"I welcome you, people of Earth, to my presence. I cannot say how moved I am to be amongst you again, and I appreciate your own feelings on this wonderful day. For the Hero of your greatest legends returns to you. Ah, how you must have prayed for me to come back to you. To bring you Life. To bring you Reassurance. To bring you that Tranquility that can only be achieved by Pain! Well, dear people of Earth, I am back. At long last I am back!"
Unfortunately for the world's self-proclaimed Savior, his hearers were the Dancers from the End of Time, those decadent, bored inheritors of ultimate power as the world entered its final days. These included that authority on all the ancient faiths, Doctor Volospion; Argonheart Po, the super-cook; My Lady Charlotina; and that impregnable spinster from the 21st Century, Miss Mavis Ming . . .
And the last thing they needed was a messiah. Especially one like the Fireclown, for that was who it was.
By the author of the classic Elric of Nelnibone sword and sorcery series.