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Topic: O.T. -- Mad at Mom

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Subject: O.T. -- Mad at Mom
Date Posted: 2/1/2012 12:40 PM ET
Member Since: 7/22/2009
Posts: 2,617
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OK -- here's the story -- beware, it's rather sad.

Mom is off in Italy, galivanting about Tuscany and the Amalfi Coast. She did not take me.

Yesterday, I received a call from her friend who is caring for Mom's cats and dog. Linus, the youngest cat, is sick. Yes, please take him to the vet. Call from the vet -- cat needs to go to the emergency clinic. Yes, take him to the emergency clinic. Call from the emergency clinic -- "not sure what's wrong -- could be pneumonia, could be cancer, could be heart failure." Can keep him overnight and see if he responds to treatment. Fine.

Another call from emergency clinic about midnight. Complication -- glucose levels show diabetes. Cat is in diabetic crisis. Oy -- ok -- go ahead and treat in order to make him more comfortable. He will now need insulin injections for rest of his life. Great.

Agonize over contacting Mom. Finally fax her hotel -- no response.

Call this morning from vet at 7am. Linus is slightly better but not much. Choices: proceed to specialist; back to regular vet (emergency clinic closes at 7:30am) for lasix treatment which may or may not help; euthanasia. We're at $1000 now, more or less. Lots of conversation; doctor very patient and understanding; me indecisive. Bottom line -- cat is pretty sick. Quantity and quality of life, even with treatment, unpredictable. Aaaahhh...

I decide on euthanasia. Doctor was very understanding -- said that was a reasonable decision (vets probably always say that to make you feel better). Mom's neighbor who is an animal lover called to say that's what she would have done. Very nice of her to call and offer reassurance.

Not a good way to start the day. Mad at Mom for putting me in position of making this decision.

Not really -- Mom's my best friend. But, I'm sad.crying

...and maybe a little mad that she didn't take me to Italy!!


Date Posted: 2/1/2012 12:59 PM ET
Member Since: 3/27/2010
Posts: 2,139
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Oh no, that's a terrible situation all around. :( I had to put a kitty down to cancer and it was a terribly hard thing to decide and do. (hugs)

Date Posted: 2/1/2012 1:27 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2008
Posts: 1,356
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Oh, Deb, I am so sorry---how tough for you to have to make that decision on your own. Hug.
Date Posted: 2/1/2012 1:49 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,178
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Deb, we had to make that call for our cat Boomer for those exact reasons.  We managed his diabetes as long as we could without insulin.  It is very expensive to treat a diabetic animal, the quality of life is just not there.  You did the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I am sorry (((((big hugs))))

Date Posted: 2/1/2012 2:09 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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Deb, sorry you had to go through this but you did make the right decision. When there's no quality of life left, you don't want them to continue suffering. Plus all the stress of being poked, prodded and x-rayed. I've been talked into trying to prolong life for a pet one too many times.


Date Posted: 2/1/2012 4:58 PM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2005
Posts: 2,438
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My best friend had to call me on my birthday (our DC trip when we met you) to tell me that my wonderful, cherished cat, Lois Ann, had eaten Peace Lilies from Bil's funeral (which she had left alone for six months !!) and was in horrible, very sick, crisis situation. She ultimately didn't make it, despite my vet's best efforts. So, actually kind of double whammy - plants from my husband's funeral killed one of my fur-babies because it never occurred to me to do the research on that particular houseplant. 

(I sure didn't know Peace Lilies were toxic to cats and I will never again send them to anyone ever again for any reason.)

All this to say Deb, I can sure empathize with you, with your Mom's neighbor and with your Mom ... such a sad situation, but, like the others, I think you made the right call.


Date Posted: 2/1/2012 5:22 PM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2009
Posts: 1,588
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Ieee, yes, sad and hard decision to make.  Especially in proxy for someone else.  We had to put our 16.5 year old cat down almost a year ago, so I can totally empathize.

Last Edited on: 2/1/12 5:24 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 2/1/2012 5:58 PM ET
Member Since: 3/23/2008
Posts: 2,581
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Tough decision to make at any time but especially when the owner isn't you and not available.  You did your best, Deb.

Date Posted: 2/1/2012 6:03 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2008
Posts: 10,940
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I agree with everybody else's opinion Deb. You were placed in a rotten situation. Nobody ever wants to make that call. I don't blame you for being mad at mom - for not even asking you if you wanted to go with her and giving you the responsibilty for her pet. Did she make this trip alone? Who wants to do that? Seems to me that you and mom will have to have a heart to heart when she gets back- and let her know that you are more sad than mad! Yes! your feelings are hurt!

Last Edited on: 2/1/12 6:06 PM ET - Total times edited: 1