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Topic: really strange reason to cancel a book....

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Subject: really strange reason to cancel a book....
Date Posted: 4/6/2011 8:00 AM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2005
Posts: 10,713
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I had a wish list book posted to me yesterday that is a hard to find book I have had on my WL for over 3 years now! I was so excited when I logged in and saw it  there waiting for me!

Then this morning I got online and saw a message that my wish list request had been cancelled, and the sender's reason was that she had just joined PBS and her husband didn't like it so she was going to have to cancel her membership and not send any books out.

Hubby sounds more than a little controlling to me...and I'm SO disappointed about losing that book! It might not get posted here for another 3 years now!

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 8:13 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,599
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Maybe hubby is controlling, maybe not. Maybe he handles the finances and when she posted her books, 20 of them were wishlisted and requested right away, and they can't afford to send them. Who knows, not really our business.

I feel your pain, though...I just recently got a wishlisted book that had been on my WL since a couple months after I joined--so it does happen!

Cheryl

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 9:05 AM ET
Member Since: 5/9/2010
Posts: 13
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I have to agree with Cheryl, it might just have been that it was a bit overwhelming.  I can understand that because when I first joined I had posted about 30 books and within a day I had 20 requests.  That adds up a lot at the post office.   3.00 here and there isn't bad, but 20 books costs between 60-80 bucks, and that's a lot all at once.  For a while we were contemplating just sending those out and not doing anymore swapping because it'd be putting such a dent in our budget, but after the initial crazy (turns out a lot of what I posted were wish list books) it slowed down and we can handle it ok.  

 

Another potential concern of the husband's might have been that he likes to keep his books.  Some people don't like to get rid of their books even once they read them.  Maybe the wife didn't realize that he wanted to keep them and so she posted them and then he realized he didn't like the idea of her giving away his books and asked her to take them down.  

Maybe he didn't like the idea of a bunch of people having their address, who knows.  I wouldn't totally jump to conclusions and say he's controlling though. 

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 9:59 AM ET
Member Since: 2/13/2007
Posts: 2,269
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Maybe it had nothing to do with hubby...probably just overwhelming and didn't realize what it would be like -- hubby could be just an excuse instead of just saying "Whew, this is just too much for me to take on all at once!"

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 11:11 AM ET
Member Since: 8/15/2007
Posts: 3,044
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Or maybe it is exactly what she says. Her husband has an account but doesn't like it because he reads the types of books that aren't posted often (the one she posted hasn't been offered to the OP in 3 years after all). Perhaps his wife also reads the same types so he told her it wasn't worth it for them to join with a second account. 

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 3:15 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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Maybe she was posting hubby's books and he didn't like it  sad  couple years ago I had a member cancel a wishlisted book (rarely offered)...apparently she had posted prematurely and hubby wasn't finished with it.  I waited another year, but it wasn't posted into the system so I finally purchased a used copy.

Whatever wasn't working, maybe she will reconsider after she thinks about it awhile!

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 6:36 PM ET
Member Since: 11/14/2008
Posts: 745
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Maybe she just wanted the two free credits/books...

Date Posted: 4/6/2011 8:01 PM ET
Member Since: 8/6/2006
Posts: 1,619
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My hubby knows better than to get between me and my books.  He's a smart man!  LOL

Date Posted: 4/7/2011 1:56 PM ET
Member Since: 7/28/2006
Posts: 4,980
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Maybe she just wanted the two free credits/books...

Unfortunately that happens a lot too.  The member take their two startup credits and run. 

Date Posted: 4/7/2011 2:01 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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My hubby knows better than to get between me and my books.  He's a smart man!  LOL

HAHAHAHAHA! Same here Alisa!

Date Posted: 4/7/2011 2:19 PM ET
Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 286
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It's possible that she changed her mind (for whatever reason) was merely using him as the scapegoat.  I do understand your disappointment! 

Date Posted: 4/9/2011 9:05 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 88
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Maybe she just wanted the two free credits/books...

That was my first thought, too.

I have had many, many requests expire because the sender never responded. 

Sometimes I have looked at their bookshelves and found that they have exactly 9 books posted.  (10 minus the one that I have requested.)



Last Edited on: 4/9/11 9:06 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/10/2011 12:15 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2009
Posts: 1,355
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What is the book you were denied. Maybe one of us has it at home but not on our PBS shelf but would like to send it out to you. I hate it when members refer to a book but do not give the title etc. Curious minds want to know.

Date Posted: 5/10/2011 6:37 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 88
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Today I got a "Book Cannot Be Mailed" e-mail for a book I requested yesterday. 

The reason?  "Book will not be sent because it has been used."

Wha????

Date Posted: 5/10/2011 6:47 PM ET
Member Since: 1/22/2011
Posts: 2,395
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A member joined, posted great books immediately, I ordered 4.  The order was canceled. I PMed to ask why ( I remembered her contact info) She admitted she  hadn't read the rules and thought it was an I give you a book, you give me a book thing and had no idea of the costs, etc.. I hope she comes back though , because I really want a bunch of her books!

Three years of waiting...if I have it, I'll mail it to you free!

Date Posted: 5/10/2011 7:39 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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Linda do you have an RC of any kind? 

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 12:45 PM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2009
Posts: 1,588
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I wouldn't assume hubby is controlling, either.  Maybe a scape goat, or maybe it's along the lines of my hubby.

A few months after joining PBS and after the initial WL glut was over, I was out of credits and I offered a deal for the whole Wheel of Time series.  I know I'll never read them again and they take up SO much shelf space.  But when I pulled them to ship them, hubby objected.  He considered them part of our library and wanted to keep them.  It wasn't so much that he positively wanted to read them himself, but he wanted that option, and he feels like we've spent 20+ years building our library, and if I want to trade out my old HR or YA (which is the majority of my PBS shelf, and what I had discussed with him when I first joined) or books I didn't like, that's fine; but he'd rather re-arrange the house to make room for more bookshelves, than trade out "our library".  About a year later, we did just that -- rearranged the rec room and added about four more bookshelves.  (Which are already full, btw!)  I suspect that as we age and look to move to wherever we decide to retire, we might regre that general "keep most books" approach, but ... we'll cross that bridge when we get there. 

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 2:17 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 88
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Linda do you have an RC of any kind?

Yes, I do.  It basically reiterates the posting rules.  It says I'm not willing to accept books that have water damage, and also that I don't want books with underlining, highlighting, or writing in the margins, even if they are textbooks.  I found that many people who post books completely ignore the guidelines, or think that every book qualifies as a textbook.  They are also unaware of the rule that states that if a "textbook" has marks on the pages, you have to PM the requester to let them know before you send the book.

I have found that while some people take offense at being reminded of the rules for posting books, others quickly report that they cannot send the book because it doesn't meet my RC.  In some cases they write that the book doesn't meet my RC because it has water damage!  In other cases books that are clearly not textbooks have writing or highlighting in them.

But to say that a book will not be sent because it is "used" -- that's just weird.  Unless it was used by someone while they were taking a shower . . .  cheeky

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 3:00 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,187
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Yes, I do.  It basically reiterates the posting rules

The response you got is pretty standard for people who just won't deal with RCs at all. They figure its is a used book and if you are going to restate the rules you will be picky so they turn you down and the nicest thing that can come out of their fingers is "its a used book".

 

... or think that every book qualifies as a textbook ...  books that are clearly not textbooks have writing or highlighting in them.

Any book can be posted under the textbook/workbook exception so they are following the site rules as long as they get permission before sending it. If you search the Help Center for "textbook", you will find PBS's defnition of a textbook. According to PBS every book does qualify to be posted under the textbook/workbook exception.

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 3:24 PM ET
Member Since: 1/5/2007
Posts: 145
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Linda, that person is actually nice to say "this is a used book".  There are others who would turn down your RC with something more blunt because they don't want someone to rehash the posting guidelines.   

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 3:43 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 88
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I don't mind it when people turn down my requests because of my RC.  If people get huffy because I've restated the rules, that's their problem.

I would rather receive a rude PM (and I've gotten a few of those!) than another waterlogged book.  I got one of those a few weeks ago -- it was completely warped, with pages stuck together.  It looked like it had been dropped into a mud puddle.  I wrote to the sender to ask for my credit back, and she/he said they "didn't notice" that the book had water damage.  And no, the packaging did not show any water marks or brown stains, so the damage was not done to the book in transit.  FYI, I got the credit back and then recycled the book, in the trash.

At the end of my RC I "apologize" for restating the rules, adding that I have been burned several times by senders dumping their unusable books in my mailbox.  Even so, there are those who take the RC personally, and think that it's appropriate to insult me as a response.

I have also received many friendly, courteous PMs from senders who describe the condition of their books and ask if I want to cancel the request.  I really appreciate the people on here who behave like adults and communicate, and not like spoiled brats who have a temper tantrum when someone reminds them that there are rules. 

When someone requests a book from me, I read their RC and respect it.  If the book I am sending has any issues, I write a PM to the requester and ask if it's OK for me to send the book.  All I ask is for the same courteous treatment.

Edited to add: If I want a book badly enough I turn off my RC for that request. 

 



Last Edited on: 5/11/11 3:47 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/11/2011 6:06 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,774
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I actually like RCs that just restate the PBS rules because I don't even have to go check my book before accepting it.

It is the very most easiest RC to fulfill.

On the other hand, I don't think that all types of packages actually show visible damage when they get wet. Brown stains or water stains only come if 1. the water is dirty, or 2, clean water leaches out coloring or chemicals in the paper. Other than that, there will not be any stains or water marks. And, if the paper has tape on it it will probably not dry wrinkled. Depending on what was used to wrap the package, I think it's possible that it could get wet, and dry out leaving the book inside damaged.

Do I think that's how water damaged books usually happen? Nope. But I definitely think it is possible.

Date Posted: 5/11/2011 8:51 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I think the "the book is used" is a perfectly polite response to an RC they didn't watn to deal with.  Doesnt' mean the book was water damaged.  Most likely they just don't want to bother with RCs.  Many people turn down RCs on WL books even if it meets the RCS simply because they know the next wisher probably won't have any RC. 

I just posted the latest Sookie Stackhouse book. The very 1st wisher had an RC.  Basically it was a please only send me a postable book and no smoking.  I was really temped to hit "no" the RC because there's such a long WL for it.  But I bought it new and read it all the day I got it (almost in 1 sitting) so I'm sending it.  If she complains about anything she will not get a credit back.  The book looks never read.  I didn't eat or drink anywhere near it.

Date Posted: 5/12/2011 1:37 PM ET
Member Since: 2/19/2009
Posts: 439
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This thread has taken off into a bunny trail away from the original comment. My opinion is, if you are waiting years for a book, why don't you just go buy it if availble?  And, I don't mind RC's as I have my own for smoking and mustiness so I respect other's RCs. However, I don't need anyone restating the posting rules to me and if I saw that I would probably turn it down too. That is kind of obnoxious if you ask me. I have gotten so few books that are in poor shape that IMO people are swapping out gently used books that are in pretty good shape --- and I've swapped hundreds on this site since joining two years ago. We are adults and don't need to be reminded of the "rules" on every request.