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Topic: holidays

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Subject: holidays
Date Posted: 11/18/2007 8:29 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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How do you all spend them?  Any family issues that make coordinating with a partner difficult?

Last year I wasn't invited to Greta's families house for anything.  I was so pissed, but it was partially Greta's fault for not making a big deal about it.  This year we're going to Greta's parents for Thanksgiving and my parents house for Christmas.

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 12:00 PM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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Both my DP & I really dislike going to my mom's because she's not a warm & loving person and she is on a very slow journey of understanding regarding DP & I.  And I don't expect her to change anytime soon..... :-(

That being said, we are going to DP's mom's for T-day up in Muskegon.

DP's mom, bro, sil & neice & The boy & his girlfriend will be spending the Saturday before xmas with us.  I'll invite my mom, but she will find some reason not to be here.  We'll probably end up having to go to her house anyway to spend the day with my neice, at some point during the holiday time.

 

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 1:43 PM ET
Member Since: 6/23/2005
Posts: 379
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DP's family is all gone or MIA (not military, just no contact - we couldn't even find her brother when we found her heart trouble - just to tell him he might want to get checked)

My biological family is at various places on the acceptance journey, ranging from my brother who will not set foot in my parents house if I'm there (even sans DP) to my dad who has been so welcoming & accepting from the time I came out 10 years ago. For a while we tried switching out Christmases - 1 year DP & I would go to my parents hhouse, next year we'd stay away so brother & his wife could visit. Then brother & his very nice wife (seriously! I like her more than I do him) had kids. Now my folks come down here for a visit in December and we stay away so they can have Christmas with the grandkids.

We started a tradition of sorts of going out for Chinese for Christmas dinner. This year, we will probably be doing Christmas with the same friends we're doing Thanksgiving with! A gay couple we met at our new favorite Chinese restaurant - unfortunately for us, the folks who run the restaurant are Christians and will be closed on Christmas Day!

 

 

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 2:22 PM ET
Member Since: 11/10/2006
Posts: 3,001
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My side is no issue,,,,they are all gone. My partner only has his mother. The issue of what to do is really only every other year, since he has to work the holidays every other year. On the years he is off we will either hav her come up or we go down Christmas Eve and stay home Christmas Day.

Depending on their mother's BF status (seems to change - they have an on again/off again relationship) the kids will either come by us or go to her house. This year both are spending Thanksgiving with their mother. Although, my daughter is annoyed that she has to sleep over...lol.

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 6:29 PM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2007
Posts: 6,447
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Chris's family is mostly in Florida. We could go to her nieces in NH but Chris has to work on Thanksgiving anyway so we won't be doing that. My mom prefers to stay at home and she's not big on the family thing. Has nothing to do with me or Chris. It's very hard for her to get around. Since Chris is working I may cook here and then go there. Her apartment is so small that it's hard to have a big to do.

When my son was born I made it a rule that we did not go anywhere on Christmas day. That was for staying home. We usually go to my mom's on Christmas Eve. Hopefully Chris won't have to work this year. LOL

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 10:51 PM ET
Member Since: 5/9/2006
Posts: 851
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Last Edited on: 1/18/09 2:33 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/19/2007 6:09 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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Last Edited on: 8/11/10 4:52 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/19/2007 11:28 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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It's just one more issue to have to worry about.  It's so frustrating having to fight for things all the time.

Thanks, Chris!

These days I feel very grateful for where things are family-wise.

Date Posted: 11/19/2007 12:01 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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My family couldn't give a what for regarding who you've chosen to spend your life with.  They wouldn't even glance twice.  It's just not an issue, so you're all welcome to my parent's house with us.

Now, if you want to see what it's like to argue about crap that happened 15 years ago, then you  can come on over for that too !  Geesh!

LOL (you gotta laugh)

Date Posted: 11/19/2007 1:00 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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Oh Jessie I remembered something I gotta tell you about car insurance. I dont wanna threadjack so Im off to pm.

Date Posted: 11/19/2007 3:03 PM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2006
Posts: 440
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Holidays, oh fun.

We live 300ish miles from Kim's family and almost 900 from mine.

We spend Tgiving in PA with Kim's family. They accept *us* somewhat. They don't *like* (they have strong religious feelings) that Kim is a lesbian, but they can deal with it somewhat well. Their big problem is with me. Mostly b/c of our age difference, I think. That said, they do try as best I think they are able. I get b-day and Christmas presents from them. I'm welcome to visit. However, when we go, we are not allowed to stay at their houses. So sometimes we get a hotel room, and sometimes we stay with a friend of Kim's from college. So they definitely have their tolerance threshold.

Date Posted: 11/19/2007 3:54 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Wow, they won't let you stay at the house?  Ridiculous. 

Date Posted: 11/20/2007 7:57 AM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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Aren't families fun? lol

My mom sends me a xmas card - but doesn't send one to US - drives me crazy.  We stay home on xmas day and then in the afternoon we go to a potluck at the YWCA, which is where our LGBT center is - we've been doing this for a couple of years now.  It started as a way for LGBT people to go for xmas and have a safe place to be for the holiday.

Date Posted: 11/20/2007 11:57 AM ET
Member Since: 10/11/2007
Posts: 19
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Oh, Jessie!  Why must you remind me of what a nightmare holidays are?  I'll be with my sister and mom and Tara will come over if her mom will let her out of her sight.  I'll be lucky if I get to see Tara at all on Thanksgiving or Christmas this year even though we live together.  Ugh!