Discussion Forums - Humor

Topic: Jokes (some are not pg-13) feel free to add yours to the thread

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Subject: 7 reason not to mess with children - #6
Date Posted: 7/1/2014 10:59 AM ET
Member Since: 1/7/2007
Posts: 1,073
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

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Subject: 7 reason not to mess with children - #7
Date Posted: 7/1/2014 11:02 AM ET
Member Since: 1/7/2007
Posts: 1,073
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."


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Last Edited on: 7/1/14 11:07 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Subject: Kids Say the Strangest Things!
Date Posted: 7/1/2014 11:03 AM ET
Member Since: 1/7/2007
Posts: 1,073
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Kids Say the Strangest Things!

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. 

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 

You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 

Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. 

Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. 

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. 

School lunches stick to the wall. 

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 

The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I KNOW they're my feet." 

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "So I'm looking for the seal."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A four year old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail." 


Last Edited on: 7/1/14 11:11 AM ET - Total times edited: 1