bookaddict - 1/11/2007 2:22 PM ET
writer's block? Just kidding... :)
| As an avid fisherman, I often went ocean fishing as I was growing up with my father and the lighthouses were always a fascination to me. The stories that circulate these buildings of wonder are many and numerous.
My father was a wonderful storyteller who could mesmerize you with huanted lighthouses, landmark buildings, calling them symbols of comfort and places of refuge. All of these stuck in my mind as I was growing and finally I created a place of refuge from one of these lighthouses. Just the sight of it standing tall with the ocean lapping around it furiously makes my soul fill with gratitude.
Gutting it out and creating a home here was expensive but worthwhile. The top is my art studio where I spend countless hours painting and observing the beautiful ocean. The scenery never stays the same here. Some moments are calm and others are choppy. But the scene I enjoy the most is the winter as every day is a ever changing picture. White clouds billowing across the waters in the morning only to dispense into gentle moving waves. You can feel the power this place must hold. The knowledge of the depth and the life it breathes over you.
In the summer it's the boats of many sizes that go back and forth. Counting on the lighthouses to keep them on target and safe. They dare not come close though, because many a ship has gone down when being too near.
When I drag myself from the top floor, I go to the center where my main living space is. Equipped with all the trappings that any normal space has. Couches, lamps, kitchen, but most of all plenty of windows and a good years supply of food. A years supply of fool because this is a place that's difficult to get to and your often by yourself a lot of times, I never felt lonely though. I've always felt in tune with nature and living here is a dream come true.
Now if only I can have another fantasy. That's to be a marine biologist. To understand every breathing creation that moves around this lighthouse would be a great liftetimes work. I've always been fascinated with fish. Some actually look human in their faces and when I notice something wrong I want to reach out and help somehow. All animals are real living creations of God just as people are.
Maybe you would be interested in knowing about the beginning of my home making. My father and I decided to spend a weekened in this old abandoned lighhouse which only is checked about every six months for safety. The trip there was a dangerous one, but one we wanted to do. Upon arriving we notice the huge rock formations all around. Both of us knew the fishing must be great here. So on up we walk to the door. As we open it we go inside so we can observe how our weekened might be.
What we notice is walls that are chipped and floors that are barren. In the basement there seemed to not be much moisture. The most interesting room to us though was the shower room because we knew we may need it. Only we became quickly dissalusioned about that too, because it was found empty. Nothing worked in this place not even the electricity. This should be an interesting weekened, we laughed, as we get out mats to lay in the room on the top floor.
Soon the sun sets and the darkness creeps over this place. At first that didn't bother us, but the darker it got the more we began to hear stange sounds and these sounds seemed haunting as if a real person was making them. The lanterns we had with us began swaying back and forth like this entity was actually trying to speak to us. So needless to say we stayed up all night as we watched the sun rise creating a stream of many colors we feel relieved and decide to go fishing.
So what if we didn't sleep the night before. We're on an adventure. This adventure gave us more than we bargained for as my father relates to me, how many boats have crashed around this lighthouse. Maybe we should go treasure hunting instead of fishing I was thinking. Noticing the twinkle in my eye and practically reading my mind my father says that treasure hunting would not be a good idea because he's just not ready to lose his son anytime soon. I laughed wondering how he knew what I was thinking. No fish were caught but we didn't care as the son began to go down again. So we gather up our gear and climb in. Only as we drive away we notice the image of a woman dressed fully from head to toe with bonnet and a long dress like in old fashioned days. She was waving at us, telling us good bye and come back soon it seemed. A shiver ran through me as I watched her dissappear. The further we went away.
Even though our adventure gave us more than we planned. I couldn't help but think that the lighthouse would make a great home. I would need to get an exorcist first of course is what I am thinking. With the land in sight we decide to dock our boat.
"Well son, that was an interesting weekend", my father says to me as he places his arm around me. I'll never forget that moment after that weekened that he was diagnosed with cancer. His decline was quick and his passing comfortable because of the morphine they gave him. Thank God for nurses. They really care.
To keep myself from sinking into despair I decide to turn the lighthouse into a home. Fixing every chipped wall, adding electricity and most importantly putting in showers and on glorious toiler. All this work kept me from falling apart. Standing back and looking at my place of refuge is rewarding. The place is breathtaking. I've always loved homes with character and boy does this one day say character. The sight of the light in the windows at night are too beautiful to describe and the interior is one of my own making and personality. Not someone else's personality. My father would be so proud if he could see it, especially the walls that are lined with his photos. I can't bring him back so my life needs to move forward as I decide t invite some friends over for a house warming.
They all come to visit me and I notice them moving about and enjoying the space I created. One in particular catches my eye. It's my friend Debbie. We've known each other for ten years now and we can finish each others sentences like we've been married. Tonight she looks more radiant than usual, dressed in a short and sexy red dress that leaves her soft shoulders barren. She doesn't need to worry. Her shoulders are beautiful. Even though partially hidden by her long reddish toned hair. What I wouldn't give if she would just allow me to touch those shoulders of hers I am thinking as she notices me out of the corner of her eye.
Slowly she moves across the room and takes ahold of my hand. Looking me directly in my face and smelling of perfume. I feel lightheaded but don't say anything.
"Your home is beautiful", she says, and kisses me on the cheek. I couldn't be more grateful. The night begins to settle in and we all dance for an hour or two slowly and in awe of the feeling of the ocean breeze as it blows through my home and through my hair.
One by one all my friends leave, but Debbie decides to stay awile longer. Can we go outside and sit on the rocks she says, I just want to enjoy listening to the ocean. So with my arm around her waist we go outside and sit on some of the large rocks out there. We are not uncomfortable. As a matter of fact the scenery combined with the starlight filtering over her skin gives me the boldness to ask her something personal.
"Debbie, I say slowly, and hesitantly? She turns her head my direction. "Can I ask you something personal? With a quizzical look in her face she says, sure go ahead. "Well, for a long time I have been thinking of you as more than just a friend." She doens't look surprised as she takes one of my hands in hers. Reaching into my pocket I pull out an ring box. Before anything can be said, she says, "Yes", with tears brimming in her eyes. Well it looks like I won't be alone anymore.
Debbie adds her personality to mine in our place of refuge. So as time goes by we have a family. Not one child, but three. All healthy and all well adjusted because their parents was well adjusted first.
As my children grow I tell them stories by the fireplace just like my father used to do. Hoping that when I move on they will do the same for their children. Maybe they will even carry on the tradition of living in a lighthouse. I can only hope and dream this for them. Perhaps even leave the one that I am living in behind as an inheritance so they will be tempted to keep my memory alive.
A lighthouse is truly a place of refuge and beauty. I really don't have to speak for it, it speaks for itself. Standing tall while glowing bright against a night sky of ever chaning scenes and bustlin winds and moving waves. While the birds grab at every portion of fish that can be seen and while boats both small and large move back and forth hoping to get their passengers to where they need to go. Beautiful is all one person can say. You should try it s ometime. Go to a lightlhouse and spend a weekend. It wil change you as it did my whole family. It will deepen your perspective and add to your soul. creating music only you can understand. Changing you in ways no words can describe.
The twilight of my life has arrived and I must pass ont he knowledge I have gained. Hurry and please accept the torch I am handing to you. Your honest and reliable, I know, I have seen it. I'm confident you will because you love nature in a special way just as I love nature.
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