How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers Author:Max Booth III 1. Do not respond to bad reviews. — 2. If you must respond to bad reviews, please do not kidnap the reviewer. — 3. If you must kidnap the reviewer, do not kidnap him in a public area. — 4. If there are witnesses, do not also kidnap them. — 5. If you also kidnap the witnesses, consider quitting crystal meth. — 6. If you find yourself surrounded by hos... more »tages, purchase extra duct tape.
7. Do not let the hostages take their own hostages.
8. Invest in better coffee.
9. Don't forget: dildo crucifixes have more than one use.
10. And, most importantly: do not engage the severed heads in conversation.« less