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Topic: The MYSTERY Sale!

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Subject: The MYSTERY Sale!
Date Posted: 1/20/2009 8:15 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2007
Posts: 12,886
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It's not what you think!

It's not for the squeamish!

It's utterly without redeeming social importance!

If I were you, I'd ignore it and hope it went away!

OK so like here's the deal: effective immediately, or sooner, whichever comes first, I'm offering a Mystery Sale on all my posted books, hard or soft, and I think you know what I'm talking about. For every book you order, I will -- get this -- I will include an object from my home!

That's right -- now you, too, though why you'd want to is beyond me and it's my sale, can own a piece of... something... from my life.  Packed along with each item ordered will be something else.  Probably whatever was in my field of vision at the time: could be a piece of scrap paper. Could be a piece of scrap paper with something written on it!  Could be a pencil stub. Or a piece of cereal. Unpopped popcorn kernels. Cat hair. A band-aid. A domino I found on the street in 1982. A wasabi pea. Maybe a dollar bill, or some dimes. The lemon zester we bought years ago before having discovered that nobody ever needs to zest a lemon! Might be my checkbook. Might be an old CD containing the lost it-was-all-a-dream ending script of "All The President's Men"!


Don't let this opportunity pass you by -- get in front of it and run like hell!

The Fine Print: non-book "Mystery" items are determined at the sole discretion of, uh, me.  Mystery items may not be returned, I mean, that would be stupid, you'd be paying postage for, like, what? Items are valued individually but are guaranteed to have a minimum value of crap!

Void in Tennessee.

Last Edited on: 1/21/09 11:49 AM ET - Total times edited: 3
Date Posted: 1/20/2009 8:17 PM ET
Member Since: 12/17/2008
Posts: 239
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Date Posted: 1/21/2009 7:28 AM ET
Member Since: 3/12/2007
Posts: 472
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oh darn.. Im in Tennessee :(

Date Posted: 1/21/2009 5:32 PM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2007
Posts: 5,526
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I have family in TN does that count?

Daniel T. - ,
Date Posted: 1/21/2009 6:48 PM ET
Member Since: 10/22/2008
Posts: 272
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The Porneia On Desire and the Body In Antiquity, either hard or soft, gives us Faith that you will be able to help us experience The GoodLife. Your Life Force brings with it Undue Influence and is quite Beyond Time I might add. I suppose you might actually live on Sweetwater Ranch in The House of the Seven Gables near Los Alamos and for some is considered The Five Gates of Hell. You seem to be quite The Confidence-Man feeling Free to Trade your own personal items like a Stark Raving Elvis on a Saturday Night at San Marcos.

Date Posted: 1/21/2009 7:22 PM ET
Member Since: 3/4/2007
Posts: 4,583
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Don't let this opportunity pass you by -- get in front of it and run like hell!

Best. Line. Ever!  ROTFLMAO!  Too bad I've read everything on your shelf or I'd have placed an order.

Date Posted: 1/21/2009 7:26 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2007
Posts: 12,886
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Thiggy: one good turn deserves another, so I know you're catching more fresh water fish at cabin gulch off the mangrove coast -- with characteristic deadly grace and a heart of fire, I might add -- but it would be best if you could be home before midnight. If not, the lords of discipline would put you straight on the road to perdition. They're off arranging cut flowers in their low-maintenance gardens, but you'd be tempting fate, like all toxic bachelors.

-- The Pocket Book of Quotations