It's not what you think! unless you're weird!

OK so like here's the deal: effective immediately, or sooner, whichever comes first, I'm offering an Invert Mystery Sale on all my posted books, hard or soft, and I think you know what I'm talking about. For every book you order, I will -- get this -- I will come to your house and take something away!

That's right -- now you, too, though why you'd want to is beyond me, can participate in the Mystery Sale -- http://www.paperbackswap.com/forum/topic.php?t=150205 !  I will claim something from your life along with each book of mine you order: could be a piece of scrap paper. Could be a piece of scrap paper with something written on it!  Could be a pencil stub. Or a piece of cereal. Unpopped popcorn kernels. Cat hair. A band-aid. A gum wrapper you left under the fridge in 1982. A wasabi pea, if you eat wasabi peas. The potato masher you bought years ago before having discovered that it's too much frigging work to mash potatoes! 

Dustballs!

Don't let this opportunity pass you by -- get in front of it and run like hell!

The Fine Print: non-book "Invert Mystery" items are determined at the sole discretion of whatever you leave lying around that catches my eye and is grabable before you release the hounds.  Mystery items may be returned if I realize the next day they're disgusting. Items are valued individually but it should be obvious that unless you live within walking distance I'm not going to bother actually going through with it.

Mandatory in Tennessee.

I would take advantage of this offer in hopes that you would take away some of the mess in my apartment, but from what I hear you're not too good at cleaning.

I do have plenty of the items mentioned (especially cat hair) except the wasabi peas.