If A Nightmare In The Conditional Mood Author:Charles L. Graves A Nightmare in the Conditional Mood - Dedication THIS INGENIOUS WORK, SO MANY OF WHOSE SPECULATIONS ARE IN THE AIR, IS ADMIRINGLY DEDICATED TO THE TWO PERSONALITIES OF THE DAY MOST FRAUGHT WITH MYSTERIOUS POSSIBILITY - THE BROTHERS WRIGHT, THEY WILL HAVE IT - Contents If everything Were known PAGB If Velasquez had dragged in Chesterton . 2 If th... more »e Mountain had come to Mahomet . 6 If everything were known 7 If the Socialists came in . . 11 If Rodin sculped Haldane . . 13 If Monarchs advertised . . 14 If Maud Allan wore Wellingtons . . 17 If the Premier advertised . l8 If swelled heads were lighter than air. . 19 If there were a Concert of Europe . . 20 If Bernard Shaw gave up his beard . . 22 If Imre Kiralfy found a biographer . . 23 If Imre Kiralfy had charge of the Tower Bridge . . . . 24 If every man were his own laureate . . 25 If Henry V111 met Lord R . . 26 7 CONTENTS If the Leader of the Opposition advertised 27 If faces get any flatter . . 28 If no one had more than L300 a year . . 29 If Lord Northcliffe were Chancellor of the Exchequer . . . 33 If the Socialists captured Eton. . . 34 If Columbus had never seen an egg . 35 If Socialism affected cricket . . 36 If W. G. Grace lived to be 200 . . . 38 If Socialism affected music . . 39 If Clara Butt were any taller . . . 41 If the Women came in . . 42 If Sir John Fisher were Nelson. . 47 If every man were his own laureate . . 48 If the smile never came off . . . 49 If more hatchets were buried . . . 50 If Archdeacons were arch . 52 If motorists became gentlemen. . . 53 If big game gave out . . . . 55 , If the real heroes were rewarded . . 56 If Eustace Miles were Director of the Zoo . 59 If the Kings speech were drafted by a Bart Kennedy . . 6 0 b Henry James . . . 60 Ifadvertiserstoldthetruth . . 62 If Sandow were President of the Royal Academy . . 65 If all public men had their owh weekes . 66 If Andrew Carnegie lived to be 200 . . 69 If Archdeacon Sinclair wrote the life of Maud Allan . . 70 If poetry paid . . . 71 CONTENTS PA6E If Mr. Swinburne collaborated with us . 72 If Another ex-Diplomatist were to apply 74 If George Alexanders trousers bagged at the knee . . 75 If Lipton lifted the cup . . 76 If only we had more room . . . 79 If Socialism affected the stage . . SO If authors were really enterprising . . 82 If Mr. Sargent had taken part in the Exodus . . 83 If the National a l l darn d o i a c l a de ern advertised . . . . . 84 If Lord Rosslyn wrote his autobiography . 86 If there were other Royal Picture-Books . S7 If it rained Tatcho in Piccadilly Circus . 91 If every woman were her own laureate . 92 If Conan Doyle lived to be 200 . ...« less