Discussion Forums - Questions about PaperBackSwap Questions about PaperBackSwap

Topic: Please help: Newbie having problem w/ a member

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Please help: Newbie having problem w/ a member
Date Posted: 12/11/2007 12:42 AM ET
Member Since: 11/21/2007
Posts: 3
Back To Top

Hi, I'm a new member.

Most people here have been friendly and cooperative, and I've received a few great books as well as friendly notes from people who got books from me. However, one member mailed me a cookbook with writing in it. She did not tell me about this ahead of time, which violates the rules about cookbooks.

When I registered that I'd received the book w/ a problem, and wrote to her explaining the problem, she started sending me very rude emails, including insults.

How do I make sure that I am not sent any books from this person again? I don't want to deal with her in the future.

Thanks for your help.



Date Posted: 12/11/2007 1:01 AM ET
Member Since: 11/13/2005
Posts: 517
Back To Top

Use the "contact us" link at the bottom of every page to report the rude emails to the site operators.

When you request a book, you can use the "order more from member" or "pm" button to see who the request has gone to and cancel the request if you see it is some person you don't want to receive books from.

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 1:11 AM ET
Member Since: 11/21/2007
Posts: 3
Back To Top

Thanks, Bret. That's very helpful.

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 1:48 AM ET
Member Since: 2/13/2007
Posts: 8,411
Back To Top

Also, put her on your Buddy List and make a tag that says something like "do not trade". 

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 4:03 PM ET
Member Since: 8/30/2006
Posts: 172
Back To Top

I believe writing is allowed now in cookbooks, but they have to let you know about it. same as with stains in cookbooks.

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 4:13 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2007
Posts: 2,164
Back To Top

Writing is allowed - but the senders has to PM you about it beforehand, and the receiver has to agree that they still want it.  I'd report rude/insulting PMs to the founders.

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 5:08 PM ET
Member Since: 4/6/2007
Posts: 729
Back To Top

Any rude/abusive PM's need to be reported to R&R (the site owners).  You can do this using the Contact Us link at the bottom of every page. 

And, yes, they sender was REQUIRED to PM you about the condition of the cookbook before it was sent and you both had to agree to the condition before it was sent.  From the Help Center:

  • Exception: Cookbooks may have some mild staining, since these are used in the kitchen and while cooking, and some minor degree of staining could be expected in a used cookbook.  Also a small amount of writing in cookbooks could be expected
    • HOWEVER, if you post a cookbook and it is stained and/or written-in, the condition must be described to the requestor in a Personal Message
    • AND the described condition MUST BE AGREED TO before the book is sent
    • This is the one of the ONLY two cases in which a PM exchange about a book is required before the book can be sent (the other is for textbooks--see above).
    • this exception applies to the covers of cookbooks also.
Date Posted: 12/11/2007 8:05 PM ET
Member Since: 8/15/2005
Posts: 4,469
Back To Top

I'd forward the insulting emails to Robert and Richard, and let them deal with her.  Then I'd always check by clicking the pm button who I was dealing with--and cancel if I find out it's that person(if I was that dedicated to not dealing with her). 

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 8:08 PM ET
Member Since: 10/27/2007
Posts: 643
Back To Top


Welcome to PBS! We're glad you're here, and hope you have a great time. I'm pretty new  myself, and most people are so pleasant and willing  to please.


Date Posted: 12/12/2007 11:52 AM ET
Member Since: 11/21/2007
Posts: 3
Back To Top

Thanks to everyone who wrote. I did not know what to do. You were very helpful!

In case anyone else ever has this kind of thing come up, here's what happened:

I wrote to R&R, and they asked me to send them a copy of the PMs. I copied-and-pasted the entire exchange.

One day later, I received a message from R&R, saying that thay had discussed this at length w/ the other member, that she realized that her behavior was inappropriate, and that another occurrence would not be tolerated. Then R&R commended me on the calm way in which I had responded to her PMs. They also refunded my credit.

I am VERY impressed!

And, yes, I added her name to my Buddy List w/ a tag to  remind myself that I'd prefer not to deal with her again.

Thanks again... and Happy Holidays!

Date Posted: 12/12/2007 1:34 PM ET
Member Since: 8/27/2005
Posts: 4,134
Back To Top

Cynthia, glad to see that R&R responded in such a helpful way--hope your future dealings with other members are much more pleasant!