Discussion Forums - Random Acts of Kindness (RAOK) Random Acts of Kindness (RAOK)


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Date Posted: 12/8/2012 8:03 PM ET
Member Since: 1/10/2009
Posts: 1,806
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Hi to all and Happy Holidays!

I really wish members would return to the RAOK threads.  We seem to have lost so many and I believe it's because times are hard and people aren't posting much more than coupons.    Don't get me wrong, please.  Cpns are great and they help many members inclucing me.  But I am sure that we can all look around the house and find something to post OR look and grant a wish.  It's Christmas time.   If anyone is angry with me or with Pat, don't hold it against the rest of the members.  Come on y'all.  Get the spirit and lend a helping hand.  We are a lot of great people and we do great things.

Hugs and love to all!!!!!!


Subject: for me, it makes me feel good to share with you all!
Date Posted: 12/8/2012 11:39 PM ET
Member Since: 3/12/2007
Posts: 2,303
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Last Edited on: 12/14/12 7:44 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/9/2012 10:50 AM ET
Member Since: 4/17/2008
Posts: 1,483
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I agree with Kim - for me, it makes me feel good sharing with everyone on the RAOK.

I can't imagine why anyone would be angry with Irene or Pat - 2 of the nicest people I've met here on PBS!

I have a couple of thoughts on why we've lost a few people on the RAOK threads.  I've heard from others that although it feels great to give, it feels not so great to not know if something arrived safely & the person liked it.  Overall, this hasn't been my experience here in the RAOK, but it has happened now & then.  I try to give the person the benefit of the doubt, but if it happens frequently with the same person, then I generally choose someone else to send to.

Many times I get a pm confirmation that the item arrived and to me that's perfect.  However, I think we may be scaring away potential participants by not also posting in the Thank You thread.  When I last checked, there were 9 Thank You's & 236 views of the Thank You's (which may indicate something).  If we are granting wishes more than posting RAOK's & not posting in the thank you thread, then it looks like there's not much going on here (when there is!).

There are definitely great members & great things going on in the RAOK  heart

Date Posted: 12/9/2012 7:09 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 3,789
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I am starting to frequent the RAOK boards again; always seem to have extra coupons to post, and I like to grant wishes when I can.  Thanks to you ladies for keeping it running each month!

I agree with Sandi B. that the lack of a simple "thank you" can be a deterrent.  I once sent $40 worth of____________ to another member.  Sending something like that in the mail had me a little concerned.  A simple PM saying "got the package, thanks!" would have been very much appreciated.  I finally ended up PMing the member, after quite a bit of time had gone by, to make sure she received it, and she said "oh yes, thanks!".  Receiving that after-the-fact (and only after being contacted) PM really turned me off to the process, just a bit.  It really is a simple thing to do, to say "thanks" via a PM, just to let the giver know that whatever was being sent was received and not lost in the mail.


EDITED to remove specifics......

Last Edited on: 12/9/12 8:36 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/9/2012 8:55 PM ET
Member Since: 2/20/2006
Posts: 731
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I'll add my 2 cents I guess!  I do think this month, with the holidays, people are not really thinking about this forum, and most likely don't have the $ to mail stuff anyway.  We hope it picks up in Jan. - with all those weird, unwanted Christmas gifts you got!  :)

I agree completely about people not saying thanks. It's a big problem here. My oft told tale is that my very first RAOK cost me $8 to mail ( well over what it was worth,and I've gotten smart about what to offer and how to ship it now!)  You guessed it, I heard nothing!  Did have to PM and ask,and got the same as cats - "Oh, yes, I guess it did come, uh, thanks"   Very discouraging.   But I kept on and have had much better luck since - getting rid of lots and receiving such neat things from some great people.  I did actually send something to that member again,and heard nothing again.   Learned my lesson, no more to her, sorry!   Listen, I don't expect anyone to turn cartwheels over some silly little thing I sent ( but thanks for trying, Yvonne!)   But I did take the time to post, reply, pack and spent postage to mail it to you -the least you can do is tell me it arrived.  Life gets in the way of the RAOK a lot, yes, I know, me too.  We understand that, it happens to all of us.  But if you took the time to read the posts and PMd asking for something, please take the time to say a simple thanks.

And Sandi, you'd be surprised how angry some can get with those of us who moderate these threads.  We do have to ask people to remove or even just change the wording of their posts, to be sure we follow PBS rules.   We try to be nice about it, and really, no one wants anyone turned in to the team.  But some simply won't answer or do as we ask.  So we often get edited by PBS, when we could easily do this by ourselves.  I had a bad experience trying to do just that some time ago, and that did leave a very bad taste and kept me from this for awhile.  Irene, bless her, has taken some abuse too, but she keeps on!  So far, my first time back in ages, everyone has been so nice  -thank you!!

The RAOK is a wonderful part of PBS. Let's make it even more fun in 2013!

Date Posted: 12/10/2012 8:53 AM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2009
Posts: 901
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Most people respond with a very nice PM and a few of them will even post in the Thank you Thread as a bonus, so overall doing a RAOK is a very positive experience.

I often post items and have sent nice items other than coupons.  Sometimes the shipping costs are about 8 to 9 dollars and then it disappoints if I don't even know if they received the items, because the receiver does not bother to PM you or leave a short write-up in the Thank you Thread.

So maybe there are just some discouraged PBS members, who had similar experiences and are no longer participating, because their RAOK was taken for granted.

The few entitled ones who do not acknowledge the receipt of the RAOK will not hold me back from participating.  I just keep a list of those who are ungrateful and don't send to them.

Happy Holiday season to all.

Last Edited on: 12/10/12 10:43 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 12/10/2012 11:57 AM ET
Member Since: 3/29/2009
Posts: 2,686
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Hi. I try to send out stuff when I can. I know more of you are wonderful in sending out RAK's. I try to email every time I recieve something to let them know I got and that I appreciate it. I am trying to add more items when I go through my stuff. I just moved recently and I haven't had gobs of time to go through my packing boxes to see what I can give away. I appreciate this thread and I try to to participate as much as I can.

Date Posted: 12/10/2012 12:20 PM ET
Member Since: 10/14/2005
Posts: 1,228
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Sadly, I'm one of the people who has become discouraged recently.  I love to give, but it's so disappointing to not get a thank you or even a confirmation that the item I sent has been received.  I've lost count of the number of times I've had to PM someone only to get an "I've been busy" or "I forgot" response. That takes the fun out of it.

Don't get me wrong...I have had many wonderful exchanges here and will most likely continue to participate at a later date.

Last Edited on: 12/10/12 1:36 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Subject: My .02
Date Posted: 12/10/2012 8:20 PM ET
Member Since: 12/3/2009
Posts: 276
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Hi there,

I am a lurker usually (and I am so sorry to hear that you moderators have been taking flak) and I am also disappointed when people fail to acknowledge things but also know how busy all of us get.  Personally, this is the time of year that I try to send things off to my adopted soldiers so that pretty much takes any spare money I have between buying items and shipping them.  I don't say it often enough but I really appreciate all that you do and I enjoy reading about the treasures that others have to share.

Date Posted: 12/11/2012 8:00 PM ET
Member Since: 2/20/2006
Posts: 731
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Dear Lurking Elf!

         Taking the time, effort and expense to mail to our soldiers rates right up there on the RAOK scale!     You are doing  a very good  thing - lurk to your heart's content!  And feel free to join us any time you wish.



Date Posted: 12/14/2012 5:54 PM ET
Member Since: 11/7/2010
Posts: 513
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I often don't have anything but coupons to ROAK.  I don't like clutter, so I don't have much here except things that are mine that I still need.  But I did recently send a care package to another member who is going through a rough time and wouldn't be able to give her children a Christmas this year.  It's also about money....which I don't often have much of lol....especially around this time of year.   When I can give, I give.  It may not be as often as others but I think every bit counts, no matter how large or small, all the time or here and there. smiley

Date Posted: 12/15/2012 12:00 AM ET
Member Since: 11/28/2008
Posts: 3,365
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I am one of those who is bad about posting in the Thank You Thread. I often send a PM letting the person know I got it, but I almost never post in the thread. Guess I just figured if I messaged it would be okay. But I will make an effort from now on to post in the thread. Thanks for bringing it up guys. And I don't often have things that other people are interested in, but I post coupons and stuff when I have them. 

I have to say, there are some people on here who are wonderful people. I have gotten to be friends with some of you and there are a few who even know what I like and send to me without asking. There are certain times for things like coupons that I just don't know whether I should thank the person who sends me coupons all the time, especially when they never reply back. I have gotten to know several people(Tara, Connie, Phyllis and Lisa) who send me things I like such as coupons and perfume samples without me even asking. Thank you all for everything!!

This time of year I think is slowing a lot of people down. Between expenses of shipping and just being busy. Maybe after the new year? 

Date Posted: 12/16/2012 10:38 AM ET
Member Since: 2/6/2009
Posts: 1,411
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Hey all! I am back from my time of volunteering in Peru! Personally that's the reason I haven't be posting for the last three months :P

It's sad to hear that people are drifting away from the RAOK section. It has always been a bright little corner of the Internet for me, where I could go and see people being kind to each other for no other reason than because they want to. I hope the traffic has only slowed because of the approach of Christmas, much like the swapping of books always slows around Christmas. I know I probably won't be able to post or send much even being back now because I've got a lot of catch up on from these last three months but I certainly don't plan on leaving the RAOK section for good. 

Happy Holidays to everyone and I have missed you all so much these last three months! I look forward to sharing and swapping with all of you again! 

Date Posted: 12/16/2012 11:10 AM ET
Member Since: 2/20/2006
Posts: 731
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I found another 2 cents to add!  And Erin, welcome back!  Again, I adree with her, I do think the holidays have a lot to do with the slow threads here. 

Also wanted to say, re posting your thanks - I'm the one who started the thank you thread way back when, before we had our own forum and were still a part of CMT.  It was a way to keep our I Wish and give away threads free of clutter - simply wishes and freebies, without addred replies saying thanks all thru those 2 threads.  When you go to the RAOK, you see what people have to offer.  When you go to the Wishes, that's all that's there - works great.

One main point that's still in the Thank You thread guidelines is that it's NOT necessary to post your thanks there......... as long as you PM the member.  Some do one or the other (myself included), some do both.  Please don't feel bad if you don't post - the most important thing is to PM and tell the RAOKer their mail was received.

And, of course, if you are reading this thread and posting your thoughts, you aren't the ones we are talking about anyway!   You care enough to check out this topic, and you do your part in either posting or PMing your thanks.  We appreciate that.  As Sandi said earlier, lots of lookers. Yes, could be some are looking to see if they got thanked there, having heard nothing about what they sent.- been there, done that lots!   But then, some of us just check all the threads often - we're - uh - nosy!!  :)

Thanks to all for caring enough about the RAOK to want to do better.  I'm not worried at all about us in the New Year.

Last Edited on: 12/16/12 11:13 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/17/2012 7:04 AM ET
Member Since: 4/28/2009
Posts: 10,207
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In an attempt to encourge more RaoK business of late, I sent out Christmas cards to many of the ladies I receive or send out coupons and Raoks to!

Date Posted: 12/19/2012 12:00 AM ET
Member Since: 1/10/2009
Posts: 1,806
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To all of you wonderful members:

I didn't get back to this like I should have and really appreciate all the response.  Here again, it's mostly from the die-hards(a good movie).  Anyway, I have suffered from some terrible bronchitis and still feel yuck!  No excuse but sometimes illness takes us away, too.  It's just that there are so many views and I don't understand the non-participation.  Hopefully January will bring a return, as Pat suggested.  If anyone wishes to take turns moderating, that would be great.  If I can catch on, believe me, anyone can.

Thanks to you all and Merry Christmas!


Date Posted: 12/20/2012 11:54 AM ET
Member Since: 11/28/2008
Posts: 3,365
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Irene, I would be interested in moderating but not sure I am qualified:) Let me know what it takes and I can maybe give you a bit of a break. Praying you feel better~~

Date Posted: 12/21/2012 11:32 AM ET
Member Since: 1/3/2009
Posts: 866
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I always send my thanks by PM. I figured, that way, I knew the person would see it and I wouldn't have to "clutter up" the Thank You thread. Never thought about how it looked to other people. Didn't figure anybody was really paying attention to that. The only time I post to the Thank You thread is when I've failed to save the RAOK PM and the member didn't put their username on the package. I'm afraid to just post in the Thank You thread, because the giving member might miss it. Guess I'll try to do both, if I can remember.

One thing I wish is that the coupons had their own thread. There aren't a lot of coupons for the things I buy and coupons tend to be short dated these days. If the coupons had their own thread, I think it would be easier to read. 

Just my opinion. Please don't think I'm complaining. Y'all do a gread job and I'm grateful for everything that has been sent to me.

Date Posted: 12/21/2012 11:40 AM ET
Member Since: 11/28/2008
Posts: 3,365
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Hey Glenda, there is a coupon thread but it is used somewhat in spurts. People sometimes just post in the RAOK thread anyways. 

Date Posted: 12/27/2012 12:15 PM ET
Member Since: 5/31/2009
Posts: 3,112
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Life gets pretty busy here so I don't always check RAOKs.  When I do I usually find something to send or may ask for.  Don't often post lists as I check requests first - just sent some shower curtain rings to someone as I had replaced mine.  Books are something I usually request as I collect for others who are in need.  I don't care if I get a thank you in the thank you thread as a pm is quite enough.  I, too, send pms but not always thank you in the thread.  What bothers me most is when I respond and get no response for my offer or someone does not let me know what I sent arrives.  It's ok if what I offer is not needed - just tell me up front. Sometimes, too, I get the feeling that what I've sent is not appreciated.  I have given to requests in book bazaar and the reading threads and have always received thanks in those situations.  Reading the this thread gives me ideas about how to help in my community, too.

Last Edited on: 12/27/12 12:27 PM ET - Total times edited: 5