I listed a book that had a member waiting. I thought that if/when the member requested the book, I would get the chance to PM them and let them know that there is highlighting in the text, but as soon as they made the request, the PM button disappeared.  Now, I am desperately trying to find a way to contact the member. Does anyone have any suggestions?

You have to accept the request in order to PM the requester.  Then if they don't want the book, you need to cancel the order

.  If the book has highlighting in text, it is not postable (against PBS guidelines).

  I would cancel the request rather than accept if I had an unpostable.

P.E.--There is an exeption to the "no highlighting" rule.  If the book is a textbook (which is rather loosely defined by PBS to be any book ever used as a textbook) then it can contain highlighting, but the sender needs to get the receiver's okay before sending the book.

I have a transaction pending that serves as a fine example.  Yesterday I requested a book that is not, in the strictest of senses, a textbook (like the kind we used in gradeschool, with sections and review questions and all) but it's easily the type a college course would require.  Today, after the request was accepted, I received a PM from the sender informing me that the first three chapters had some highlighting, and asking if I would still like the book.  Since the book fits into the larger interpretation of "textbook", and I was duly notified, this is completely acceptable.  I said yes, and am now waiting for the book to be mailed according to the usual schedule.  So, if the book in question is of the sort that might find its way into a class curiculum, it's not necessarily uponstable.  However, if the requesting member would prefer a copy that didn't have highlighting, he or she would be well within his or her rights to decline.  I couldn't find anything explaining how one should proceed from there, i.e. whether the requester or sender should cancel the transaction, but my hunch is that the sender should cancel so that the request can move on to the next copy in line (should one exist). 

The sender needs to select the last mail by date, to give time for a response.

If the highlighting is not okay, then the sender needs to cancel.  It then helps if the receiver who said no puts up a RC for this one book, giving the sender access to the folks next on the WL.

I stand corrected.  If the book is considered a textbook, highlighting is ok with the requester's permission.

And just about any book can be considered a text book. If you say you used it in an English class or Literature class, no one is going to nay say you and it is condsidered a text book for your transaction.