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Topic: Opinions, please.

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Subject: Opinions, please.
Date Posted: 4/11/2012 9:25 PM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2009
Posts: 11,987
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Recently I was sent a HB book.  Upon examination I noticed a stain on a text page that looked like red ink.  I did not mark it RWAP but simply told her to be sure and check her books as someone could have asked for their credit back, which I did not. That was after I did thank her for the book.  I received a nasty note about my being insulting (which I was not) and that if I wanted a new book, I should buy it.  She stated she sent books out as near to perfect.  Then she said I should not be on this site.  She is a member since August 2011 and has mailed out 11 books so far.  I was only trying to give her a reminder about stains not being allowed.

I replied and apologized if I sounded insulting, it was not my intent, and told her I was trying to let her know that no stains are allowed.  She answered that I was taking it to the extreme and not to PM her again or ask for one of her books.  And BTW, she ranted in the first PM, how she sent me this HB that cost her so much to buy and mail and I was getting the book for free.  When I replied I told her books are not free, that I had to do the same as her to earn a credit.

Should I have not said anything about the stain?  What would you have done? 

Date Posted: 4/11/2012 9:40 PM ET
Member Since: 9/22/2010
Posts: 3,694
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Some people just do not like receiving helpful advice. Unfortunately, they are very numerous.

There are two kinds of people in the world: ignorant people and stupid people.

Ignorant people don't know, but this can be remedied. Meanwhile, stupid people don't want to know.

Date Posted: 4/11/2012 9:53 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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In cases such as this, say a new member that I don't necessarily want to just dump a RWAP on them.  I might delay logging the book in for a bit and send the pm first.  If you receive a polite response and the new member seems willing to review guidelines and learn from the situation I would probably log the book in without the RWAP.  A rude or non-response, I'd just RWAP the book and let them take their lumps. 

The book is technically unpostable Priscilla, don't feel guilty for pointing it out.  Especially in a manner meant to be helpful to a new(er) member.  Even if the other member thought you were being overly picky...you didn't RWAP the book, all she really needed to do was make a polite response (and roll her eyes in private).  Unfortunately, it's all too easy to be rude online when there's no chance you will ever have to actually face the other person in RL.

ETA - regarding Thomas' comments, The Cutie has a favorite saying, "You can't coach stupid."  Sad but true, some people are just stupid and fight dirty and mean to remain ignorant.

Last Edited on: 4/11/12 9:55 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 4/11/2012 11:07 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,226
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This is why I mark RWAPs as RWAPs even if I don't ask for the credit back. That response I imagine to be the classic one for members that are getting caught a lot (its posted so much it has to be). If people never mark the books RWAP, the members keep getting away with sending it and claiming they have a perfect record.

Date Posted: 4/11/2012 11:42 PM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2009
Posts: 11,987
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I thought I was being too picky and tried to be a little kind with my action but apparently I should have marked it RWAP even if I did not want my credit back.  She was not nice at all and I have a feeling it won't be long before she is ousted.  The mark is not big but was made more apparent because some of the pages were kinked there.    I thank you all for your kind feedback.   

Date Posted: 4/12/2012 12:55 AM ET
Member Since: 10/23/2005
Posts: 7,719
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Some folks take things way too personally. I think what you did was very nice. I, unfortunately was not the recipient of your helpful message. I have decided to be who I am on PBS and let the chips fall where they may.

I PM about things too. Just this week I received a really nice book in a manilla envelope that was not taped shut and was way too big for the book. Of course the book tryed to saw its way out of the envelope on its journey to me. I debated sending a PM to the sender to give them a heads up. But only for a moment. I sent the PM, and hoped for the best. They did write back to let me know they appreciated me telling them. But even if they responded like your member did, I feel like it is part of my duty as a member here to share with others what works and what does not.

Dont let 'em get you down, Priscilla.


Edited for grammar, gramma

Last Edited on: 4/12/12 2:39 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/12/2012 1:18 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2009
Posts: 11,987
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Many thanks, Cheryl.  You have all been very helpful and understanding and I do appreciate it.