have had very few RWAP but is seems that when it does happen I usually get a reply from the sender that is similar to this.  It should surprise me that people are so quick to attack.  What happened to being polite and showing tact and a little class? LOL

I know that I should not let this bother me and normally I just let this type of thing roll off my back but I thought she was exceptionally rude and it got to me today.

Does anyone know if there is a way to put a "block" on members so you do not order books from them again?



Last Edited on: 9/12/10 7:20 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/12/2010 7:38 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 6,852
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No, there isn't any way to put on a block. Chances that you will swap with her again are slim.  Sorry this happend.  I am speechless at the moment.  Maybe her four kids were about to drive her over the edge? 

I must say I really want to scream when I hear the response "I received it that way".   It isn't an excuse for not following the rules. 

Anyway, her response is attached to the transaction, so if her account is reviewed by PBS, that response will be reviewed.  Try to have a better evening!

Date Posted: 9/12/2010 8:02 PM ET
Member Since: 4/5/2010
Posts: 2,102
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That is a good excuse people like to use. Oh I recieved it that way.................well even if they did they should not have reposted it !!!

Date Posted: 9/12/2010 8:05 PM ET
Member Since: 9/25/2008
Posts: 4,323
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Sorry you received a book like that and the response you got. Those who send the worst condition books get defensive when they are called on it. You did the right thing marking it RWAP as others might not.

Date Posted: 9/12/2010 8:06 PM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,800
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Don 't let her rudeness bother you too much.  She's wrong and she knows it.  She and her ugly words are not worth your time or effort.  Consider the source and let her words roll off you.  She returned your credit (thank goodness) and you have no need to have any more contact with her. 

Date Posted: 9/12/2010 8:10 PM ET
Member Since: 12/31/2009
Posts: 3,995
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"I got it that way" is a common non-excuse people use. She should have marked it RWAP herself and not reposted it. Posting a book in that condition is not acceptable. Period.

People that make innocent mistakes typically respond with an apology or at least a civil reply. An aggressive attitude can tell you a lot more than words. Just take your credit and let her stew. 

ETA: And oh yea, I just love the typical "it's people like you that ruin the site" line. Decrepit books unfit to be used as toilet paper. Ruins nothing. </sarcasm>

Last Edited on: 9/12/10 8:16 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/12/2010 8:31 PM ET
Member Since: 2/25/2010
Posts: 388
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I, too, am really sorry that you got such a harsh reply.  When people get a RWAP, their first inclination is to say something hurtful.  They feel like they got a slap on the hands and it's hard to take.  Now there are those who resist that urge and actually think things through.  They rise to the occasion and handle it with class.  Sad to say, there are many others that don't.  This is one of them.  Maybe her kids are pushing her over the edge.  She may have received that message at late afternoon when her defenses were down and her kids were pushing all the right buttons and dinner wasn't ready yet and the laundry was piled up, etc etc etc.  You get the picture.  Doesn't excuse what she said but it could explain it.  You got all the wrath. 

I feel bad for you,Tammy.  Say a prayer for her when you get a chance.  She may just need it. 

Date Posted: 9/12/2010 10:45 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 88
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Tammy, I can totally understand why you would be upset by this person's message to  you.  It is always upsetting to deal with people who lash out, no matter how innocent we are and undeserving of the attack.

I wish there was a way to block senders or receivers on this site.  I have a suggestion, though . . . if you can look at her bookshelf and either make a list of the books she has, or make screen shots of her list, then you can avoid requesting those books in the future.

Just my 2 cents,


Date Posted: 9/12/2010 11:53 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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Yet another unfortunate "I received the book like that..." non-excuse (unpostables are not 'grandfathered' into the system just because you received it in violation of site guidelines).  It's becoming epedemic.

Is it just me, or are we seeing more 'sore looser' replies when members are notified of a RWAP?  Like children online seem to feel the need to make rude and obscene comments when loosing shooter games, some adults are not acting their age.

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 12:01 AM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2007
Posts: 2,015
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Last Edited on: 2/3/15 1:52 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/13/2010 2:05 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 36,603
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When a poster admits that the book was in unpostable condition when they received it and sent the book anyway, I wish tptb would step in and tell that member that they are in the wrong and if they continue to send books in unpostable conditon, their membership will be removed.

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 7:31 AM ET
Member Since: 11/14/2005
Posts: 1,442
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I am shocked and appalled you were treated so rudely; so sorry that happened to you Tammy!  Do not take what she said to heart; it is people like HER who ruin the site for others.  You did exactly the right thing, and I am glad that at least you got your credit back.

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 9:51 AM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2007
Posts: 52
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When a poster admits that the book was in unpostable condition when they received it and sent the book anyway, I wish tptb would step in and tell that member that they are in the wrong and if they continue to send books in unpostable conditon, their membership will be removed


Adrienne - I totally agree......I too wish that they would call these people out and let them know that THEY were in the wrong.  I know if it keeps happening that they will eventually be rooted out of they system but how many people do these people trade with before they are kicked out?

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 10:31 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2009
Posts: 8,403
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I think that TPTB should have a copy of the PM where this member admits to knowingly sending an unpostable book.  Yes, she refunded you the credit, but she was also extremely rude to you as well.   If that were me, I would send that in. 

Knowingly sending out unpostable books is wrong.  I doesn't matter if "they received it that way..."  Rudeness is wrong.  You did not deserve to be treated like that, and what you did was exactly what the PBS rules allow for.  You did not choose to accept an unpostable book for your credit.  Chances are that many other PBS members are receiving the same treatment from this member.  *Sigh*.

"Readable" does not equal "postable"... maybe PBS needs to explain in the Help Center documents what options people have to offer up their unpostable WL & non-WL books, so that there would be less trying to "sneak them through" the system.  (Especially since many members don't frequent the forums & don't know about the BB and genre threads that are specifically designed for this.)  Just a thought...

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 10:35 AM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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Wow, that's about the snottiest e-mail I have ever read.  I would report this person to PBS.  She certainly needs an "attitude adjustment".  She also doesn't understand or doesn't care about the guidelines for participating on this site.  PBS will set her straight.

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 11:25 AM ET
Member Since: 5/15/2005
Posts: 1,328
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I agree - extremely rude, but I don't see that message as a flat out admission to knowingly sending out an unpostable book. Sounds to me like someone who passed on what she received without even thinking of, or knowing of any rules.

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 12:01 PM ET
Member Since: 7/12/2010
Posts: 4,177
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Rude response; but I'm glad you got your credit back. No harm in forwarding the response to TPTB.

I suggested this elsewhere today that it would be a great feature if TPTB created a function where you could create a list of people you don't want to deal with in the future.  It would'nt have to be a public list, just something that you could look at before dealing with a person.


Last Edited on: 9/13/10 12:05 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/13/2010 12:11 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 36,603
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it would be a great feature if TPTB created a function where you could create a list of people you don't want to deal with in the future.  It would'nt have to be a public list, just something that you could look at before dealing with a person.    +1

Date Posted: 9/13/2010 8:32 PM ET
Member Since: 8/30/2008
Posts: 2,207
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Wow, that *is* the rudest response I've ever read about. I think many of us have received a book that's reached the end of its postable life but even the couple I've received were never as bad as the one you received. Jeez, anyone can read a book with loose pages - she obviously overlooked the obvious.

I've only been with PBS a little over 2 years and have had incredibly good luck, and I always feel so bad when I read about the unpleasant transactions others have gone through. We're not all like that, Tammy.


Date Posted: 9/17/2010 6:37 PM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2007
Posts: 52
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I agree with you all....for the most part I have had GREAT transactions and correspondence with other members.  Most members are reasonable and HONEST - thank goodness! lol

Just as an update - I did let PBS know about the rude response I received and I heard back from them.  They said they appreciated me letting them know and that they would contact the member to let her know that her rudeness was not okay and that they would educate her on the rules of the site.

Date Posted: 9/18/2010 12:42 AM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2005
Posts: 1,594
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Tammy sorry about that. I had a lady back a while wait till my RWAP  pm timed out  *so to speak*..she had to be reminded by TPTB to answer me! Funny once they wrote her she replied back from her trip she enjyed she said......then she said she checked all her books and never sends out damaged books ....at least you recieved your credit back...I didn't get mine..got a crappy book she was mega rude too and got away with it..I marKed her RWAP..UNRESOLVED big deal it didnt give me my credit back

Date Posted: 9/20/2010 8:26 PM ET
Member Since: 9/4/2010
Posts: 3
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What can you do but laugh?  The bug up this person's butt should certainly do nothing to rain on your parade.  Just make sure to thank her profusely for the returned credit... with enthusiasm... and smilie-face emoticons... maybe a few hearts and flowers...

Date Posted: 9/21/2010 1:12 AM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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TPTB can and do "step in", but they have to know about the situation.  Since the member's reponse to you was abusive, Tammy, write a note using the "Contact Us" link at the bottom right of any PBS page so they can investigate.  They'll be able to read everyone's PMs and see what was going on and apply whatever measures are necessary.

Date Posted: 9/21/2010 1:18 AM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2006
Posts: 9,342
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I'm so glad the Admin Team followed up with her.  Thanks for letting us know, Tammy.

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 2:20 PM ET
Member Since: 1/1/2009
Posts: 1,924
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  That is frightening that a mother would think NOT following the rules is ok simply because someone else failed to follow the rules first. Just what is she teaching her children I have to wonder? I think maybe I am insulted just reading what she wrote because I have 4 children of my own and can't see her logic at all.  I a


m sorry you have to deal with that, I am glad you got your credit back. I am also so glad that you will be stopping the cycle and not passing that book on here because your mother taught you better!