Not an accusing or mean kind of PM, but to say hey, just to let you know, I have not received the book yet?   As the date gets closer and closer to the action date, I don't want the other person thinking that I have forgotten or I am sitting on the book and not marking it "received".   I don't know if they are wondering "Did she get that book yet?"

 I know they are waiting for their credit, but I haven't gotten the book yet.

I don't want to be a pest, so what do you guys do?

No, I don't PM. As a sender, I assume that if you haven't mark the book received is because you haven't received it. If the person PMs you asking if you have received the book, then of course reply. But if you are marking your books received as soon as you get them, then you are doing what you are supposed to do.

I don't PM. But that's just me. You can PM if you want. I think if they are curious about their book and the credit, they will PM you! Make sure the book wasn't being sent from Hawaii, Alaska or an APO/FPO address first. Those will almost always take longer than average and often do go lost before they arrive. Don't order another copy right away, wait at least a couple of weeks.

If I send a book (I use the PBS postage) and it's been scanned as delivered, I will send a PM just before the book is set to go lost, if that delivery scan was at least a week before. Although I have to say, I think that has happened a grand total of...once. The hopeful receiver and I both checked with our POs and initiated a trace but it was never found. Sometimes things do just get misdelivered. 

Cheryl

I don't PM. I will respond if a sender PMs me to ask.  But so far of hte 4 books that have gone lost enroute to me, none have PM'd to ask me if I really received them or not.  I did PM on one becuase there was a DC scan as delivered but I never received the book.

I don't usually PM people about it. I'm about to have a package of two books go lost. According to the transaction details, the poor package got sucked into the black hole that is Warrendale, PA on January 30.

I know that the package is either lost, stolen, or destroyed. The sender can see it too so, no real need to PM about it.

When I am the recipient no. I have had people PM me asking about their book and no matter now politely they ask, I always feel like I am being put on defense and it always feels awkward answering, "No, I mailed the book when I said I did...I have no idea where it is but I have often had books take 3 weeks or more to reach me, etc."

If I am the sender I will always PM a few days before it goes lost to assure them that I mailed it when I said I did, and I am just double-checking to make sure that they have not received it and telling them how to mark it received if it does arrive after the lost date.

I will PM when I get within the last couple of days before system action. I PM them to confirm that the book is on its way so that I know to put the book on Hold on my Wish List to avoid getting two copies.

I would NOT PM prior to those last couple of days unless I have a DC scan showing it delivered - then I would PM 7-10 days after the delivery scan to inquire if they have the book or if I need to start a lost/stolen mail trace while the carrier might remember what they did with the package.

If I am a sender I would PM around that 2 days before lost time too. I think I have only had one to an APO take that long though.

I have on about 1/5 times.  I PM'd once as sender to assure the receiver that I did mail on the date it was marked mailed.  I think once as a recipient, but I'm not sure.

Yes, as a sender or receiver I might pm a few days before a lost date.  I agree with Melanie's answer.

If the other member is not nagging, or jumping the gun time wise I try not to take it personal.  Members just want to know if the book is lost (in which case they might contact the PO) or forgotten (in which case a nice reminder usually gets the book marked).  I'm the curious sort, so I get kinda OC as the transaction ages....regarless if I'm the sender or receiver.

Yes, I also PM a few days before the book is scheduled to go lost in the mail. I've done it as both the sender and receiver of books.

As a sender, the 5 times I had to do it, 4 of the books had actually been received and the people just "forgot" to mark them received.

As a receiver, I've PM'd a few times about it, too ... in most of the cases, I never did end up receiving the book. But I let the other member know that it really had not yet arrived, but I woudl keep an eye out for it. And once, I am pretty sure that my PM caused the package to get mailed to me (yup, about 25 days after they said they mailed it).

I usually PM about 3 days before the system action date.  Something like "Looks like this book is going to go lost. If it shows up at some point though, I'll be sure to go in and mark it received."  That tells them that I didn't just forget to mark it received and it gives them the opportunity to reply if they know of some reason that it might not have arrived yet.  I'm careful not to accuse them of not mailing when they said they did or anything that cast blame on them.  Once or twice a book has actually shown up after it went lost in the system.  Usually it never does, but since I get my credit back when it goes lost it really doesn't matter to me (except the hassle of ordering again in a few weeks).  I don't think a book I mailed has ever gone lost, but I always use DC and even though it shouldn't, it seems to make it move along a little better.

No PM from me. It is what it is ... I either have it, or I don't. I let the system take care of all the mechanical duties.

If someone PMs me, I will PM  them back, however. I'm not against it, I just don't do it myself.

I will sometimes PM a day or two before a book's going to be marked lost -- especially if I have my shelf on vacation hold.  I may say something like,

"Just wanted you to know that although my account is on vacation hold, I'm here.  The book hasn't arrived yet, but I'm watching for it.  Please let me know if the Post Office returns it to you, or if you have any other info on it."

As a receiver I think I've done with only one book. The sender did not use DC and it was marked as mailed a minute after printing wrapper. So about 2 days before it was due to go lost in mail, I pm'd the sender and told her that I see the date is close and just wanted to confirm that the book hadn't been returned to them or anything else that I wasn't aware of. She did respond and let me know it had actually been delayed but was on it's way. I was able to give it a little more time. Had I not known of the delay, then I would have just automatically requested a new copy.

As sender, the only time I have contacted someone is if the DC showed a delivered scan but wasn't marked received. I just said something like Hey I see the book was scanned as delivered on xxx date and just wanted to confirm you had it and it wasn't misdelivered or something. One had forgotten to mark received and another said wasn't received, it was obviously misdelivered or something. I had to file a claim and it was never recovered.