I am looking for a book, probably from around the mid to late 1990's, the
hero is in some kind law enforcement, i think the heorine might be as
well. The heroine's ex-husband (who was thought dead) comes back after
her. The hero protects her while the husbands capture is attempted.

If I remember correctly, the husband was not only abusive to her, making
her rely on him completely for everything, but he also killed their baby
to make her pay for not following his rules...i could be confused on that
part though.

One detail I remember clearly is the hero is a widower with two or three
adult daughters and he still wears his ring because he can't get it off
his finger without cutting the ring off.

One scene I remember is the heroine overhears the hero on the phone with one of his daughters (Erin, Erica?) but
thinks it he is talking to his wife because she sees the ring and isn't
aware he is a widower. Later, after a upsetting event, the hero suggests a
drink for the two of them and she refuses, telling him that she doesn;t
think it is a good idea because of how he sounded on the phone with his
wife, he informs her he is a widower and she lets him inside for a drink.
while having the drink, she drops the bottle and alcohol spills on the
table and the heor's hands. the heroine cleans up the alcohol on the table
with paper towels and then proceeds to kiss, lick and suck the alcohol from
the heor's fingers. he backs her against and wall and they kiss and then
they end up in bed

Soon after the guy comes after her, not too clear on those details

Unless someone remembers this scene specifically from Gardner's The Perefect HUsband, I'm 99.9% sure that is not the book. Any help would be wonderful!