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My 21 year old daugther has a friend that does not understand how her body functions. She has been asking my daughter a lot of questions.Her friend is about 19 or 20 years old and has not had any female anatomy instruction or sex education. Also, she is engaged. My daughter asked me to look for a book for her friend.
Can someone recommend something I could get to give to my daughter for her friend ? We do not want to give her something that looks like it is written for a child because she is about 20 years old. The books I have are written for 12 or 13 year olds and look young.She is Russian and does not have a very large English vocabulary so I hope to find something with a fairly simple text.
Last Edited on: 4/24/08 9:44 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
you are gong to have a tough time overcoming the language barrier while also looking for books that are written to an older level. Personally, I find children's books are often the best way to communicate with someone with a language barrier.
Sorry, no recommendations at tthis time, but I'll be watching this thread to see what suggestions others come up with.
I highly recommend Dr. James Dobson's "Preparing for Adolescence" and Dennis & Barbara Rainey's "So You're About to be a Teenager".
As Cindy said, when you're dealing with a language barrier, then going back a few years isn't so bad. If this young woman can get over the titles, she'll find a LOT of good information.
I have Tim & Beverly LaHaye's "The Act of Marriage" on my bookshelf. That would probably be a good book for her since she's engaged. She needs some frank discussion on sexual intercourse. ;-)
I'd be happy to do a 2 for 1 on the book if you, or your friend, is interested.
Oh, I just checked and I have Charlie Shedd's "Celebration in the Bedroom" also:
I think a combination of pre-teen/teen books and some "prep for marriage" books would be just the right thing.
I would recommend "The Magic of Sex" as an *adult * and very informative book about monogamous marriage relationships. It is very detailed, but not pornographic.
However, the God's Design for Sex series is also great. The second book is written for 5 to 8 year olds, but it is not "childish" and is basic and includes very basic anatomy, description of sex, and the basics of having a baby. It is called "Before I Was Born" and is by Carolyn Nystrom. It has nice watercolor pictures and I think that it would be palatable for the most innocent person and fine for limited English.
"The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls" is definately written for pre-teens, but does go over some body basics.
Last Edited on: 4/25/08 9:23 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
I would connect her with your local health department and/or local pregnancy programs (ie. HIV/AIDS Council, Planned Parenthood, etc..) Any Public Health agency will be more than happy to meet with her confidentially and help explain how her body works and what to expect when it comes to sex.
Now, for the more subtle ways of dealing with the opposite sex, that's what friends are for!
I do have a great book at my office that, of course, I can't remember the name of at the moment. I'll post tomorrow once I have a chance to get back in the office. I know it is more of an encyclopedia for females and is filled with great info. I work with teens, so I try to keep beneficial materials handy.
For small children, I really recommend A Kid's First Book About Sex. It is a short read and is a great teaching tool for kids around ages 7-11. It is a very frank and up-front book. It really helped with my son by helping us talk about masturbation. He had his hands down his pants constantly and was truly fascinated with his little member. This book affirms that this is natural and okay, there are just appropriate times & places to do so. It has cartoon drawings of different body parts & shows how different people's bodies (and parts) may look different, but they are all normal. (I suggest that if you are uncomfortable talking about sex that you stand in front of a mirror and say "Penis & Vagina" repeatedly until you can say them without giggling before reading this book with a child.)
Hope all this helps! :0)
Here's the book:
I wanted you to know I spoke with an acquaintence who works with WIC and pregnant teens with low literacy levels when she helps them breastfeed their babies (she is a lactation consultant). She searched high and low and has no book suggestions, which surprised her. She suggested you contact WIC or Planned Parenthood who might have brochures and low literacy level educational materials that are even available for free.
I worry that if you present her with a book written for a child in elementary school, a picture book or even one for a 11-12ish aged girl it will be insulting and not appropriate content anyway.
Good luck with it.
Thank you for all of your suggestions. I have requested 2 books to give to my dd for her friend. I think my daughter will be able to look these over first and be ready to discuss them with her friend. Her friend has been asking my daughter the meanings of various English words, phrases and jokes for years. If the books I requested are too much of a challenge we will continue to look for appropriate materials.
ChristineMM said "I worry that if you present her with a book written for a child in elementary school, a picture book or even one for a 11-12ish aged girl it will be insulting and not appropriate content anyway."
I agree, Christine. I do not want to do that. The books I have ordered for her are not juvenile. I think it should be fine since my daughter and her talk regularly. As a last resort we could pull some appropriate pages out of a more juvenile book , if there are some appropriate pages that do not look juvenile.
Last Edited on: 5/9/08 1:04 AM ET - Total times edited: 1