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Topic: How Many Playdates a month do you have?

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Subject: How Many Playdates a month do you have?
Date Posted: 11/29/2007 1:45 PM ET
Member Since: 9/6/2007
Posts: 51
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Ok.  I have just started homeschooling 7 year old this year.  In the area where we live, there are not a whole lot of extracurricular activities that he is really interested in.  And really, is a 7-year old expected to be into doing a lot of different things/group activities?  Anyway, I catch grief all the time from my family who think that he does not have enough "other kids" time to play with.  I work from home, and in addition to that have a 19 month old, as well as trying to teach son, and work extra on the side crafting, selling stuff on ebay, etc....whatever it takes to make ends meet as hubby does not have time for this.  In addition to that, I am a preacher's wife, and am called upon quite a bit in those duties as well.  We go to my husband's family's farm on the weekends, where my son gets to play with whomever is there (most times there are at least 15-20 people around in the general area from 2 barns and 2 other families that live there as well).  In addition to this, every other weekend his cousin comes up and plays with him on Saturday, then on Sunday he gets to play after church with the kids there.  I do understand that there are other times that he should have kids over here to play, but my house stays a total complete wreck so much, and seems I have so many other irons in the fire, that more often than not, it is like once every 2-3 months right now that I can muster the courage and stamina needed to have 2-5 kids over here to play.....The only problem with that is ........when it is family on my side, and I say Hey..sure come over for a couple of hours, that couple of hours turns into a couple of days most times and there I am left again...with no way to catch up, catch my breath, etc.  This all gets to where it affects every aspect of my life...as well you can understand I have a tight balance that has to say somewhat in control, or else everything else goes completely chaotic to the point that I end up breaking our bank account YET AGAIN, all for the simple fact that I am made to feel guilty when I say enough is enough...things have to slow down a little til I get a better grip...don't you understand?   Am I wrong in this?  Most times now I sit in dread (like this weekend coming up...part of me says.....Great!  Let's turn the get together into a Tree-decorating party...the other part says....Yeah...and then you can hear the family....Oh, you haven't gotten your tree up yet?? I got mine up weeks ago.......What's wrong with you?....etc.)  So I sit in dread again and do not even want this to happen...to the point I am thinking of running away to the farm again :) 

So I guess my question is......am I wrong here in this?   I like having my kids around me and what little family time we do get to spend all together I guess I am hoggish cause I would like to spend it with just my kids...not everyone else's in the country in tow also.

Any comments here would be greatly appreciated .


Date Posted: 11/29/2007 2:23 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2007
Posts: 4,588
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I'm worn out just trying to decipher your post! Sounds like you have too much on your plate.

I don't think it is wrong for you to want time together with just your kids and hubby. It also sounds like your son is getting lots of exposure to others already. I wouldn't worry about that much.

I don't understand when you say that a 2 hour visit turns into a 2 day visit.If your family is inviting themselves to stay the night and you just can't make yourself say no, try and arrange their visits before an appointment or something. That way you can say, "you're welcome to come for a playdate but I have to leave at 2 o'clock for (insert appointment, etc)"

I never have 2-5 kids over for playdates, that is too many for me. 1 kid, 1 guest. I also try to do Park Days, just meet with a few moms who have kids close in age to mine. Then when I am done, I pack up the kids and leave, no shooing everyone out of my house and we don't have 5 boxes of toys scattered around to clean up.

Don't let other dictate how often your kids are with other kids. It sound like they want him having playtime with other kids every day, that just isn't realistic (unless the child is in public school maybe). There is too much hype about socialization among home school kids. What is coming to light is that homeschoolers are more mature (probably from high exposure to adults) and in my circle we have alot of socialization with church activities and a couple of outside classes. Sounds like your situation is very similar to mine in that respect. I imagine your child is very well "socialized".

Don't beat yourself up over others expectations. Your kids are yours & your husband's, it's up to you two to decide.

Cyberhugs, Char

Date Posted: 11/29/2007 2:53 PM ET
Member Since: 9/6/2007
Posts: 51
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Thanks Char!  I guess when I get frustrated, I still have a tendency to just ramble ALL feelings out,instead of just sticking to one topic!  I know my life sounds "overly full" and I try to pare down wherever I can...but I have learned one thing...I just do it as it comes...let the rest fly by.  If it never gets done, it was never that important to begin with.  My kids are most important and doing what is  best for them and their happiness...All else can go :P!!! LOL