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Topic: How do you pick your "friends"?

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Subject: How do you pick your "friends"?
Date Posted: 9/23/2010 10:04 AM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2010
Posts: 1,207
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I was just wondering how people go about deciding who to "friend"?  If I have had a good transaction with someone and we have a lot of books in common, I friend them so I can find them again to shop on their shelves.  Same with forum post I enjoy and just random people who I have "looked" at.  If I like someone's bookshelf, I send them a friend request so I can find them later.  I wish when you sent a request you could send a quick message (i.e. I like you bookshelf and wanted to be able to find you again).  I worry that people don't accept my request b/c they wonder why I am asking if we have never interacted. 

Anyway, who do you friend, and why?  

Last Edited on: 9/23/10 10:05 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Lisa N. (LDN) - ,
Date Posted: 9/23/2010 10:11 AM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2007
Posts: 11,317
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I can't really tell you a criteria I use, but the ones you use sound pretty standard.  I have my settings to accept friend requests automatically since I can't see any reason to not be friends with someone.  As for the PM issue, you can't attach it to the friend request but you could still PM and say "just sent you a friend request. . . ."

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 10:42 AM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,804
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I don't put much thought into it.   If for some reason I like a post they've made, played in a game with them or like their bookshelf I will send a friend invite.  And I have my option set at auto accept, so lots of people friend me and I have no idea of the reason. 

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 11:32 AM ET
Member Since: 8/15/2007
Posts: 3,044
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I have mine set on auto so anyone can friend me.

I usually just friend people I PM with randomly on the forums. If I do a deal with someone and want to find them again for a possible future deal I'll friend them.

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 12:46 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,484
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There is an option called Tag Groups under friends.  I label why folks are my friends.  So later I know where I got deals on children's books vs who lives in town vs who I chat books with.

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 1:16 PM ET
Member Since: 2/13/2007
Posts: 2,276
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My friends usually evolve from a thank you PM into brief conversation about an author or sharing ideas about alternative sources for hard to find books, etc. So they become people that I have connections to -- I then tag them in my friends listing to differntiate them from the random friend requests that I get that I have no idea why they requested being my friend.

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 1:42 PM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2009
Posts: 1,411
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Is it weird I don't have many 'friends'? My friend list is very small and most of it are my real life friends who started an account when I told them about PBS (though only one went through with it and put up ten books; the others lost interest).

I've had great transactions and PM conversations with many members but never really thought about friending them. Should I get on that? Is friending important on the site?

Lisa N. (LDN) - ,
Date Posted: 9/23/2010 2:36 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2007
Posts: 11,317
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Should I get on that? Is friending important on the site?

Not important unless you want to easily find someone a second time or if you play in the games swaps.

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 12:16 AM ET
Member Since: 5/18/2007
Posts: 13,221
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Most of my friends are my swap buddies and people I talk with and run into regularly on here. I don't friend randomly (just by liking someone's shelf) but I know it's common because I get friend requests that way.

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 5:37 AM ET
Member Since: 8/30/2008
Posts: 2,207
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I have very few friends, too. I've received/swapped  'comment' PMs from people on the 2 forums I visit but I don't do swaps or games so I have no need to find anyone quickly. Actually, with the few friends I have we have never PM'ed each other on a social basis, and I can usually find someone in my transaction archive if I have a book I think someone might be interested in (like someone who has requested a slew of trad Regencies) and I'll check their WL.

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 7:19 AM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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My friends are mostly people from the games forum (I host games and reading challenges and I need to have people on my friend's list for mass PMs and such.) I also have my friends to autoaccept so I may have a lot of people in there that I don't even know.

That's why I'm glad of the 'Autoaccepted tag' that is added to each new friend that comes in auto-accepted.

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 11:07 AM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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I friend people who share the same taste in books as I have.  I have one "friend" who shares my love of Robyn Carr's Virgin River series.  Since that is one series I actually buy new books from, when I'm done I wish list the book directly to that friend.  I like knowing my wish list books go to someone I am acquainted with rather than to someone who is anonymous.

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 5:49 PM ET
Member Since: 6/5/2007
Posts: 2,508
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Another reminder is that you can use the tag feature for your friends. That way,  I know if I know the person through one of the forums, similar book tastes, etc.  If you friend for games, you can also make a tag of that type as well. 

Date Posted: 9/24/2010 7:38 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,635
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I have everyone on auto accept so anyone can friend me.

I can't even remeber the last time I looked at or used my Friends list.  Like tags, I don't really see the point so if I can turn them off or set it so I'm not bothered by it, I'm happy.